What would ruin a dance for you?

[Steven666]

Going from another and a post by FH (can't quote soz as on wii), what would ruin a dance for you.

For me:

- Thumbs or tight grip throughout
- lack of timing, eg turning too quickly and not ending on a beat
- too many sabotages, one or so done well is OK
- when your partner is so obviously scanning the dancfloor or looking at a particular person paying no attention to anything in the dance
- (being slightly picky) people who walk around rather than spinning on one foot as it can somtimes restrict what can be led

There's most likely more things but I can think of anymore atm.

[Baruch]

- Excessive bouncing
- The Incredible Vice Grip of Death
- Body odour
- Complete lack of eye contact

[Caro]

- bad connection
- bad music
- sleaze / hurtful
- constantly off time (and not a beginner)

[dave the scaffolder]

- bad connection
- bad music
- sleaze / hurtful
- constantly off time (and not a beginner)

All of the above are either 1 dance situations or you talk to your partner and try to gently and tactfully remedy the situation, which could take a lot of time.

Seems to be a lot of threads picking up points on followers.

I as a lead am not perfect you know, and thanks to all the ladies who accept all of my imperfections and yet still allow me to dance with them.

There are a lot of men and women out there who have spent time and effort in improving me in leaps and bounds who I would like to thank.

Are we on this forum dance Gods and merely allow partners to dance with us....I think not.

We are all constantly evolving and improving and kudos to everyone who takes the time and energy to help us.

DTS Dave XXX XXX

[David Bailey]

A nasty dance partner.

Physical stuff is (hopefully) transitory - if someone steps on your foot, it hurts, but it doesn't usually ruin the evening, and you usually forget about it quickly.

But an emotionally-bad dance experience stays with you for a long time after.

[Lory]

All of the above, plus

dancing with a partner who looks bored!

dancing with someone who purposely tries to wrong foot you... just to 'catch you out' (yes, it does happen and those who do it, profess to find it funny )

Overly forceful leads

Just redress the balance.. I'd like to add something which makes a dance extra nice.. when the dance finishes, the lead escorts you off the dance floor. Its not a big thing and it doesn't happen often but when it does, it always makes me feel special!

[David Bailey]

Just redress the balance.. I'd like to add something which makes a dance extra nice.. when the dance finishes, the lead escorts you off the dance floor. Its not a big thing and it doesn't happen often but when it does, it always makes me feel special!

Good God woman, what will you want next, blood?

You'll be asking us to say "thank you" next, or even talk to you

I dunno, women, they're so demanding...

[David Franklin]

Physical stuff is (hopefully) transitory - if someone steps on your foot, it hurts, but it doesn't usually ruin the evening, and you usually forget about it quickly.

But an emotionally-bad dance experience stays with you for a long time after.

Fair point, but the question was "what would ruin a dance for you?", not "what would drive you to depression and despair, burning your dance shoes and sobbing on a street corner before being found by a kindly international tango teacher who sees your potential and {insert training montage} turns you into a dancing superstar".

[Lory]

I dunno, women, they're so demanding...

Me? Demanding?

[Double Trouble]

dancing with someone who purposely tries to wrong foot you... just to 'catch you out' (yes, it does happen and those who do it, profess to find it funny )

Oh yeah...that old chestnut. Absolutely hilarious and us followers just love it when you try and catch us out.

There are so many things that make a rubbish dance, but these are the ones that really make my blood boil.

1. Stinkers - How difficult is it to remember the golden rules...shower, deodorant and clean clothes.

2. No eye contract - Oh yes...that makes me feel really special. I'm not Medusa for crying out loud.

3. No rhythm - Sometimes it feels like your partner has an MP3 player with earphones on, playing a completely different track...and as has already been said, it's not just the beginners.

4. Me, Myself and I - The leads who think the dance is all about them. I find that to be the case with teachers more than any other dancer.

[gebandemuishond]

Just redress the balance.. I'd like to add something which makes a dance extra nice.. when the dance finishes, the lead escorts you off the dance floor. Its not a big thing and it doesn't happen often but when it does, it always makes me feel special!

I'm never sure whether to do this or not. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking: does she think I'm stalking her? If I were a lady I'm not sure how I'd take it if a guy followed my back to where I was sitting after the dance.

Any thoughts?

Dan

[geoff332]

Top of the list is the "me" stuff - if I'm not quite there (for whatever reason), then that ruins a dance (and, often) a whole night. I think I'm sloppy, my leads are vague, technique deserts me, rhythm is hard to spell word. I often either leave early or sit out a bunch of dances when that happens, because I'm sure it ruins the dance for my partner too - I wouldn't wish that on anyone (that said, the right dance with the right person can cure it in minute or two).

Environmentally, bad music or a crowded dance floor make a dance almost impossible. For some reason, I've been struggling to control space recently so a packed dance floor is even more troublesome for me. A dusty dance-floor is bad too: all venues should sweep before and after every ceroc night.

In a partner, top of the list is a lack of connection (although I'm not sure exactly what that means). I don't enjoy dancing with anyone who's not having fun - or any form of excessive seriousness. A lack of basic technique (eg a simple return/led turn) or timing means I have to concentrate on compensating for that instead of on dancing with them. Bad following is a part of that technique - trying to anticipate what I'm doing (which is almost impossible: I rarely know what I'm doing next...).

