uncomfortable eye contact

[Gojive]

You think you lot have got problems with eye contact?...you should try it with wonky eyes! The only time I can make perfect eye contact, is when I'm doing "double trouble"

So if I ever dance with you, and I appear to be looking at you too much, then you're probably just looking at my wonky eye. However, if I appear to be looking round the room and not at you, then you're probably just looking at my wonky eye too

[Trouble]

You think you lot have got problems with eye contact?...you should try it with wonky eyes! The only time I can make perfect eye contact, is when I'm doing "double trouble"

So if I ever dance with you, and I appear to be looking at you too much, then you're probably just looking at my wonky eye. However, if I appear to be looking round the room and not at you, then you're probably just looking at my wonky eye too

awww bless...

[linny lou!]

You think you lot have got problems with eye contact?...you should try it with wonky eyes! The only time I can make perfect eye contact, is when I'm doing "double trouble"

So if I ever dance with you, and I appear to be looking at you too much, then you're probably just looking at my wonky eye. However, if I appear to be looking round the room and not at you, then you're probably just looking at my wonky eye too

awww

[Simon]

Another London lady puts the tip of her tongue out all through the dance, like a child concentrating on a difficult sum. After a minute or so it's the only thing I can think about. AAARRGGHH!

Come on, I saw the famous tongue at Breeze last weekend and it was an integral part of some wonderful dances with said lady (and it's just got to be her! ).

[bigdjiver]

Ok, got that! I think

You definitely got that, coming second only to ZW in the sultry class, (when you are in the mood), amongst the dancers I know.

I love a look of passion, but only once or twice an evening. I tend to respond with "rabbit in the headlights" dancing. It is mostly the ladies with the laughing eyes that make my nights.

[PretzelMeister]

~snip~
OK there are some people who are just shy about making any eye contact at all, ~snip~

[Nessiemonster]

I like Eye contact!!!!! But I don't like staring!!!!!

I Hope that I don't Stare, I try and make eye contact following spins and returns as it helps me to stop getting dizzy I think it also makes for a better dance because the guy has spun you away and then brought you back to him!

Eye contact can be seductive, it can be flirty, it can be fun or it can just be acknowledgement. I think it becomes uncomfortable if both parties do not use the same type of contact.

This is interesting. I'm usually too busy enjoying the dance to worry about my facial expression, but I do make a lot of eye contact. However, I figure I must have a pretty intense look on my face, as many people poke their tongue out at me, or do something to make me laugh. (These are the more confident dancers, who also make eye contact; sometimes it's difficult to get someone to acknowledge you're actually there! )

Because I think it's rude to be looking round the dance floor and not at your partner, I've probably gone a bit over the top!

Makes mental note - must not look so intense and must relax more.

[Barry Shnikov]

Come on, I saw the famous tongue at Breeze last weekend and it was an integral part of some wonderful dances with said lady (and it's just got to be her! ).

Is she in her late fifties/early sixties?

[Lynn]

A dance without eye contact is like a bacon sarnie without ketchup. But I've decided that in most cases the reason for it is shyness or a discomfort with direct gaze.

A lead looking around can also be a sign of good floorcraft. Bright lights and a tall partner can mean I look up at their face and look straight into a light instead so I don't look up as much.

But a partner who never makes eye contact during the dance? I wouldn't ask them again, and although I'd accept a dance with them if asked, I wouldn't especially enjoy it.

I'm not good at eye contact myself - and I'm not sure I could cope with too much, (unless it was one of those dreamy dances when the rest of the room disappears...). And little glances can be enough - but never looking at your partner just seems to me like you are just going through the motions of a dance.

Tango is different, I close my eyes then, there is quite enough connection in the rest of the dance for me to cope with.

Sadly, lack of eye contact does make people seem stand-offish or uninterested but usually we should forgive them. You can always entertain yourself by playing games with them to see if you can induce them to look at you or make weird faces at them, safe in the knowledge that they won't notice 'cos they can't look at you.

Must try that one!

[Lory]

Come on, I saw the famous tongue at Breeze last weekend and it was an integral part of some wonderful dances with said lady (and it's just got to be her! ).

Is she in her late fifties/early sixties?

If it's who I think Simons refurring to, then she's definiely not that old but she does pull the most sultry, intense faces of anyone I know!

[firefly]

Interesting thread. When I first started dancing I found making eye contact quite difficult - even more so than the physical contact. After I'd been dancing for a while I started wanting to reflect the music as opposed to just doing moves with a big cheesy grin on my face and really made a conscious effort to look at my partner.

I think I'm better at it now, but as some other people have said, it can depend on who I'm dancing with and how comfortable I feel with them, and sometimes even on the track that's playing.

