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Thread: Well Done

  1. #41
    Lovely Moderator ducasi's Avatar
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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    I do see what you mean - it's funny how much difference there is between "That was great" and "You did great", isn't it?

    Even though they're pretty much the same statement ("I think that you did well there, congratulations"), one is seen as congratulatory / encouraging and one is seen as patronising / smug.
    The different between me saying "that was great" and "you were great" is in the expression of *my* feelings.

    Saying "you were great" or "well done", or similar does not say that I enjoyed it at all. It says nothing at all about how I feel.

    If I said "that was great", or any of the other 'acceptable' phrases mentioned on this thread it's because it implies that not only were you good, but I got enjoyment also.

    And while we dance, ultimately, for our own pleasure, it is a disappointment to think that your partner did not enjoy the dance, no matter how great your own performance was.

    In fact, I think it's more important to comment on how you felt about a dance rather than how well your partner did. So, the best phrases are things like "That was great I really enjoyed that." There is an implication that not only did you enjoy yourself, but your partner was responsible in some way.

    What do you all think?
    Let your mind go and your body will follow. Steve Martin, LA Story

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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    Of course it's innate. But that doesn't mean that it can't be learnt. Or that those people who have it innately, can't get better at it with practise.


    He meant, of course, practice.

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    Re: Well Done

    I think my objection to the phrase is based on what I used to read on school tests - "8 out of 10 - Well done!"

    The implication is that there is some sort of effort to achieve something, and that you very nearly got there! Well done!

    However, even having someone say "Well done!" to me would be more welcome than the woman who said, half way through a song: "This isn't working" and walked off!!

    (Some things are relative)

  4. #44
    TiggsTours
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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by ducasi View Post
    The different between me saying "that was great" and "you were great" is in the expression of *my* feelings.

    Saying "you were great" or "well done", or similar does not say that I enjoyed it at all. It says nothing at all about how I feel.

    If I said "that was great", or any of the other 'acceptable' phrases mentioned on this thread it's because it implies that not only were you good, but I got enjoyment also.

    And while we dance, ultimately, for our own pleasure, it is a disappointment to think that your partner did not enjoy the dance, no matter how great your own performance was.

    In fact, I think it's more important to comment on how you felt about a dance rather than how well your partner did. So, the best phrases are things like "That was great – I really enjoyed that." There is an implication that not only did you enjoy yourself, but your partner was responsible in some way.

    What do you all think?
    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Shnikov View Post
    I think my objection to the phrase is based on what I used to read on school tests - "8 out of 10 - Well done!"

    The implication is that there is some sort of effort to achieve something, and that you very nearly got there! Well done!

    However, even having someone say "Well done!" to me would be more welcome than the woman who said, half way through a song: "This isn't working" and walked off!!

    (Some things are relative)


    To all of that. The thing is, that I've been trying to say, is there is a difference in saying "Well done" to someone who is either a beginner, or who you knew as a beginner, and saying it to someone who is quite obviously at least as good a dancer as you, if not better. It would be like me dancing with someone like Ryan Francois, or Gary Boon, or some top Jive teacher who's just won the UK Champs for the umpteenth time in a row, and congratulating them on their ability to lead me round the dance floor for 3 minutes without treading on my toes!

    I will say "Well done" to someone that I've danced with when they have told me they are a beginner, and are very obviously nervous. Although, even then, I don't think I'd say it, I'd say "That was really good" "You're doing really well" "I enjoyed that, thank you" or some other words of encouragement.

    "Well done" really does smack of a nursery school teacher talking to her pupil who's done OK on a test, and could so easily be followed up by "Have a gold star".

    In fact, I'm going to take packs of gold stars dancing with me to Hammersmith next time, and stick one on my chest everytime someone says "well done".

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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by TiggsTours View Post


    To all of that. The thing is, that I've been trying to say, is there is a difference in saying "Well done" to someone who is either a beginner, or who you knew as a beginner, and saying it to someone who is quite obviously at least as good a dancer as you, if not better. It would be like me dancing with someone like Ryan Francois, or Gary Boon, or some top Jive teacher who's just won the UK Champs for the umpteenth time in a row, and congratulating them on their ability to lead me round the dance floor for 3 minutes without treading on my toes!

    I will say "Well done" to someone that I've danced with when they have told me they are a beginner, and are very obviously nervous. Although, even then, I don't think I'd say it, I'd say "That was really good" "You're doing really well" "I enjoyed that, thank you" or some other words of encouragement.

    "Well done" really does smack of a nursery school teacher talking to her pupil who's done OK on a test, and could so easily be followed up by "Have a gold star".

    In fact, I'm going to take packs of gold stars dancing with me to Hammersmith next time, and stick one on my chest everytime someone says "well done".
    Great post.

    have a gold star.

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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by TiggsTours View Post
    "Well done" really does smack of a nursery school teacher talking to her pupil who's done OK on a test, and could so easily be followed up by "Have a gold star".

    In fact, I'm going to take packs of gold stars dancing with me to Hammersmith next time, and stick one on my chest everytime someone says "well done".
    Believe me, the average 6 year old would kill their grandma to get one of those stars.

    I think you needed to be at Bliss this weekend!

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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by TiggsTours View Post
    ...In fact, I'm going to take packs of gold stars dancing with me to Hammersmith next time, and stick one on my chest everytime someone says "well done".
    Your Honour, I was just showing my admiration for her efforts by affixing a gold ....

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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by Ceroc Jock View Post
    Great post.

    have a gold star.


    Well done indeed!

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    Re: Well Done

    you're really labouring that joke now, all of you

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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    I do see what you mean - it's funny how much difference there is between "That was great" and "You did great", isn't it? .
    It entirely depends what is meant by ANY of the statements.

    "That was great" could mean "despite your feeble attempts to follow, I was brilliant and you should be thankful for me even agreeing to dance with you in the first place. It was really great of me wasnt it. I am so magnanimous...... cower before my ego"

    and

    "You did great" could mean "despite my awful lead you were examplary and i love you"

    and

    "well done" could mean "you look a bit like a nice steak, can i chew on your rump?"

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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    you're really labouring that joke now, all of you
    I think so, yes. And the problem is....

  12. #52
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Well Done

    Quote Originally Posted by TiggsTours View Post


    To all of that. The thing is, that I've been trying to say, is there is a difference in saying "Well done" to someone who is either a beginner, or who you knew as a beginner, and saying it to someone who is quite obviously at least as good a dancer as you, if not better.
    And I agree with you. However, I don't believe these comments are meant to be patronising, and I'd just take them as encouragement, rather than anything else.

    It's really not worth getting worked up about (and that's me saying it), when there are so many other examples of dancer rudeness to contend with - e.g. nasty refusals.

    Quote Originally Posted by TiggsTours View Post
    In fact, I'm going to take packs of gold stars dancing with me to Hammersmith next time, and stick one on my chest everytime someone says "well done".
    I'm almost tempted to go back to Hammersmith to see that

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