I have encountered a situation where I would like a guys perspective on a particular behaviour...
Let me set up the scenario:
Girl meets boy, have been on 1 date since meeting 8 weeks ago as boy been interstate lots for work.
Girl tries to contact boy (once) but boy does not reply to message.
Two weeks later, boy phones up asking her to come to a friend of his' house to have some dinner and drinks with him and his friends before leaving for a month in WA.
Girl has not met any of boy's friends and doesn't know him well.
Here are my questions:
Is boy interested in girl?
As a boy, do you ask a girl out you dont know very well to your friends place to catch up with you and your friends before going away?
Or is this perhaps a way to say, I like you but as a friend only?
AND what are the repercussions if girl doesn't go? (due to illness or other perfectly legitimate reason, say not feeling 100% comfortable going to an unknown house with unknown people - or is girl just being chicken?)
Im opening up the phone lines ... what do you think?
(NB Ive also asked this on the Aussie Forum but was curious to know what the opinion was from the other side of the world)
Don't ever try to work out what someone is thinking by asking someone else! They'll nearly always be wrong.
Maybe he likes you, but as he's obviously not going to be around much, doesn't want to start stringing you along. Maybe its something totally different.
Maybe you should just go for dinner with him at his mates, have a fabulously fun evening, make some new friends, not stress yourself out about it, then take the opportunity afterwards to ask him what it is he wants.
He wants to see you. If you don't go you may never find out why.
If the evening isn't going well you can still make your excuses and leave.
Let your mind go and your body will follow. – Steve Martin, LA Story
They might be gang rapists or just boring twerps. (Look on the bright side. ) You need to find out first. As regards Boy: he didn't return your call, and if he was so busy he didn't have time to see you as well as his mates he would be better off keeping in touch with you by phone. Yeah, you could ask him what his feelings are towards you, but that seems a bit heavy after one date, so....by their deeds you shall know them! If he really, really wanted to get to know you he would be seeing you instead of his mates. You could try keeping in touch by text or whatever but if he doesn't meet you halfway I'd move on. NEXT!
I hadn't realised he meant to meet you there! In that case, I'd definitely say no!
I was thinking that maybe its the last opportunity he has to see his friends before he goes away, but he also would really like to see you, so he's invited you along, but if he can't even be bothered to come and pick you up to go there, and make sure you are at ease before spending the evening with strangers, and ensure he has some quality time with you on your own before seeing his friends, then I'd say its really not worth the effort!
I figure it's up to the person doing the asking to come up with a suggestion that sufficiently interests me that I'd want to go. An evening with someone's mates is about as interesting (to me) as a three-week rotting kipper, so I'd have no hesitation in saying no. I still wouldn't try to interpret what his "feelings" are (he's a bloke, he probably hasn't got any) though.
Sometimes Im not quite sure if my instincts are right, so I appreciate the confirmation that Im not chicken!
I haven't been out dating since my ex nearly 2 years ago so dont know what is right and what is perhaps a little bit wrong. I would have at least liked him to meet me before hand or something.
Ding!
Does seem rather odd that 1) he doesn't want to see you alone (god if I was on a date with someone, I'd never want my mates there! I want to give that person my full, undivided attention) and 2) wants to meet you there. I wouldn't feel comfortable in that situation.
As El Salsero says, it's near on impossible to know what someone is thinking without asking that person. Whenever I need some advice with what to do with a girl, I ask a girl friend or a few girl friends and sometimes getting a bewildering array of answers!
What ever happened to communication? Phone him and ask if he'd mind picking you up, as you feel uncomfortable about turning up at a strangers house. Maybe he would like to get to know you as a mate before deciding if it'll lead anywhere. Sounds reasonable to me. Talk to him, it's the only way of putting things in perspective.
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