Have any other ladies out there noticed an irritating new trend amongst our gentlemen friends to finish a dance with the line "Well done"?
Nearly every man I danced with at Hammersmith on Saturday night said this, as if they are congratulating me for "keeping up" with them! How patronising!
If you are a man who says this at the end of a dance, all I can say is, PLEASE DON'T!!!
That's really patronising. I know some of the guys do it to the girls I dance with regularly and they hate it
I usually say 'thanks' with a smile and anything else I can think of!
edit: *** is a 'smaile'... doh
Surely it's better than at least one of the alternatives!
maybe it could come from the same place as people chanting along the moves or 5,6,7,8. They may pick it up from the teacher and they see it nas a compliment.
I personally think its a big insult. Do i look as tho i cant keep up. If you thought that why did you ask me to dance?
If i ask someone to dance and the reply with "i'm only a beginner" or "i have only been dancing X weeks" Then i try to end the dance with a compliment. Eg. That was really good or Have you only been dancing for a few weeks wow . But never Well done! Its just so many types of wrong!
I think I've inadvertantly said a few stupid things at the end of dances before "That could have been better" was probably one of the best - of course it was because I was dancing particularly badly, but as I walked away thought "oh ****, why did I say that".
Ive got a new one though, finish the dance, look into their eyes and say "stunning"
Hmmm, hope it wasn't me.
I'm going to put my hand up and say I have occasionally said this, or something like it. Typically, it's after I've had to persuade a reluctant beginner to dance with me, to reassure her that she was fine, she had nothing to worry about, I enjoyed it etc.
I dunno if I'd say "well done", I might say "That was fine", or something. Maybe that's seen as patronising, I don't care. I'd rather be too patronising than not reassuring enough.
Similarly, I've also said similar things (e.g. "See? Easy!") after leading someone through a difficult move such as the straightjacket - typically to allay the look of terror on the woman's face when she realises I've got both my arms wrapped around her and her arms trapped behind her back.
Again, I think the "reassurance" outweighs the "patronising", but I'd rather patronise than not reassure.
One thing about this forum, and I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while now... I've not been registered on the forum for that long, but what I've found out since starting in June is: on the one hand it's very encouraging and informative, and people have been very helpful to me personally, which is sweet. On the other hand it's like a fast track to Paranoia...
Since coming on here I've discovered:
1. I'm from the Midlands, therefore all I do is bounce. And God forbid I take big steps....
2. Floorcraft. Never heard of it till I came on here; "floorcraft" is apparently most notable for its absence amongst "inconsiderate" dancers, most particulary in the Blues Room at Southport. At least I can blame that one on the lead.
3. Etiquette. Doesn't matter what you say or what you do, someone will get offended by it. I've probably broken all the rules of dance etiquette at one time or another, but, hey, I'm a nice person - really - and no offence was intended.
Yes, it does sound like a patronising comment, but I suspect that it was probably intended in the way DJ described, i.e. someone, for whatever reason, trying to be nice?
Last edited by TiggsTours; 25th-September-2006 at 02:41 PM.
I wonder if it was the feller Northdants Girly danced with last year?
I think 'patronising' can be as much how someone hears a comment as how it is meant. If someone means to be patronising, then that's their problem really. If someone is meaning to be encouraging, and the recipient feels patronised, then that can say more about their own attitude than anything else. (Eg that they actually aren't that confident.)
I would tend to think that the person meant a compliment/encouragement and take it as such. (Even if its from someone who has been dancing only about 3 weeks, I just smile to myself.)
Last edited by Lynn; 25th-September-2006 at 03:31 PM.
I agree, and the first time it happened, even the second, I just smiled to myself and thought it a shame they couldn't express themselves better. The third time I thought, hmm, that's odd, the fourth time I started to become really intrigued, and after that I started to wonder if there is some sort of inner movement within Ceroc that has started to teach all these guys that this is the right terminology to use at the end of a dance!
I just think that we all need to work together to nip this one in the bud quickly!
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