uncomfortable eye contact

[PretzelMeister]

Hi Guys. Do any of the women ever look at you on the dance floor in that lecherous way that we usually associate with the men leering at ladies. ~snip~

I wish!

[LemonCake]

I wish!

Oh really!

[Beowulf]

on the subject of eye contact. Last night at the Dundee party when I was dancing.. in particular when I was doing the In and Out (AKA the thinking what to do next move )some of my partners would stare intently. I mean make a point of making eye contact on the IN where some (actually.. the majority) would look "coyly" down to their right on the IN.

is this a style thing? or is it just that some ladies don't like making eye contact in this move? I thought it odd as when i was doing other moves there was no problem with eye contact at any time..

[angelique]

This eye contact thingy...have to say that have since started to learn AT I now find it very hard to remember where I am supposed to be looking!

I find my gaze is now primarily fixed on the man's chest waiting for the lead as you do in Tango in open hold and then I remember I'm at Ceroc!

It gets even moe interesting/ emabarrasing if I find myself being led by another lady!

[jacksondonut]

I just find that the people I know well and am really familiar with, I am naturally more likely to look them in the eye.. (also chat, sing sometimes and generally fool around... )

Other than that I am far more ladylike and try and behave myself impeccably with everyone else... (until I get to know them better of course.. then its all holds barred... )

By the way, Dan.. hope to get a dance with you sometime soon.. have missed you down this end of the country..

[Barry Shnikov]

There was one woman who used to ask me to dance in London; would look at me with big cow eyes all the way through every dance. Disconcerting? I'll tell you about it!

Another London lady puts the tip of her tongue out all through the dance, like a child concentrating on a difficult sum. After a minute or so it's the only thing I can think about. AAARRGGHH!

There is one who looks at me with half closed eyes, and a Mona Lisa smile. I can never figure out what on earth that means. Unless she's always tired when she dances.

NB I'm terrible at looking at my partner. My explanation for this is that it ruins my concentration...

[Gadget]

ClaireS. Sometimes I have to close my eyes just to regain some composure - I end up doing simple moves and repeating 'stock' moves rather than dancing particulary well or creativly to the music. {...wouldn't want it any other way though }

[bigdjiver]

There was a lady at a freestyle who wore trousers with a leopard skin pattern. They had a face design on the front with enormous green eyes on her hips, and the snout ....

The "fun" lesson involved the guy going down on one knee facing the lady. That is what I call uncomfortable eye contact ....

[Jivingdan]

ClaireS. Sometimes I have to close my eyes just to regain some composure - I end up doing simple moves and repeating 'stock' moves rather than dancing particulary well or creativly to the music. {...wouldn't want it any other way though }

With Claire S the eye contact is very welcome . Her eyes are beautiful.

[Trouble]

There is nothing nicer than a dancer who knows just when to give you eye contact. That little look here and there can turn a normal dance into a fantastic dance. i also find it most flattering for a man to give you that little extra attention when leading you. There is nothing worse than a room admirer,, the one who never looks at you but appears to look at everybody else. I hate that . i find it rude it makes me feel as though i have interupted there evening. Do others feel like that or is it me.

[ducasi]

... There is nothing worse than a room admirer,, the one who never looks at you but appears to look at everybody else. I hate that . i find it rude it makes me feel as though i have interupted there evening. Do others feel like that or is it me.

It's not just you. I find it even stranger when it's the girl who's asked me to dance.

A plea to all ladies, even if you can't manage to look at my eyes or face (I'm surely not that hideous?) can you please at least look in my general direction?

[jivecat]

There is nothing worse than a room admirer,, the one who never looks at you but appears to look at everybody else. I hate that . i find it rude it makes me feel as though i have interupted there evening. Do others feel like that or is it me.

A dance without eye contact is like a bacon sarnie without ketchup. But I've decided that in most cases the reason for it is shyness or a discomfort with direct gaze. Sadly, lack of eye contact does make people seem stand-offish or uninterested but usually we should forgive them. You can always entertain yourself by playing games with them to see if you can induce them to look at you or make weird faces at them, safe in the knowledge that they won't notice 'cos they can't look at you.

I don't know how to identify the small percentage of people who really are stuck-up and uninterested - any ideas? Maybe they will have turned you down flat in the first place.

Ducasi, if she's asked you to dance it must mean she wants to dance with you even if she doesn't look at you.

[Dynamo]

A dance without eye contact is like a bacon sarnie without ketchup..... You can always entertain yourself by playing games with them to see if you can induce them to look at you or make weird faces at them.....

Hi Jivecat

Firstly you are always a pleasure to dance with You always make me smile.

