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Thread: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

  1. #181
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    No, really, I'm shy. Honest.
    and to top all of that when jay jay introduced you to me at st albans i felt (i may be wrong here) that you almost blanked me

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    and to top all of that when jay jay introduced you to me at st albans i felt (i may be wrong here) that you almost blanked me


    Blimey, that means he's practically in love with you..! You should see what he's like around people he doesn't like
    Last edited by Double Trouble; 5th-November-2008 at 12:52 PM.

  3. #183
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    My point is, it's ironic that people made a big deal out of how we're all lovey-dovey at the top of the thread, and then get all defensive when someone says that, actually, sometimes groups can appear intimidating or cliquey. Surely I'm not the only one to see a slight contradiction here?
    Why, are we only allowed to talk to people when they've given their identity first?
    Also its not as if patrick is exactly a newbie either with 350 posts under his belt
    And anyone who knows me will tell you i will talk to anyone on or off the dance scene which is why i suppose i take it a bit to heart when someone comes here and tells me i am part of an exclusive clique

    Quote Originally Posted by ant View Post
    I think this is unfair. If you look at how all this deveoloped, all the defensive posts started when Patrick had a paddy (no pun intended) rather than his criticism of groups being intimidating or cliquey.
    It seems to me that Patrick can say what he wants and nobody can disagree, however reasonably that is done and in Martingold's post above I thought that was very reasonable. I also find it ironic that he then does another post only when someone agrees with him.
    yeah odd that isnt it thanks for standing up and being counted Ant are you going to cheshunt this wk? it will be nice to meet you at last

  4. #184
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post


    Blimey, that means he's practically in love with you..! You should see what he's like around people de doesn't like

  5. #185
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post


    Blimey, that means he's practically in love with you..! You should see what he's like around people he doesn't like
    About the same, actually.

    Seriously, I tend to want to get to know people quite slowly, and usually on a 1-to-1 basis. I've got no truck with this big-group-hug-forum-gathering-love-in-hippy-commune nonsense, it just has no value to me.

    The forum is not really a shortcut for me to make lots and lots of friends (OK, probably the most obvious point I've ever made ) - for me, friendships take time to develop, and individual attention.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    About the same, actually.

    Seriously, I tend to want to get to know people quite slowly, and usually on a 1-to-1 basis. I've got no truck with this big-group-hug-forum-gathering-love-in-hippy-commune nonsense, it just has no value to me.

    The forum is not really a shortcut for me to make lots and lots of friends (OK, probably the most obvious point I've ever made ) - for me, friendships take time to develop, and individual attention.
    Its not really friendships though is it. What do you know or anybody else for that matter, really know about people in the dance world. Yes i know lots and lots of dancers, yes i count them as great people and love their company but do we know much else. Probably little about most of them except the few that you might really get to know and socialise with outside of the danceworld.

    I love the forum gathering.. it for me is about seeing people that we communicate with on the forum and putting a face to a name, its about getting some lovely dances and its about making a weekender more social. I think avoiding the gathering is your own choice but its nice when we all get together. Bliss this weekend has a little gathering planned for Steve's engagement... thats really nice and i'll be there with my t shirt on incase anybody comes thats new that doesn't know me and hopefully will come and intro themselves. Its the opportunity to come and meet people they have not met. Im all for it. Its not luvvie duvvie.!! The BIG difference is we should try and make new forumites feel welcome and not that they have stepped into a private party.

  7. #187
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely ... And I had some refusals and very reluctant charity dances when I asked.
    This isn't a forumite only thing though it's an interesting potential thread as to whether forumites do & should interact any differently with forumites than non-forumites.

    There are three ways you can stop being subject to refusals/charity dances

    1. be a good dancer
    2. be good looking
    3. be both

  8. #188
    Registered User ant's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    yeah odd that isnt it thanks for standing up and being counted Ant
    Quite honestly Martin up until now I have not been to Forum meets, therefore I do not feel I have the right to say other forumites are cliquey or unfriendly. I also feel that when you critise a group then that group has the right to defend itself. I find it rich that someone feels he can say something on this forum that others can reasonably find to critical and that person does not give them any reasonable right of reply.

    Originally posted by Martingold
    are you going to cheshunt this wk? it will be nice to meet you at last
    Unfortunately (meaning it would nice to meet) not, I'm going to the LGTN meet with Jay Jay if she is still going.
    However I will be at Ware on the 28th, probabally see you there

  9. #189
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    Why, are we only allowed to talk to people when they've given their identity first?
    Oh for god's sake, your getting silly now

    I talk to everyone and anyone, if they happen to be members of the forum, then thats just a coincidence.

    But, I also know a whole bunch of people (forumites themselves) who go out of their way to avoid 'forumites gatherings'

    Just as I know another whole bunch of people, who really love the community side of being a member and go out of their way to arrange meets etc.

    And there's nothing wrong with either!

    We're all different.. we don't have our personalities automatically changed, when we become a member.

    It really does annoy me is when someone lumps us all together collectively, apart from themselves of course and brands us, as one!

