Ugly women/men don’t get dances

[Chef]

It is at this sort of time that I really want a message on my forehead to say (in pink neon of course ) "Teach me please?? Help me to be to be as good a dancer as you - Please??"



Whitetiger

I have found that exactly the above approach has served me very well over the years and I know that LMC has also adopted it as a technique. I even used to wear a T shirt with learner plates on them and the message "all help gratefully recieved". In the beginning there was so much to work on I knew that I would have to prioritise.

Just asking a dancer that you really respect for a dance and asking them to spend one track afterwards telling you ONE thing that you could improve and how they think you should do it has served to open my eyes to many things. All of the people that I have asked have be fine with helping me out in this way and most have expressed the view that someone that wants to learn and will get better and better is much more fun than someone that provides a not enjoyable dance everytime for years. The one track and one thing limit means that I am not overburdening them or overloading myself with information.

People also remember you for the right reasons (not great dancers but keen to improve) rather than the wrong reasons (they were yanking my arm 6 months ago and they are still doing it).

You have to ask. Dancers will not volunteer information in a social dance scene unless you are dangerous to the point of pain. They will simply passively evade you. My reading of the thread above is that more peolpe will try to aviod dancing with you because you can't dance well than will avoid you because of your looks.

There is little I can do about my looks so I choose to put my efforts into my dancing instead.

[Clueless]

Why oh why oh why do these threads always turn into fishing expeditions?

You're all ugly. OK?

David NoDances, they'll call me...

its people wanting to know how other people view them. the insecurities of human nature, amazing! lol

though I will admit

Caro: I am guilty of dancing off beat and sometimes bumping into people.

[Lynn]

There is little I can do about my looks so I choose to put my efforts into my dancing instead.

That sums it up excellently.

[fletch]

Just asking a dancer that you really respect for a dance and asking them to spend one track afterwards telling you ONE thing that you could improve and how they think you should do it has served to open my eyes to many things.


There is little I can do about my looks so I choose to put my efforts into my dancing instead.

Yes, that sound like good advice but just be careful I did it recently and I was completely destroyed, I was told I couldn't follow and that I would never be a good dancer unless I stopped dancing with relatively inexperienced dancers.

I spent some time thinking about what had been said to me and decided that although I DO want to be a better dancer, for me, it is all about FUN and enjoying my dancing, not dancing with inexperienced people isn't my style, as I believe they are tomorrow's experts, and I like dancing with everyone.

And your last comment........just one thing to say MR NOVEMBER

[Lory]

I think all Ceroc teachers should make an announcement at the end of the class...


To all you good looking folk and great dancers out there, stop for just one minute and think about all those people out there who are less fortunate than yourselves .


Now look round the room and grab the ugliest person you can find and make their night!

[Alice]

I think all Ceroc teachers should make an announcement at the end of the class...


To all you good looking folk and great dancers out there, stop for just one minute and think about all those people out there who are less fortunate than yourselves .


Now look round the room and grab the ugliest person you can find and make their night!

Great idea, bet this'll catch like wildfire....

[LMC]

Now look round the room and grab the ugliest person you can find and make their night!

Now that's what I call a win-win situation... or would that be lose-lose

[Chef]

Yes, that sound like good advice but just be careful I did it recently and I was completely destroyed, I was told I couldn't follow and that I would never be a good dancer unless I stopped dancing with relatively inexperienced dancers. :

Things can be expressed tactfully. Perhaps this just wasn't said in a tactful way. I find that limiting the advice to getting just ONE thing about my dancing and a time limit of ONE track works in my favour in the following way. Being told (since I did ask) one thing about my dancing limits the feeling that my abilities are being completely torn apart. Only having one track in which to do it means my tutor has less opportunity to come up with a big list of stuff for me to work on.

What the person above said may well (I cannot comment) be the complete unvarnished truth BUT you weren't really ready to hear it. It did make you re evaluate what you wanted out of your dancing and what, if anything, you were prepared to do. Rarely is that a bad process to go through.

I spent some time thinking about what had been said to me and decided that although I DO want to be a better dancer, for me, it is all about FUN and enjoying my dancing, not dancing with inexperienced people isn't my style, as I believe they are tomorrow's experts, and I like dancing with everyone. :

Improving your own dancing doesn't stop you dancing with inexperienced people (it can make you enjoy it less though, so I can understand how you feel) but if there truly are some things in your following that you can work on and improve then wouldn't that put you in a better position of being a helpful dance partner for "tomorrows experts". All the time we hear on the forum about people wanting to dance with the better dancers because they think it will help their dance development. There is very little talk about people wanting to dance with bad dancers as a way of improving their dancing.

