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Thread: Asking elite dancers to dance?

  1. #61
    Registered User littlewiggle's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by SilverFox View Post
    Are we back to the "Sex or Chocolate" discussion again?...
    Nope she said 'ego' not 'aero'!!!

  2. #62
    Registered User SilverFox's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by littlewiggle View Post
    Hiya - I saw you come in and thought I'd ask you to dance a bit later on but you eluded me all night!!! You better run fast next time........
    If you are who I think you are, I might just let you catch me....

  3. #63
    Dickie Davies' love-child Cruella's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by SilverFox View Post
    Are we back to the "Sex or Chocolate" discussion again?...
    Your just sore cos i wouldn't give you my 2 fingers last night!

  4. #64
    Registered User littlewiggle's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by SilverFox View Post
    If you are who I think you are, I might just let you catch me....
    Well from what I hear - that is a compliment indeed! There was nothing stopping you asking me.............!!!

  5. #65
    Dickie Davies' love-child Cruella's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by littlewiggle View Post
    Well from what I hear - that is a compliment indeed! There was nothing stopping you asking me.............!!!
    Foxes are pretty good at sniffing out fresh meat. You'll be on the rota soon i'm sure.

  6. #66
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by SilverFox View Post
    If you are who I think you are, I might just let you catch me....

    Ho no not ANOTHER b$atch to the Fox's harem

    Yes I know I have probably spelt it wrong, but spell check wont get this


    Quote Originally Posted by littlewiggle View Post
    Well from what I hear - that is a compliment indeed! There was nothing stopping you asking me.............!!!
    mmmm she's right Foxy

    Littlewiggle just be careful, the Fox is renowned for refusing, or is that just me



  7. #67
    The Gobby one! WittyBird's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    yerrrr its that Wittybird you need to watch she is the scary one
    Oh Gosh, I haven't laughed so much in ages

  8. #68
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    But it's small inside, where would you put your ego?
    I'm sure you have somewhere, Di, big enough to hold his ego!!

  9. #69
    The Gobby one! WittyBird's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ceroc Jock View Post
    I'm sure you have somewhere, Di, big enough to hold his ego!!
    Mouth

  10. #70
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    Whilst the people I asked included some incredibly good dancers; but I was too intimidated to go and ask anyone of the crowd of regular forum posters (I recognised some of them from the photos on their profiles). Are any other of the less regular forum members also intimidated by the popularity of some members?
    Steve, I found the complete opposite. I first met other forumites at weekenders, I had only been dancing a few months, and it was lovely that lots of experienced dancers from the forum were dancing with me. But you have to speak to people first!
    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    I wish people would come over and introduce themselves,

    I think posting on a forum can be an indicator that people are friendly, outgoing and willing to engage in dialogue with people they haven't even met. So why would they be different when you meet them?

  11. #71
    Registered User SteveK's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    Steve, I found the complete opposite. I first met other forumites at weekenders, I had only been dancing a few months, and it was lovely that lots of experienced dancers from the forum were dancing with me. But you have to speak to people first!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    I wish people would come over and introduce themselves, i don't know what Little Wiggle looks like and didn't know til just now (when i looked at his profile) what SteveK looked like. We don't bite (well i don't) so if you recognise me please come and say hi. I only look scary, i'm a pussycat really! Isn't that so Lory?

    I think I've probably answered my original query about being intimidated more about approaching forum members than just elite dancers - the responses I've received to my post indicate that I really should have made more of an effort to introduce myself..... and similarly this applies to others in a similar situation! Some forumites might appear to be "elite dance gods", but based on the messages I've received yesterday/today, they are also fairly friendly too... (although some might bite )

  12. #72
    Registered User quiet_flame's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?


    Always say hi,
    Forumites are some of the friendliest people I know.

    If you're ever in Oz, be sure to search me out,
    hell you might even get a dance... I don't follow too badly, when I'm told i'm following

  13. #73
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    There were at least 5 what I would consider "elite" dancers at Bedford on Sunday. I asked 4 of them to dance, and suffered from feelings of inadequacy in all of those dances, and performed below my best. Sorry ladies. It is something that I have to work on, though I do not like the idea of giving sub-standard dances whilst I do so.

  14. #74
    Registered User CeeCee's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    I guess we never know when or why someone will refuse a dance and sometimes responses are out of character. Reading these posts made me think of something that happened recently.

    originally posted by Feelingpink
    We all get knockbacks and people often turn down a dance for reasons other than 'you'
    originally posted by Yliander
    like you said there are any number of reasons she may have said no - the majority of them and most likely nothing to do with you personally
    I hope these posts help the girl in my story...

