Dice Dancing - it's a dangerous game...

[Get a grip]

Dice Dancing - it's a dangerous game...

I've decided not to post any more inflammatory critiques as many of you can't differentiate between rational discussion and debate and personal emotional reaction. This thread therefore is just a bit of fun, although it does have a serious angle in that I believe we should all step out of our comfort zone occasionally - there's nothing like the feeling of adrenalin throbbing through your veins...

This thread is based on a concept brought to the mainstream by Luke Rhinehart in the 70's in his book The Dice Man. Some have called this the best book of the last century - I think that's overstating it a little, although it certainly has major cult status and at times is both hilarious and thought provoking.

Rhinehart's character is a bored psychologist locked in the humdrum of middle America who one night decides to change his life by deciding to only make key decisions based on the outcome of the throw of a dice. On this basis what he does is assign a decision to a dice number and act accordingly once the dice has been thrown. Where this concept transcends the mundane is that as a proviso at least one number on the dice must correspond to an action that you would really rather not undertake - that's where we add spice to the deal. In the book, 'his' dice decides that he should rape his neighbour, leave his family, become a homosexual etc. etc - so, serious stuff.

There are some deep philosophical debates linked to the concept of 'dice decision's' which I'm not suggesting we get into here - but broadly speaking the idea that we allow the Universe to take control of our destiny by essentially 'controlling' the outcome of the roll of a dice is part of it - although, as it is the the throwee that determines the choices in the first place, it's easy to see how we could then get into a debate on freewill V's determinism. In any event, it is a great read and one that will have you laughing out loud, so worth a look.

Having given you some background you will understand how we can have some fun with it if we apply it to our dancing. To start you off I have compiled two potential dice dancing lists: one that is, uncharacteristically, sensible (the dice made me do it...) and one that is closer to my heart in that it is more than a little politically incorrect.

Captain Sensible (not too challenging, but challenging enough as there are still things here that you would probably rather not do..)

Throw a 1: Take a video camera to your usual venue and get a friend to video you dancing to different styles of music and with different partners. Pro: (there is no such thing as a 'con' in my mind..) This gets right down to the heart of a subject touched on by Adam last week - that is, do you want to dance JUST to dance and enjoy yourself or do you want to dance to improve your dancing and dancing style? If it's the former, then whatever you do DON'T video yourself dancing - it could put you off for life! If it's the latter, there is no better, simple and more accessible way to improve your dance style than videoing yourself. Immediately, you will see how others see you and will also be able to pick up on what you do well and what you do badly. This will show you that there is a big difference between a move feeling good and a move looking good.

Throw a 2: Go back to being a beginner for 1 month. Go to at least 2 classes a week and ONLY dance beginners moves during this timescale. Pro: Your dancing should improve significantly. Most people forget that the basics are the foundation of everything we do and re-learning them is time well spent. You should concentrate on the moves and try to stylize them as best you can. A by product of this is that you will also help real beginners to learn as there are not enough experienced dancers in beginners classes as a reference point. (Unlike WCS, as pointed out in a post last week, where many experienced dancers still do attend the beginners class).

Throw a 3: Spend the evening dancing as your dance idol. Pro: Visualization techniques are known as a fundamental way of improving your style and technique and are used in many disciplines - this means that they can of course be very helpful in dancing. Spend some time watching someone who you respect dance - take note of their posture, their foot patterns, their body movement and their lead style. With this in mind you should then try and dance like them for the rest of the evening. Warning: This does not mean that you should try to dress like them too! Resist the temptation to wear a beret or a hat... nuff said.

Throw a 4: Pack in MJ for 6 months and immerse yourself in a new dance style: Pro: We all hate the idea of being a beginner again but it is good for the soul and is also very humbling (some of you take note...) The other advantages are obvious: you will not only learn new moves and styles to add to your MJ repertoire but will also expand your social circle.

Throw a 5: Spend the evening leading moves with just the left hand, then the right and then double handed. Pro: We all get lazy when we dance and very quickly adopt a pattern of dancing in sequences where one move triggers another. This means that you can get bored with your dancing and by definition that also means you'll be boring your partners. Concentrating on leading an entire dance with just one hand, then another with the other hand and again just double handed, will help you to create different sequences when you go back to dancing freely again and will also eek out some moves that were hidden in your muscle memory - it's also much more difficult than you think.