What I enjoy most is a a good dance floor with lots of room, good music (if there's room, then a big, expansive sound), and a partner I know reasonably well. Then we can dance together, we can play around with the music and (in a non-dodgy sense) with each other.

(It seems I'm thinking parenthetically today.)

[Lynn]

- A bad attitude. Whether that be exhibiting boredom, 'look at me' or 'you will do it my way even if that means I hurt you'.

- A sleaze/inappropriately close - rarely had this happen, but it makes the whole dance a matter of 'how can I get away'. (With someone I don't feel comfortable with, I hasten to add, don't mind UCP with a partner I trust.)

- Someone who hurts me in the dance - usually either by trying to remove my arm from my socket or bend my back by trying to dip me across their knee.

- An over crowded dance floor - especially with a lead who doesn't have good floorcraft as I spend the entire dance trying to stay safe.

Bad connection/timing/dance style etc does not ruin a dance for me. OK, I'll not enjoy it the way I will with great connection etc, but I can compensate for those things and if my partner is really enjoying the dance, I can still have an OK dance.

[ducasi]

There's a difference between a cake that's ruined, and one that's less than perfect. A ruined cake you don't want to eat – one bite is enough and you don't want to finish it. Most less-than-perfect cakes are still edible, and can be enjoyed to some degree.

Dancing is the same. It's only when I feel that I would rather not dance at all that I'd say the dance is ruined. Fortunately this doesn't happen very often.

Leaders are lucky, as they have much more control over how the dance works (they are like the cake's chef) and if they think it's going badly, they can still change the ingredients.

So what can ruin the dance for me?

• Severe injury. It's hard to dance with blood in your eyes, for example.
• Lack of good space. Lack of space can lead to injury. I also spend too much time making sure I'm keeping my partner and myself safe.
• A partner who can't dance. I make allowances for beginners, but occasionally you'll find an experienced non-dancer. It's like trying to make a cake without flour.

There are lots of others things I will try to avoid, like smelly, sleazy or grippy people, but if I still get a dance with somebody, then it's not totally ruined.

Rather than think about all the things I want to avoid in a partner, I'd rather think about what makes a perfect partner. But maybe that's another thread...

[Trouble]

no dance is a bad one unless you allow it to be in my opinion.

Its just a matter of lowering your expectations and trying to enjoy what you can out of it.

There are different typs of dances of course there are, i would catergorise them as follows...

1.MIND NUMBING BORING
2.HAND GRABBING TIGGER IMPERSONATING TWAT
3.LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM TOSS POT
4.HEAVY HANDED ASS
5.SWEATY SMELLY HEATHEN
6.NOT TOO BAD
7.MM SULTRY AND SEXY
8.GORGEOUS SULTRY AND SEXY
9.CHANGE YA KNICKERS SULTRY AND SEXY
10.TAKE HIM HOME SULTRY AND SEXY.

[Beowulf]

There are different typs of dances of course there are, i would catergorise them as follows...

...
7.MM SULTRY AND SEXY
8.GORGEOUS SULTRY AND SEXY
9.CHANGE YA KNICKERS SULTRY AND SEXY
10.TAKE HIM HOME SULTRY AND SEXY.

So on your scale I'm an 11 then eh?

Seriously.. what ruins a dance for me is Lack of interest from my partner. someone who backleads constantly and the vice grip of death as mentioned previously. Most anything else I can deal with

[Cruella]

dancing with someone who purposely tries to wrong foot you... just to 'catch you out'

I enjoy it when the lead does this. Gives me a sense of satisfaction when I follow all his attempts. If I don't follow it, then it gives me more to work on (and I then get him back with a sabotage/hijack )
The only thing that really ruins a dance experience for me, is pain! From either the person leading me or the people dancing near me.

[DD+]

Pretty much all has been said other than :-
The numpty that doesnt lead a move right - so i go wrong - then he tries to teach me the move in the middle of a dance floor

[dep]

.........dancing with someone who purposely tries to wrong foot you... just to 'catch you out' .................... when the dance finishes, the lead escorts you off the dance floor. Its not a big thing and it doesn't happen often but when it does, it always makes me feel special!

I'll have to work on the escorting thingie.

But, I'll defend introducing challenging moves to any follower whether she be a beginner or much better.
Yes, sometimes they go wrong, but quite often by next week they are expecting it and can follow easily.

If a week one beginner shows confidence, then I'll introduce simple extra moves and return to the taught moves to restore them to their comfort zone. You can feel it in their hands and see it in their eyes when you take them out of their comfort zone. Then once resettled I'll go back to those same extra and try some other moves. But each chosen move is assessed on where I think the followers ability has reached before starting it.
I feel this is teaching them to "follow" rather than recognise a move and anticipate where they think they are going next. This is rather different to the Ceroc way where whole moves are taught to both the Leaders and Followers.
I would not consider my approach to beginners to be boring, but equally I believe it does not frighten them off.

[Miss Lead]

If I had to pick one of those already mentioned it would have to be bad hygiene. A thumb can be removed (broken) from the back of my hand, a poor lead can be sabotaged but I do struggle to maintain consciousness if I have to hold my breath for 3 minutes.