I know sometimes I look distracted, thinking of how music goes, that elusive move to fit bit coming up, why didnt i go to sleep when i was tired 5 hours before, My sugars are low and difficult to focus eyes.

Yes I have caught those little looks or faces, you always make me smile as I realise i was distracted Sorry for the times distracted and thanks for catching my attention in such a nice way.

Ducasi, if she's asked you to dance it must mean she wants to dance with you even if she doesn't look at you.

I am with you Jivecat, if she asks you to dance then she wants to dance with you.

Maybe a little shy towards you if she won't give eye contact, but would have wanted to dance with you as she was the asker. I know you and you are not imposing , so dont feel bad about the lack of eye contact. may even mean she likes you a bit more than others but could not say, maybe, but dont quote me there.

[SnowWhite]

A dance without eye contact is like a bacon sarnie without ketchup - jivecat

There is nothing worse than a room admirer,, the one who never looks at you but appears to look at everybody else. I hate that . i find it rude it makes me feel as though i have interupted there evening. Do others feel like that or is it me. - trouble

With Claire S the eye contact is very welcome . Her eyes are beautiful - Jivingdan

Originally Posted by Jivingdan
Hi Guys. Do any of the women ever look at you on the dance floor in that lecherous way that we usually associate with the men leering at ladies.

A plea to all ladies, even if you can't manage to look at my eyes or face (I'm surely not that hideous?) can you please at least look in my general direction? - ducasi

some of my partners would stare intently. I mean make a point of making eye contact on the IN where some (actually.. the majority) would look "coyly" down to their right on the IN. -Beowulf1970


Ok - so, eye-contact...

You want it, as long as we have eyes as beautiful as Claire S and we don't lech like a man....

But, even if we have bog standard, washed out and ugly eyes - we still can't make a perfect bacon sarnie if we're admiring the decor and not the guy...

If we look in on our outs and out on our in's, that may or may not be right...

And even if Ducasi is having an ugly day - he'd still appreciate some eye-contact...

Ok, got that! I think

[jivecat]

Hi Jivecat

Firstly you are always a pleasure to dance with You always make me smile.

Oooh, thanks!

Yes I have caught those little looks or faces, you always make me smile as I realise i was distracted Sorry for the times distracted and thanks for catching my attention in such a nice way.

D*amn! I shouldn't be caught at it. Have to be more subtle next time!

It's not just guys that get distracted, anyway.

[Groovemeister]

I was criticised for not making enough eye contact on Saturday night. Made a effort to change my ways in the next few dances and my efforts were shuned .

Although after that the next few dances a some partners did join in.

Its very difficult to get it right an unwanted look at the wrong time can make people feel very uncomfortable.

[jivecat]

I was criticised for not making enough eye contact on Saturday night. Made a effort to change my ways in the next few dances and my efforts were shuned .

Good effort. I can sometime tell if people have been having a go at certain dance partners because they attempt an occasional glance in
my direction.

Its very difficult to get it right an unwanted look at the wrong time can make people feel very uncomfortable.

Well, only if they're picky, intolerant, difficult to please types. I can't recall an occasion when an "unwanted look" has caused me offence. If I didn't like it I could always stare in the opposite direction, couldn't I? I'd me more likely to be faintly amused if a bloke was getting the eye contact a bit wrong.

[Trouble]

Well, only if they're picky, intolerant, difficult to please types. I can't recall an occasion when an "unwanted look" has caused me offence. If I didn't like it I could always stare in the opposite direction, couldn't I? I'd me more likely to be faintly amused if a bloke was getting the eye contact a bit wrong.

absolutely agree.

[Freya]

I like Eye contact!!!!! But I don't like staring!!!!!

I Hope that I don't Stare, I try and make eye contact following spins and returns as it helps me to stop getting dizzy I think it also makes for a better dance because the guy has spun you away and then brought you back to him!

Eye contact can be seductive, it can be flirty, it can be fun or it can just be acknowledgement. I think it becomes uncomfortable if both parties do not use the same type of contact.

[Princess Fi]

A plea to all ladies, even if you can't manage to look at my eyes or face (I'm surely not that hideous?) can you please at least look in my general direction?

When they are not looking at you, are you doing your Roger Moore eyebrow thing at them (cause I admit I found that funny the first time I saw it!)

()

I think it becomes uncomfortable if both parties do not use the same type of contact

I think its the different types that unnerves most people. OK there are some people who are just shy about making any eye contact at all, but I know I feel really unsettled when I'm faced with a near leering (and strangely never-blinking) stare from a partner that I don't know/feel comfortable with.

By comparison when you have the exact same tone of look facing back at you, its fine. (Maybe its just the feeling of playing on your own turf :shrug