Throw a 6: Don't go dancing - instead stay in and spend the evening phoning all the family and friends you haven't spoken to in ages. Pro: It will make you feel good about yourself and will also remind you of why certain people are so important to you.



Captain Ridiculous ( These dice options are for those people who have balls that are so enormous that they have to carry them around in a wheelbarrow - sorry, don't know what the female equivalent would be...) Needless to say they should be carried out at venues where you don't usually dance and also should NOT be taken too seriously...


Throw a 1: Johnny fart pants. Attach a whoopee cushion to your stomach before entering the blues room. When you pull your partner in close the concealed bladder will emit a satisfyingly loud guffing sound which you should follow with a comment such as 'Thanks, I really needed that...' Pro: If you suffer from excess wind this is a great way of relieving yourself without causing too much offence.

Throw a 2: Blind man's bluff. Pretend your blind for the evening. Method: kidnap your neighbour's Labrador and at the same time take the opportunity of liberating a bra from her washing line. Next, attach the bra to the dog along with a handle fashioned from two stretched out wire coat hangers taped together with gaffer tape and also pull the aerial off your radio and paint it white. Then, find some sunglasses and dress in as may bright colours as possible. At the venue explain your situation to the venue manager and position yourself in a prominent place next to the dance floor. Pro: You'll get some great sympathy dances, you'll be able to trip up any annoying individuals as they pass by and also get the the chance to stare at your partners chest with no come-back. If no-one asks you to dance, as Labradors will basically shag anything that moves, you could always set the dog free and watch as it creates havoc on the dance floor.

Throw a 3: Sleeping on the job. Go to new venue and explain to the venue manager that you suffer from narcolepsy. Wear an oversized foam bicycle helmet along with a set of knee and elbow pads and proceed to ask as many people to dance as possible. If you're bored during the dance, or if a duff track comes on, drop to your knees and then keel over and 'sleep' for the rest of the track. Pro: gets you out of dancing with numb nuts and helps to send a very clear message to the Dj about the standard of his/her music.

Throw a 4: The Sex Maniacs ball. Purchase the most lifelike blow up doll you can and take her/him as your guest to a new venue - just explain to the venue manager that she is just a little shy and you should be able to blag yourself onto the dance floor. Once there you can perform some stunning aerial routines (those extra holes provide an excellent hand hold) which will amaze your fellow dancers. To add to the effect you should sit out the occasional dance and engage your partner in conversation whilst feeding her/him chocolates and alcoholic beverages. Finally, at the end of the evening, strip her/him naked and leave the venue arm in arm whilst whistling 'Blueberry Hill'.

Throw a 5: The Dance Expert. Adopt a dance style you cannot do and proceed to 'teach' your dance partners some new moves and the essence and philosophy of the dance style itself. For example, pretend that you are a lindy 'expert'. This will allow you to jump up and down on the spot, walk backwards and forewords in an annoying manner and to throw your partner upwards and/or around and around in circles until they are sick all over you. Pro: people will start to look up to you and will seek your counsel on all matters relating to dance and fashionable dressing.

Throw a 6: Tell it like it is. Pretend that you have tourettes syndrome for the evening (also called GAG syndrome...). Attend a new venue and explain your 'problem' to both the venue manager and teacher - to be convincing it would be necessary to have a couple of minor, albeit subdued, 'episodes'. Once your in the venue position yourself at the front of the class and wait until about half way through before letting rip. As the teacher is explaining the next move, tilt your head back and shout at the the top of your voice 'BIG T*I*TS!! or K*NOB JOCKEY!! and then continue as if nothing has happened whilst politely smiling at your partner (you can do this to the Dj too). Note: It's best to do this in tandem with a straight man/woman who can also circulate through the class explaining the problem as they go. Pro: The most liberating thing you can do - you get the chance to say exactly what you've also wanted to say with no come backs at all (bit like posting anonymously on the forum...)

So there you have it, the sublime and the ridiculous. There's loads of room in between for your own suggestions and I would love to here them. I'll also be taking some dice to Southport if anyone is interested?

