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Reply With QuoteOriginally Posted by KatieR
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He aint worth bothering with then!
Dont go to dinner with his mates as you say you hardly know him
IF he wants to see you again on his own then fine but as a 'add on' to a mates thing naaa
forget all the comitment and other stuff going on re work etc
If he is into you he will see you again on his own (pg 29 i think ?)
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Tell me how the mates thing went
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He aint worth bothering with then!
Different perspective.....
Say I'm heading off for a while and my mates are throwing me a going away party. It occurs to me this is a nice gentle excuse to bring along this girl I like and spend time with her as I'm not going to see her for ages and don't have the time to do anything else. If I'm shy, it's comforting to know I've got my mates there for moral support.
This isn't something I've done with a lady I don't know well, but I've certainly been brought along to parties as the "boyfriend" where I didn't know any of her friends.
Cautious is good. Trust your instincts. But in this instance, I'd consider going and making sure someone knows you're there - you can arrange to get them to call you, say after an hour to give you an excuse to bail / check you're ok.
Good luck whatever you do
Christopher
Talking as a mum.... (sorry!)
Just say No, but perhaps we can do something else when you're back?
That way you'll gauge his interest, and still be safe...
Good luck girl
Sara
Then I'd meet her in advance, and go together.
By the way, I think we're going overboard on this "safety" aspect. Not every Australian man that invites a girl to a party is a rapist. (In fact I'm pretty sure that the majority of them aren't.)
There are many reasons why he may not have answered his phone. Try once more or send a text. I'm with ghost on this one, but then i have a very trusting nature (some may say, gullible!) Go with your instincts, if you're uncomfortable about it all and not all that bothered about seeing this guy, then give it a miss.
I dont think Im worried about him being a rapist or anything, safety is an aspect, but my concern was that he didn't seem to think that the situation may be uncomfortable for me and that it might make me feel more at ease meeting him first. I was a bit taken aback that the thought didn't initially cross his mind. But hey, there go my high expectations again !! No wonder Im still single
A bit, but not much - "subs bench" level, probably. He clearly isn't that interested.
No, and it does seem a bit weird. Not unsafe, but just not exactly an intense expression of devotion. Subs bench, again.
Almost certainly not - boys don't really think that way.
He won't mind - again, he clearly isn't that interested.
Always listen to your instincts. They're usually right.
He's a male, ***, don't fool yourself that he'll think ahead about such things!
Just read this, well maybe ESG is really a girl!
Last edited by Cruella; 25th-September-2006 at 01:03 PM.
Depends how he thinks really. Assuming he has some really nice mates, it might not cross his mind that you wouldn't enjoy yourself. On the whole, the more tired / busy I am, the less I think
The phone call after an hour lets you bail if you're simply not enjoying yourself.
Plus the fact that you're still considering this seems to me that you do want to go.
Katie asked for the advice of the guys here. Can I just ask how many of you would really go on one date with a girl in two months and seriously be interested in being more than friends with her? Not return texts/calls? Get real Katie – he’s not interested in being more than friends with you.
And if he was, do you really want someone so unenthusiastic? Someone so insensitive to your needs/feelings that he’d suggest inviting you to this do and letting you go on your own? I’m not saying he’s wrong to do that (some women might be fine with that suggestion) – but he’s clearly not thoughtful enough for you.
It sounds as if you need someone different. So go out there and find someone who will really make an effort for you and make you feel special in a way that this guy isn’t – someone (sorry for the cliché) who deserves you.
Sorry to be blunt, but thought I ought to say what I can hear. No point in pussyfooting around.
My guess is that choice 1 was not available. Sorry.
Except that if I wanted to be 'just friends' with someone, I'd pay them more attention than you describe here
Back in my single days - if I was interested in someone, they'd know it. Fail to return a call or reply to a text? No way Jose....
Dont be sorry, I had the same feeling but I wanted a guys opinion as well. Having not been on a date in nearly two years, you kinda start clutching at straws if you know what I mean.Katie asked for the advice of the guys here. Can I just ask how many of you would really go on one date with a girl in two months and seriously be interested in being more than friends with her? Not return texts/calls? Get real Katie – he’s not interested in being more than friends with you.
And if he was, do you really want someone so unenthusiastic? Someone so insensitive to your needs/feelings that he’d suggest inviting you to this do and letting you go on your own? I’m not saying he’s wrong to do that (some women might be fine with that suggestion) – but he’s clearly not thoughtful enough for you.
Sorry to be blunt, but thought I ought to say what I can hear. No point in pussyfooting around.
Bluntly, he doesn't fancy you much.
He probably does a bit, but not enough to bother communicating with you much. One of the benefits of living in the 21st Century is that there's no excuse to be out-of-contact, pretty much anywhere or at anytime. If the British Army can be sending emails whilst being continuously attacked by the Taleban in the wilds of Southern Afghanistan, what's his excuse?
I know exactly what you mean!
It is a cliche, but it's true - there are plenty of other fish in the sea.... ones that will be properly interested and appreciate you.
Put it down to experience and gradually ease yourself back into the dating scene - 2 or 3 dates down the line you'll be wondering what you were fussing about. I've really only been 'dating' properly the last 12 months or so and I look back at stuff I did 9 months ago and wondered what the hell I was doing!!
Good luck
Its easy enough to say 'put yourself back in the dating scene' ... I never left it (except when I was with someone) its actually getting the dates... someone has to like you first before you will get one.It is a cliche, but it's true - there are plenty of other fish in the sea.... ones that will be properly interested and appreciate you.
Put it down to experience and gradually ease yourself back into the dating scene - 2 or 3 dates down the line you'll be wondering what you were fussing about. I've really only been 'dating' properly the last 12 months or so and I look back at stuff I did 9 months ago and wondered what the hell I was doing!!
Good luck
Of course people will like you!!
Have you tried the alternative routes such as speed dating or online dating?
I agree, but I'd also insist on going WITH him, not meeting him there!
What happens if he simply gets stuck in traffic, or the tube isn't running, or he's just late, for unforseen circumstances? I'd hate to turn up to a party where I know absolutely nobody, not even the host, because I'm supposed to be meeting someone there! If someone invites me to a party with them, then I don't think it is at all unreasonable to actually go WITH them!
And I really don't think that is anywhere near a good enough excuse to not have to common decency to go meet someone you have invited out for the evening and go together! Even I have never met a man who is that inconsiderate, and if I did, it would be the last time I met them!
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