    I don't know about 'elite' but there is a chap who dances in London whose reputation is well deserved. He's an awesome leader, stylish, strong, cute, charming, funny and he smiles such beautiful smiles. He's good and he knows he's good. I'm fortunate enough to have danced with him often and whether the music is fast or slow, each dance is a sublime experience. I've never been disappointed.

    At a Saturday freestyle I was chatting to a lovely confident young lady who asked me to recommend someone to dance with. I spotted this guy and pointed him out. The young lady has been dancing for a couple of years but she didn't have the courage to ask him because she'd seen him dance many times and thought that he would be too good for her. She thought he might refuse. I encouraged her, saying that he's a lovely guy and I'd never known him refuse anyone.

    She approached him, tapped him on the shoulder, he turned, she smiled, she spoke, then I was horrified to see him look her up and down, turn his back on her and walk away. She was left standing in the middle of the floor.

    I felt so sorry for her. We girls talk about him a lot and no-one has ever mentioned him turning anyone down but I still felt responsible. I felt terrible, I'm sure she felt terrible too.

    I didn't see her again that night and she had short break from dancing because of his behaviour. She told me that it knocked her confidence but thankfully she's decided to put it down to experience and has found the courage to ask for dances again.

  15. #75
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by CeeCee View Post
    [COLOR="Navy"]
    I don't know about 'elite' but there is a chap who dances in London whose reputation is well deserved.
    Did you know him well enough to tackle him about it? If we all learned the effect we had on others, it might raise awareness, and make us all more considerate for more of the time...

    Certainly there's been the odd occasion when I've caused offence without realising it, and wished I'd been told sooner...

  16. #76
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Achelous View Post
    Should I even try - risking irreperable psychological damage in the process?
    How's your mental health today? And, have you got any bite marks?
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
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  17. #77
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Oh dear, oh dear.

    Elite dancers?
    Cliques?
    Hotshots?

    Where will it all end?

    There are nice people with good manners and there are rude people with no consideration for other's feelings. And there are those who flit between the two camps depending on their mood.

    Good manners are nothing to do with dance ability. You don't suddenly get bad manners because you become an accomplished dancer. Some beginners have bad manners too - that's because they have bad manners, not because they are beginners or expert dancers.

    If somebody asks a person to dance and that person does not feel inclined to dance they should decline the offer in polite way that shows consideration for the feelings of the person they are refusing. To do otherwise would be rude. And we avoid rude people, don't we? Why would we ever ask that rude person for a dance and put ourselves in the firing line for more rudeness?

    Of course we must express some surprise that somebody who has paid to dance the refuses to do so when offered the opportunity. But it is completely acceptable to decline an offer of a dance in a polite way. And, because they've paid to dance there is an expectation that they tell the person asking why they are unable to accept their offer of a dance at this time. Something like, I'm having a rest, don't like this track, etc would do the trick if accompanied by a word like "sorry".

    And, while on the subject of revenge refusals, I've never read such rubbish. As well mannered individuals we should never behave in the same way as someone we criticise - it makes us less than equal to the person we have criticised. Not only have we behaved in the same way as that rude person, we have also been a hypocrite in behaving in a way we have said is unacceptable.

    And, we must allow people to change. Sometimes those people who've been rude to us will have a change of heart and stop being rude. Give them a chance to become nice. Don't expect an apology, just expect niceness

    So, there we have it. There are no hotshot dancers or refusal rows, there are rude people and there are polite people: some of them are good dancers and some are not. Please make sure you never become one of those rude people, no matter how good you get at dancing

  18. #78
    Registered User Clive Long's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    << solid Aunty McG wisdom from dance heaven >>
    And, we must allow people to change.
    Especially this

  19. #79
    Registered User Clive Long's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    This has just occurred to me.

    I have had a busy old night. I have had my share of mediocre, drag around the floor, suppress-the-bounce kind of dances.

    You approach me. My heart fills with dread. I know I am going to be yanked, pawed and none of it to a beat that I can feel. Am I allowed to say "thanks, but no thanks?" No explanations, no apologies. Just "No".

    I have been called a hot-shot by three different women so I feel qualified to ask this question.

    Wodge

  20. #80
    Registered User marty_baby's Avatar
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    Re: Asking elite dancers to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post


    << solid Andy McG wisdom from dance heaven >>



    Bang on Andy!

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