Important note: I really shouldn't have to say this, but I will... I of course understand that blindness, narcolepsy and tourettes syndrome are serious and debilitating illnesses that sufferers have no control over. However, that does not mean that we should not explore the humour that are attached to these afflictions - which of course is in the greatest traditions of comedy the World over (See Becker, Open all Hours, the Office etc. etc.) Humour helps to bring barriers down and helps to bring serious problems and society's handling of them to a wider audience. On this basis this post is simply intended to get you imagining how people would react in the given situations. How you, or your colleagues would react tells you something about you/them that is maybe worth thinking about on another level...

[Lory]

I'm positive there's a few guys out there, already playing this game!

[Cruella]

As Witty would say LMFAO!

Throw a 4: The Sex Maniacs ball. Purchase the most lifelike blow up doll you can and take her/him as your guest to a new venue - just explain to the venue manager that she is just a little shy and you should be able to blag yourself onto the dance floor. Once there you can perform some stunning aerial routines (those extra holes provide an excellent hand hold) which will amaze your fellow dancers. To add to the effect you should sit out the occasional dance and engage your partner in conversation whilst feeding her/him chocolates and alcoholic beverages. Finally, at the end of the evening, strip her/him naked and leave the venue arm in arm whilst whistling 'Blueberry Hill'.

I guess you weren't at Southport in June then.

[WittyBird]

I'm positive there's a few guys out there, already playing this game!

Nah, nobody would be that stupid surely

As Witty would say LMFAO!

Yes indeedy LMFAO

[Cruella]

Nah, nobody would be that stupid surely

[Cruella]

I reckon Witty, Lory and I are the only ones that haven't put you on our ignore list GaG. So i don't see this thread lasting very long i'm afraid.

[Get a grip]

I reckon Witty, Lory and I are the only ones that haven't put you on our ignore list GaG. So i don't see this thread lasting very long i'm afraid.

Just as long as the important people on the forum get to read it that's all the matters...

[Alice]

Just as long as the important people on the forum get to read it that's all the matters...

I read it...

I really liked the sensible suggestions - all very useful ideas that would definitely improve your dancing, while all having that little element of scariness

[fletch]

Just as long as the important people on the forum get to read it that's all the matters...

I read it...

I read it as well

It all seem a bit to complicated and hard work, I think I will just stick to jigging about with anyone who will dance with me

[Yogi_Bear]

The Captain Sensible part is extremely good advice. I didn't read the rest.

[TheTramp]

I read it as well

I read it as well. So we know it can't just be the important people!

[Dreadful Scathe]

I think i may try the whole list

[fletch]

I read it as well. So we know it can't just be the important people!

Speek for yourself

I'm the most important thing in my world

[Get a grip]

The Captain Sensible part is extremely good advice. I didn't read the rest.

That's a good idea - so I read your first sentence and then ignored the second one..

[Get a grip]

I read it as well. So we know it can't just be the important people!

Nice new avatar Tramp, hope you're going to keep it up..

Nice also to see that you have a sense of humour, although I should've guessed that from the way that you dance.

[Get a grip]

I think i may try the whole list

I would pay money to see that..

You could also combine some of the suggestions on the CR list: so for example 1 & 4 would work well, as would combining 2,3 and 6 into every venue managers worst nightmare!

[whitetiger1518]

I would love to be able to dance as well as some of my dance idols!!! :

I think some of the guys I regularly dance with dance with me as (the sensible) 5 tells you to - I think they have worked out that I I have a better grip in my left hand and am left handed anyway, so I am a wiling victim for left hand moves - especially as they put up with my lack of grip in my right hand for general dancing

Whitetiger

[Beowulf]

* shudder *

I'm having 'Luke Rhinehart' flashbacks all over again.. Sorry , read the Dice Man ages ago and took to carrying a dice for a while.. oh the things it made me do.. .. twisted sordid things.. like having SUGAR in my coffee .. oh the shame the shame..

[AllanMcC]

carrying a dice for a while..

Oh great, a chance to show my pedantic side.
I'd just like to point out that the singular of dice is die.

[Yogi_Bear]

That's a good idea - so I read your first sentence and then ignored the second one..

Great. I read the first four words of your mesaage and ignored the rest (this could go on).