I'm usually too busy enjoying the dance to worry about my facial expression, but I do make a lot of eye contact. However, I figure I must have a pretty intense look on my face, as many people poke their tongue out at me, or do something to make me laugh. (These are the more confident dancers, who also make eye contact; sometimes it's difficult to get someone to acknowledge you're actually there! )

Because I think it's rude to be looking round the dance floor and not at your partner, I've probably gone a bit over the top!

Makes mental note - must not look so intense and must relax more.

I do wonder if I might sometimes go too far and be a little too intense with the eye contact. I've had people make faces and stick their tongue out at me too! I usually find myself looking away and looking back during the dance rather than making constant unwavering eye contact. But sometimes the music takes over and I don't realise I'm doing it. But I'd hate to think I was making anyone uncomfortable; I'd rather they just said something - or even stuck their tongue out and made faces!

[Dynamo]

Interesting thread. When I first started dancing I found making eye contact quite difficult - even more so than the physical contact. After I'd been dancing for a while I started wanting to reflect the music as opposed to just doing moves with a big cheesy grin on my face and really made a conscious effort to look at my partner.

I think I'm better at it now, but as some other people have said, it can depend on who I'm dancing with and how comfortable I feel with them, and sometimes even on the track that's playing.

...

Much I agree with

I seem to developed a style where some people I sing the track to my partener, interspaced with a variety of suitable looks or gestures. ( A good friend DJ plays my favourite track where i must amuse much of the room with my antics )

This is often to the more mainstream tracks (not Vortan Project etc ok ) but I can fathom why I do it to certain people or tracks but not others. It always brings a smile though some laugh with me while others laugh at me , but all is ok

This sort of punctuates my eye contact with the mood and content of the track. For the rest they just think i am mad, me i just find them perceptive of me

[Barry Shnikov]

If it's who I think Simons refurring to, then she's definiely not that old but she does pull the most sultry, intense faces of anyone I know!

Sultry and intense my lady is not. She looks - like a dog that has shut its mouth while forgetting to pull its tongue back in first.

[Barry Shnikov]

Much I agree with

I seem to developed a style where some people I sing the track to my partener, interspaced with a variety of suitable looks or gestures. ( A good friend DJ plays my favourite track where i must amuse much of the room with my antics )

This is often to the more mainstream tracks (not Vortan Project etc ok ) but I can fathom why I do it to certain people or tracks but not others. It always brings a smile though some laugh with me while others laugh at me , but all is ok

This sort of punctuates my eye contact with the mood and content of the track. For the rest they just think i am mad, me i just find them perceptive of me

Ooh! Singing along to the song. Ladies find that really attractive - right?

[Dynamo]

Ooh! Singing along to the song. Ladies find that really attractive - right?

well actually some find it real fun
while others i find dificult to jive with, something about holding both hands over their ears sort of hampers my lead

bit of the mood, the person and the song, determins if i do it or not.

at least 1 Lady likes it as I got rep for this one

[Freya]

well actually some find it real fun
while others i find dificult to jive with, something about holding both hands over their ears sort of hampers my lead

[Dazzler]

I find that i do make alot of eye contact with certain people...i must confess i am one the guys who will pull faces or stick his tongue out if i feel my partner is so set on looking back that they forget that the dance is about having fun...having said that i find some music requires a more serious or sometimes sultry look and i myself limit my smiling I think it depends on the mood of the dance!...as for feeling uncomfortable..i tend to be able to hold eye contact with anyone..and if it did bother me i would simply look away!....I also hope that my eye contact is not too intense as to cause my partner any uneasyness!

I must add that i also try to tone down my facial expressions/eye contact with people who have been dancing a very short time....this comes down to not wanting to scare them off....i feel this is somethin that both us men and you ladies should consider when dancing with the beginners!

[TheTramp]

i must confess i am one the guys who will (pull faces or) stick his tongue out

Don't dance with Melb then. She tells me off about this all the time. Especially when doing the showcase!

[CJ]

Eye contact is one of my new things...

At Southport, during one dance that lasted a couple of songs... , we danced to Temptation by Diana Krall. The WHOLE of the intro, first verse, and chorus right up to "I can't resist" was a semi-open 1st move that was stationery, absolutely no motion what-so-ever and just eye contact. doesn't come close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tip:
if eye contact is too much, look away. But look away as if you mean it. Be demure, be avoiding, but do it as if you mean it and not as if you have just panicked inside!!!! Dance is just a 3 minute performance: it's not real life.

[jacksondonut]

Tip:
if eye contact is too much, look away. But look away as if you mean it. Be demure, be avoiding, but do it as if you mean it and not as if you have just panicked inside!!!! Dance is just a 3 minute performance: it's not real life.

Sometimes 3 minutes can seem an awful lot longer.. it depends who you are looking at I guess..

I would find it really easy to look into the eyes of someone I found interesting/attractive and not feel uncomfortable at all... And the opposite of course would apply...!! (*in those cases I tend to sing along!!!)

At the end of the day, I always try to be friendly, regardless.. and hope they do not think that I am completely insane...