Guys, do you ask guys to dance?

[straycat]

Since we're having fun with the other two polls, I thought a slightly different slant might be nice...

[under par]

I can'y follow so it is as a leader I have danced with a few men.

Johnah

Tramp

Kev F

Captain Fantastic

Andy Mcgregor

to name a few I can recall just now

[Beowulf]

only if I need to Ask Gadget to go over a move or something..

[robd]

Trampy asked me to lead him once.

I asked him at a subsequent event.

I also asked jammy when he was here recently (why should the ladies get all the fun??)

That's about the extent of it. Not something I go out of my way to do. I suspect a more dynamic style than mine would be better suited to guy-guy dancing.

[straycat]

I can'y follow so it is as a leader I have danced with a few men.

I can follow MJ, but not particularly well. It's a fun exercise though...

Two guys dancing seems to attract some very odd looks in some venues. Especially with blues.

Considering that I'm toying with the idea of doing a few beginners lindy classes as a follower, I do wonder if this might scare off some newcomer men, and hence not be completely welcomed by the organisers...

How have other men on here approached the whole learning-to-follow issue?

[ducasi]

About a year ago I had a wee go at learning to follow. At that time I was led by a couple of guys, but I mainly practiced with a girl who was learning to lead. I was hopeless at it, and quickly gave up.

Since then I can only recall one occasion when I danced with a guy who asked me to lead him.

It's not something I would choose to do normally.

[robd]

How have other men on here approached the whole learning-to-follow issue?

Chef posted some very good stuff on his experiences and the difficulties he encountered a while back - shouldn't be too tricky to search out.

Some men who lead and follow say they prefer being lead by men (not wishing to denigrate the many fine female leads out there) because they feel the lead is firmer (and perhaps their following is less 'sensitive' than the ladies who usually follow the female leaders?)

I've followed a couple of girls (until they took out an injunction) but it didn't work particularly well. the only person who's ever lead me that I felt like they knew what they were doing was MsFab but I don't wish to ask her or, say, Sparkles to dance with me as leaders because they are forced to do enough of that with other ladies due to the usual gender imbalance.

I wouldn't ever try to follow in a standard Ceroc class - I think, rightly or wrongly, it would make too many of the other men uncomfortable.

Robert

[Andreas]

My following in MJ is rather poor, as ESG can vouch for. Though, I do enjoy dancing as a follower in Latin dances, including Salsa. It provides an opportunity to chill a bit and play more

[Gadget]

I've danced with a few men, but always as a lead: I can't follow particularly well and tend to steal control back if I'm led.
I have found that male followers tend to be a lot "heavier" in the connection and more determined to do their own thing (or what they think is being led) rather than following. {This same trait I find to a lesser extent in some followers who lead all the time}

[killingtime]

Since then I can only recall one occasion when I danced with a guy who asked me to lead him.

I shall have to ask you more then . I find following is useful for lots of reasons. You learn about what leads work and what don't. You can steal moves, ideas and style from the guys you are following.

As a rubbish follower (hopefully getting better though) I think I need a really strong lead to guide me around the floor. There are a lot of women that are great leads but sometimes I find guys better at leading me through my oblivious following. Dancing with the likes of Trampy is not an experience I'd soon forget.

[Jivingdan]

I have only ever danced with men very occcasionally and usually just to give the girls at the venue a laugh. By the way ignore my comments in the girls do you ask the men to dance because I hadn't seen that this thread had been started

[ducasi]

I shall have to ask you more then . I find following is useful for lots of reasons. You learn about what leads work and what don't. You can steal moves, ideas and style from the guys you are following.

I don't know... Shouldn't you be able to tell from dancing as a leader which of your leads work well and which don't?

And wouldn't you be able to pick up these points easier just be watching a guy dance, rather than having to try and follow him at the same time?

[under par]

I shall have to ask you more then . I find following is useful for lots of reasons. You learn about what leads work and what don't. You can steal moves, ideas and style from the guys you are following.

As a rubbish follower (hopefully getting better though) I think I need a really strong lead to guide me around the floor. There are a lot of women that are great leads but sometimes I find guys better at leading me through my oblivious following. Dancing with the likes of Trampy is not an experience I'd soon forget.

If I see you at the Scottish Champs I'll lead you around the room and Ducasi too if you are up for it.! Though not together can't do dt.

[Lynn]

If I see you at the Scottish Champs I'll lead you around the room and Ducasi too if you are up for it.! Though not together can't do dt.

I think I recall you leading Trampy and Andy McG in DT...

[MartinHarper]

To answer the question, if I see a guy I know will happilly dance with me, I'll always aim to get a dance or two out of him over the evening. Regretfully my name/face recognition is abysmal, and I tend to forget who these people are all too quickly.

Sadly, I rarely ask strange guys to dance, largely because the refusal rate is so high, and partly because some of the ones who say no take so darn long to say it. (rant starts) If you think guys have cooties, a simple "no" will suffice. I don't want to hear your feeble attempts at cross-gender comedy, nor do I want to repeat my question five times while your tiny little mind wraps itself around the idea. (rant ends)

I guess I need to practice asking guys to dance gracefully and speedilly. Ho hum.

I wouldn't ever try to follow in a standard Ceroc class - I think, rightly or wrongly, it would make too many of the other men uncomfortable.

I get far fewer refusals in an intermediate class than in freestyle, on the rare occasions I've been allowed to (or done it surreptitiously). Shorter timespan, I guess.

Shouldn't you be able to tell from dancing as a leader which of your leads work well and which don't?

As a leader I can tell which of my leads work and which don't. However, as a follower I can tell which of everyone's leads work best. If I'm looking to make a lead that already works, work even better, following provides information about things I can change to achieve that. You can get the same results in other ways, but following does help, and in a way that complements practicing leading.

wouldn't you be able to pick up these points easier just be watching a guy dance, rather than having to try and follow him at the same time?

As a follower you have to pay lots of attention to the guy's lead for the dance to work, so that's very compatible with learning stuff about leading. Also, you get much more information about a lead from feeling it that seeing it. I can tell from watching a guy that he's touching his partner, but very little about the subtle forces he is applying through that touch.
For leader-styling, I think you can learn more from watching, for the reasons you mention. From following you can get some idea about those effects of a piece of leader-styling on the follower, which is good to know.

I started following as a way of improving my lead. Then I discovered how much I love following, and nowadays I follow because it's excessively good fun.

[TheTramp]

All the time!

[Lee]

Since we're having fun with the other two polls, I thought a slightly different slant might be nice...

I selected 'hardly ever', due to the fact I'm not aware any guys want to or can follow. I've tried to dance with Spice & Easy, but I'm much rather use the time dancing with a lady follower. (no offence R, but you've got massive hands hehe)


Lee

[Baruch]

I sometimes ask other guys to dance, but most of them don't seem to be in favour of the idea.

I'm happy to lead, follow or swap around, but I freely admit I'm not the world's best at following. If my partner gives me a strong lead I'm OK, though.

[Cruella]

I selected 'hardly ever', due to the fact I'm not aware any guys want to or can follow. I've tried to dance with Spice & Easy, but I'm much rather use the time dancing with a lady follower. (no offence R, but you've got massive hands hehe)


Lee

He followed me beautifully at Ashtons last night. Although i really could have done without it when i visited the ladies room.
(No comments please about me not being a lady!)

[Spice 'n' Easy]

He followed me beautifully at Ashtons last night. Although i really could have done without it when i visited the ladies room.

Sorry about that. Really much pay more attention to where i'm going in future