    It reminds me of the kid in the playground, who sits away from everyone, looking miserable, watching all the other kids laughing and playing and then complains to the dinner lady that they're all nasty cos no ones taking any notice and no ones playing with them!

    Well, maybe they're NOT nasty, maybe they haven't noticed, huh??
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  10. #190
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    There are three ways you can stop being subject to refusals/charity dances

    1. be a good dancer
    2. be good looking
    3. be both

  11. #191
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    This isn't a forumite only thing though it's an interesting potential thread as to whether forumites do & should interact any differently with forumites than non-forumites.

    There are three ways you can stop being subject to refusals/charity dances

    1. be a good dancer
    2. be good looking
    3. be both
    Well i dont actually agree with this completely. Being good looking and a terrible dancer makes you appear ugly in the dance world. Being butt ugly but a good dancer will actually make you appear like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie.

  12. #192
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Well i dont actually agree with this completely. Being good looking and a terrible dancer makes you appear ugly in the dance world. Being butt ugly but a good dancer will actually make you appear like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie.
    That's not the point.

    If you are good looking but not a very good dancer you are still less likely to get refused than if you are not good looking. This applies to both leaders and followers.

  13. #193
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    That's not the point.

    If you are good looking but not a very good dancer you are still less likely to get refused than if you are not good looking. This applies to both leaders and followers.
    True, it'll get you the first dance, but will you get asked again, not matter how good looking you are, if you are dreadful?

    It's just that if you're not young/slim/good looking, you can struggle a bit more to get that first dance in. But if you're a good dancer, then usually you get repeat dances.

    And who wants to only ever get one dance with someone they enjoy dancing with?

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    If you are good looking but not a very good dancer you are still less likely to get refused than if you are not good looking. This applies to both leaders and followers.
    That might be how you see followers robd, but I never ask someone to dance based on their looks...never. It's all about the dancing for me. No one wants to dance with "2 felt feet eye candy", it's not like you're gonna get a shag at the end of it.

  15. #195
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    There are three ways you can stop being subject to refusals/charity dances

    1. be a good dancer
    2. be good looking
    3. be both
    phew i am ok then being as i am both

  16. #196
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    That might be how you see followers robd, but I never ask someone to dance based on their looks...never. It's all about the dancing for me. No one wants to dance with "2 felt feet eye candy", it's not like you're gonna get a shag at the end of it.
    Actually i agree entirely with this we have at one venue i frequent a lady who is imho quite beautiful
    unfortunately after about 7 months of lessons she still hangs on for her life and pulls just about every one of your muscles simultaneously
    I never ask her to dance you always come away in total agony having to rest afterwards. Then again there are others who are not quite so attractive (also imho) and are really light on their feet and great fun i will be one of the first to ask them to dance
    Of course where you and most other forumites are concerned they have both beauty and dance capabilities

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    That might be how you see followers robd, but I never ask someone to dance based on their looks...never. It's all about the dancing for me. No one wants to dance with "2 felt feet eye candy", it's not like you're gonna get a shag at the end of it.
    When I am looking around for a dance at an event I have never been to I have to say I will ask somebody due to their looks especially when I have never seen them dance before.

    If I have a chance just to look around and see how people dance i will ask somebody to dance due to their ability.

    Neither of the above guarantees me a good dance, you will only guaranty yourself a chance of a good dance by dancing with people you have danced with before IMHO

    (Mr Waiting to be shot down in flames)

  18. #198
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    it's not like you're gonna get a shag at the end of it.
    What? Now you tell me?

    Blimey, that's 20 years of my life wasted then

  19. #199
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I talk to everyone and anyone, if they happen to be members of the forum, then thats just a coincidence.

    But, I also know a whole bunch of people (forumites themselves) who go out of their way to avoid 'forumites gatherings'

    Just as I know another whole bunch of people, who really love the community side of being a member and go out of their way to arrange meets etc.

    And there's nothing wrong with either!

    We're all different.. we don't have our personalities automatically changed, when we become a member.

    It really does annoy me is when someone lumps us all together collectively, apart from themselves of course and brands us, as one! ...
    As usual, I think Lory's spot on.

    Personally, I don't either actively search for forum gatherings or avoid them; and, after a few unsuccessful attempts in the past of asking random strangers 'are you on the forum?', I no longer even try and identify if someone's a forumite or not. I just try and be the same with everyone ..., as you would, no?

    I must admit, though, the idea of forum gatherings do scare me. However, not because they consist of forumites, nor because I find forumites particularly cliquey.

    It's just me in any similar social situation - I'm not very good at chit chat with groups of people, and knowing what to say. So after I've said hello, I feel a bit stupid and lost. (So, um, what are your hobbies? Oh, dancing. Right, yes, me too ....)

    But it's not that I don't want to get to know people. Obviously it's fine once you've had a dance with someone and a chance to get to know them a bit ... But that's just me and my own paranoias - I wouldn't dream of blaming anyone else for it.

    Rachel

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    There's lots of players out there. (apparently)

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