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Thread: Should I or not?

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    Should I or not?

    Hi all,
    Totally new to this, haven't even been to any lessons but I have been thinking about going. Thing is - I am a bloke on his own, looking for something different to do. Quite shy and not that confident - don't know if this could be for me or not.
    Is it worth a try - any other blokes out there been on their own?
    Went along tonight but chickened out at the last moment. Any advice would be appreciated as to what exactly its like!!

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by dc0u View Post
    Hi all,
    Totally new to this, haven't even been to any lessons but I have been thinking about going. Thing is - I am a bloke on his own, looking for something different to do. Quite shy and not that confident - don't know if this could be for me or not.
    Is it worth a try - any other blokes out there been on their own?
    Went along tonight but chickened out at the last moment. Any advice would be appreciated as to what exactly its like!!
    "being given the freedom of the candy store" as someone said to me.

    One of the reasons I am such an advocate of Moden Jive is the way I have seen it transform peoples confidence and enjoyment of life. It might take more than one visit to "get it", but when you do it is a glorious ride.

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by dc0u View Post
    Is it worth a try - any other blokes out there been on their own?
    I started off by going on my own - to this day, I'm not sure what prompted me, as I was utterly petrified of dancing. In a nutshell, it was one of the best decisions I've taken.

    What is it... it's partner dance made accessible and easy to learn, in a friendly environment. I'd say go along - the worst thing that could happen is that you don't like it. There is absolutely no need to bring a partner, and the format of the lessons make sure of this.

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    Re: Should I or not?

    I run classes and teach. I see people exactly like dc0u at our classes. I don't know how many come along and don't pluck up the courage to walk through the door. But many shy people do come in. And those that make it through the door usually love what they find. The lesson format means that you are never put on the spot. From the moment you come in through the door you are looked after. Our new people are asked to wear small flourscent stickers. This means the crew find them and either be their first partner or find them a partner for the beginners lesson. Once you are in the beginners lesson it's all done for you. A teacher shows and tells you how to do the simple moves and, every few minutes we move people around to that you keep getting new partners. You never, ever, have to ask yourself "will he/she say "no" if I ask him/her to dance?". In the lesson you get a new partner "given" to you 20-30 times during the 45 minute lesson as people are moved around.

    We really do find that attending a modern jive class helps make people much more confident in social situations. And, very occasionally, they meet that someone special - but don't go dancing expecting to find a new mate, it doesn't always happen. However, you will always make new friends - but in a nice, slightly shallow, way where nobody expects anything of you apart from "hello" and a friendly smile.
    Last edited by Andy McGregor; 5th-July-2007 at 07:37 AM.

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    Smile Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by dc0u View Post
    Went along tonight but chickened out at the last moment. Any advice would be appreciated as to what exactly it's like!!
    Welcome, dc0u!

    "… what exactly it's like!!"? Well, …

    Almost all blokes (and most girls) go on their own the first time.

    There's a beginners lesson (do not be late for this!) which is about three-quarters dead-easy; and in the lesson, you'll meet most of the girls there (for about a minute each)!

    Then there's a short "freestyle" period in which you can either sit there quivering, or you can ask a few of the girls you've already met to dance. Or just chat to them.

    And, after that, if you didn't get the lesson (and bloke beginners always find it more difficult than girls, because we have to lead, and therefore think!), there's a more-or-less compulsory revision class for you.

    It's quite highly organised up to that point, so being shy isn't really relevant. And there isn't really any time to get worried (confused, yes, worried, no).

    After that is the main freestyle. Now you're free to be shy. Some beginner blokes stay and dance, some stay and chat (and there's a bar), and some go home and recover, and come back next week.

    It's all fun!

    Was there a specific reason why you "chickened out"? Too young, too old, too difficult, too crowded … ?

    Anyway, don't dress too smart! Do wear a clean shirt! Don't worry! And be yourself (or, if that's not a good idea, be someone else )!

    See you there!

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by happygoldfish View Post
    ... And be yourself (or, if that's not a good idea, be someone else )!...
    One of my fave quotes: "If you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else."

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by bigdjiver View Post
    One of my fave quotes: "If you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else."


    welcome to you.....

    go get stuck in, its the best way, if you dont like it, dont go back but im almost positive you will be hooked as bad as the rest of us are. xx

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    Re: Should I or not?

    "Should I or not?"

    Definitely not. You could end up like me. I never have any free time anymore as I'm always out dancing, travelling around the country, meeting lots of friends I never had before. Doesn't a boy deserve a rest now and again?

    Way too much fun for a shy guy like me. OK, so maybe I'm not as shy as I used to be... Dancing can do that to a fellow, but is that a good thing?

    Better give up all thoughts of dancing before you get sucked in to the most addictive fun time you can possibly have!
    Let your mind go and your body will follow. – Steve Martin, LA Story

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    Re: Should I or not?

    not much more to add...

    I went on my own and has boosted my self-confidence (not that I was particularly shy to begin with ), I meet lots of people, I have met some new friends, it keeps me fit, I like the music {}, and it's great fun

    I would advise you to wear something you feel comfortable in, shoes that don't stick too much are advisable as well. And a quick scoosh of sprey & mint before you start will make you a bit more apealing

    The format of the evening is such that you can dip in and out of it as you see fit - you don't need to go every week and you can leave whenever you feel like it... I just never feel like it

    Hope you join in

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Thanks for all the advice. But then again - you'd all say that it's great wouldn't you or you wouldn't be on this forum!