I only have to think back to my experinces last tuesday with two ladies that seemed determined to throw themselves about in random directions, or even at the floor when doing a rockstep (oh how I miss Beach Boogie) despite my best efforts to lead them to know I cannot learn anything about leading if the person connected to my fingertips know nothing about following. I feel it is my role to lead a dance partner, not overpower them.

And your last comment........just one thing to say MR NOVEMBER

Anytime you want to be the top half of that photo then let me know.

[Lynn]

To all you good looking folk and great dancers out there, stop for just one minute and think about all those people out there who are less fortunate than yourselves .

Now look round the room and grab the ugliest person you can find and make their night!

I'd be trampled in the rush.

Was chatting about this to some male dancing friends tonight and they confirmed. Yup, men are shallow.

[KatieR]

Oh well - I'm crushed


F*** that - I miss dancing with you

Not in this lifetime


Christopher

Im humbled...*blush* thank you very much for the kind words. I always enjoyed dancing with you as well. Its a shame that I left after you started going to Jango.

[David Bailey]

I was told I couldn't follow

Hah, dancing and diplomacy don't always come hand-in-hand do they?

I don't think there's anything wrong with your following by the way - it's certainly better than most. Did Mr Tact give you anything vaguely resembling specific advice or constructive suggestions?

I would never be a good dancer unless I stopped dancing with relatively inexperienced dancers.

Interesting. I'd say that's a fairly good sign of someone who isn't that good a dancer, that they need to rely on their partner's ability to lift them up. Surely a truly advanced dancer would make any partner look good?

Based on what you say, I'd class that advisor as an intermediate, rather than an advanced, dancer.

I think that you should dance with a range of different dancers, so that you can learn how to follow both good leads, and how to compensate for or style out of bad leads. So yes, you shouldn't only dance with beginners, but neither should you only dance with experienced dancers.

And you should take up tango. That's what Real Dancers do...

[straycat]

Interesting. I'd say that's a fairly good sign of someone who isn't that good a dancer, that they need to rely on their partner's ability to lift them up. Surely a truly advanced dancer would make any partner look good?

Based on what you say, I'd class that advisor as an intermediate, rather than an advanced, dancer.

I think that you should dance with a range of different dancers, so that you can learn how to follow both good leads, and how to compensate for or style out of bad leads. So yes, you shouldn't only dance with beginners, but neither should you only dance with experienced dancers.

And you should take up tango. That's what Real Dancers do...

That too.

And Lindy

[Freya]

Interesting. I'd say that's a fairly good sign of someone who isn't that good a dancer, that they need to rely on their partner's ability to lift them up. Surely a truly advanced dancer would make any partner look good?

Having watched some great dancers they have the ability to make even absolute beginners look good.

[Sparkles]

Having watched some great dancers they have the ability to make even absolute beginners look good.

(Just a personal opinion but...) really great dancers will be able to make *anyone* both look and feel good

[LemonCake]

(Just a personal opinion but...) really great dancers will be able to make *anyone* both look and feel good

And are able to laugh it off amiably when something goes wrong (although I've been told there's no such thing as 'wrong', just a move that's never been tried before!) so you don't feel 2 inches tall for ruining their excellent lead...

[Daisy Chain]

I


Now look round the room and grab the ugliest person you can find and make their night!

I'd have to run and hide in the loo just incase I was picked. Imagine...

Daisy

A Pig-Ugly Little FLower)

[Lory]

I'd have to run and hide in the loo just incase I was picked. Imagine...

I think i'd run and pick the biggest hotshot I could find!

[PretzelMeister]

And are able to laugh it off amiably when something goes wrong (although I've been told there's no such thing as 'wrong', just a move that's never been tried before!) so you don't feel 2 inches tall for ruining their excellent lead...

[Daisy Chain]

I think i'd run and pick the biggest hotshot I could find!

We could all run towards the same hotshot.

[stewart38]

To all you good looking folk and great dancers out there, stop for just one minute and think about all those people out there who are less fortunate than yourselves .

I often do