    Definatly gonna give it a go next week, hopefully this time I'll make it past the front doors!

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    Cool Re: Should I or not?

    Hello I'm new to the Forum but I will say that if you'd have asked me 7 weeks ago that I'd be dancing and having a ball, I would have said you were mental!
    It is daunting, for me I'm a big guy (6ft 17stone), shy, ( )very concious of my size, and being the only asian looking chap in a hall I stood out like a sore thumb!
    But everyone was lovely at Kidderminster and at Worcester (Bossa Nova) and I have a great time with a lot of nice people.

    Go for it, get thru the dorrs and you'll love it!

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Stop making excuses and give it a go. What have you got to lose? Lonely nights, few friends, resting and more resting, watching tv? There are those of us that eat sleep and drink dancing, and there are the ones who love to dance socially, no pressure to get better but masters of a fun time on the dance floor! I was lucky and got introduced to a dance teacher and she showed me the light!! I praise anyone who has the courage to give it a go even if you paralysed with fear. You can always ask if it is okay to watch, so there is no pressure. Watch all the smiling faces and laughter between people that have barely met! And you'll soon see that you could fit in no problems! If you need a change in your life then dancing will give you all that you maybe looking to find. Good luck in getting through the doors...............the rest is easy!!

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post


    welcome to you.....

    go get stuck in, its the best way, if you dont like it, dont go back but I'm almost positive you will be hooked as bad as the rest of us are. xx
    .. and Trouble used to by shy?

    I was thinking about this thread and did a survey of our lesson last night (Nigel Anderson, one of the best teachers in the UK, was taking the lesson so I was joining in as a student). I estimated that about half of the people in the hall had come on their own. Some of the people there are still a bit shy in their nature too. But it didn't seem to affect their enjoyment of the night. During the lesson they did exactly the same as everybody else and learnt a routine. During the freestyle some people never got off the floor and some people spent more time chatting. Others seemed to enjoy watching as well as dancing. Nobody seemed out of place or uncomfortable or stood out as awkward or shy.

    My advice is to go along to a class the next night you are free, don't delay, just do it

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by Thetruth View Post
    You can always ask if it is okay to watch, so there is no pressure.
    I did that on my first night - just watched. Joined in the next week, and from then on wondered why I hadn't done something like this before.

    Good luck

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    Unhappy Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by dc0u View Post
    don't know if this could be for me or not.
    Is it worth a try … ? Any advice would be appreciated as to what exactly it's like!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Thetruth View Post
    Stop making excuses and give it a go … Lonely nights, few friends, … There are those of us that eat sleep and drink dancing, … I praise anyone who has the courage … You can always ask if it is okay to watch, … Good luck in getting through the doors...............the rest is easy!!
    dc0u, ignore this!

    You're completely reasonable in being sceptical about whether it's for you. You do not have to take a leap of faith!

    If the advertising is unconvincing, that's Ceroc's fault, not yours!

    You've taken the sensible step of asking what it's like before trying it – much as most people would do before going to a new play or a new restaurant.

    Quote Originally Posted by dc0u View Post
    Thanks for all the advice. But then again - you'd all say that it's great wouldn't you or you wouldn't be on this forum!
    Exactly. Ignore all the encouragement from the addicts . Decide on the facts.

    Definatly gonna give it a go next week … !
    Coool!

    (btw, let us know afterwards what you think, in hindsight, about the advertising!)

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by dc0u View Post
    Hi all,
    Totally new to this, haven't even been to any lessons but I have been thinking about going. Thing is - I am a bloke on his own, looking for something different to do. Quite shy and not that confident - don't know if this could be for me or not.
    Is it worth a try - any other blokes out there been on their own?
    Went along tonight but chickened out at the last moment. Any advice would be appreciated as to what exactly its like!!
    I was in an identical situation to you; a bloke on his own looking for something different to do. I'd never done anything like it previously, but fancied learning something new. I must admit that I was really nervous walking in, but everyone was really friendly. I must admit that I had actually intended to only go for five weeks to learn the basics, but enjoyed it so much.....

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    .. and Trouble used to by shy?


    Actually, I was also shy as hadnt been out for over 4 years (supermarkets dont count). A friend introduced me to Ceroc and I remember taking some rescue remedy just to calm my nerves. I kept going so red as soon as anyone talked to me and wanted to run out. 7 years on I have never looked back. I can dance all over the place and dont need to go along with anyone. Probably one of my best decisions in life

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by bigdjiver View Post
    "being given the freedom of the candy store" as someone said to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by bigdjiver View Post
    It might take more than one visit to "get it", but when you do it is a glorious ride.
    I think your friend put it more tastefully, bigdjiver.

    Seriously though, dc0u, just go for it. Remember, every other person in the room, including the teacher, was just as nervous as you when they started.

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by Missy D View Post
    Actually, I was also shy
    Shy? You? Ms Naked Woman?

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    Re: Should I or not?

    Go for it! I don't think my colleagues would recognise me at dancing at all (I intend to change this shortly by introducing workmates to MJ) -Dancing seems to bring out a completely nutty, addicted and more brave me out of my soul.

    You never know until you go - so go and try it at your local venue.

    Where are you based by the way? You might find a few of us about if we know you are coming.

    I hope you enjoy it

    Cheers
    Whitetiger

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