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Thread: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

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    Registered User stewart38's Avatar
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    Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Let’s face facts if you’re ugly women and you don’t ask men to dance and there is a gender imbalance in favour of men you might sit there all night on a chair tapping your feet. Or stand at a weekender, tapping your feet. Works for men as well

    Gentlemen/women do you go out of your way to ask such ladies for a dance?? or do you keep a 14ft distance and avoid all eye contact when you walk past quickly just in case you get caught

    It’s odd all the beautiful women wearing tight fitting clothing don’t seem to be sitting out much regardless of dancing ability?

    Discuss

    Rep for first person who says I always choose a women or man based PURELY on their dancing ability and not how they look, smell stoop or dribble as that would be SHALLOW.

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    Registered User littlewiggle's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Well I can honestly say that if I see someone who seems to be a bit of a loner and on their ownsome in a corner, I go out of my way to ask them to dance. I would hate to be in that situation so I always make an effort in that department!

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    Registered User Piglet's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Wanted to shoot you down in flames, but...

    It is lovely to dance with good looking guys cos it is a bit of an ego boost that they've agreed to dance with me

    However, looks aside, I still prefer to dance with the dancers I click with or who are gentle but assertive in their lead - nothing to do with how they look generally.

    I've got to say that those rough leads become ugly people in my eyes and it has nothing whatsoever to do with their looks, and I HATE dancing with them but still agree to if I can't escape before they descend on me!

    Sometimes I avoid asking the good looking ones to dance cos I think they wouldn't want to dance with me - but that's a state of mind I have to fight with perhaps. (And I'm not fishing for compliments - honestly - I know I have good days when I'm the most stunning thing on the planet, but more than often I'm having a plain Jane day.)

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    Registered User Serendipity's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    I dance with almost any chap who asks me to. Doesn't matter if they are tall, short, plain, seriously gorgeous or resemble a cat's bottom.

    Some of the most terrific dances I have had would never have happened if I had been working on an attractiveness scale.

    However, I decline gracefully if they:

    a) smell appalling
    b) have previously dislocated my arm
    c) look as if they may be about to expire
    d) have groped me on more than one occasion


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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    "I always choose a women or man based PURELY on their dancing ability and not how they look, smell stoop or dribble as that would be SHALLOW"

    no, seriously, ugly don't come in when I choose a man for a dance (if I am lucky enough to have choice of course), first is 'am I likely to have a good time dancing with this guy?' so choice might vary depending on the tune played at the time.
    Look (clothing) doesn't come in either, I really don;t care
    Smell: well if I know the guy stinks, yes I will try to avoid him

    More generally the only people I avoid are those with whom 3 minutes seems like an eternity, which happens with people yanking your arm all the time, people who can't dance on the beat (unless they are beginners I which case I'm happy to have a dance with them), and people who have no consideration whatsoever for their partner (push/bump me into other couples, drop me without asking, don't look at me or smile at all).

    so, yes, sorry, but dancing ability is definately the first criteria that comes in for me!

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    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Assuming the thread was inspired by your mention of the lady at Funky Lush yesterday I have to say I did try to work the room there but still missed out on a handful of ladies. It was an environment where, if you didn't ask, you didn't dance but so are many of the events I go to. I was thrilled to be asked to dance by ladies who are fantastic (and sexy ) dancers and if they are asking and a.n.other is not then who is going to end up dancing? I asked Nina to dance as I have never had the privilege before and I was quite nervous approaching her but I knew if I didn't do it that she would be so much in demand that I mightn't get a chance later. About 0.02 seconds into the dance I had the same feeling of being out of my depth that I had when jumping into the 2m end of the swimming pool at 6 years old but that's a different thread.

    But to actually address your point, I can also think of one or two very attractive young girls (also excellent dancers) who I see sitting out frequently. Whether men feel intimidated or think they may look like a sleaze dancing with them I don't know.

    Robert

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    The Gobby one! WittyBird's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Quote Originally Posted by robd
    I was thrilled to be asked to dance by ladies who are fantastic (and sexy ) dancers and if they are asking and a.n.other is not then who is going to end up dancing?
    That just proves that what you're saying is ridiculous S38, RobD doesn't seem to have a problem getting a dance

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    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Quote Originally Posted by WittyBird
    That just proves that what you're saying is ridiculous S38, RobD doesn't seem to have a problem getting a dance
    Flattery gets you everywhere Diddybird.

    Don't choke on your Tex-Mex


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    The Gobby one! WittyBird's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Quote Originally Posted by robd
    Flattery gets you everywhere Diddybird.
    Good things come in small packages and NO for the last time I am not doing cartwheels whilst wearing my cheerleader outfit

    Quote Originally Posted by robd
    Don't choke on your Tex-Mex
    It's still there with Johnny No-Stars :w@nk3r:

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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Ugly women ???????

    Come to Bristol were all the women are drop dead gorgeous

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    Mrs Pretzelmeister
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    I agree with Piglet. Dancing with the goodlooking ones is nice but no matter how good looking a bad lead ruins it.

    Every few tracks I actually choose to spend time sitting out and watching other dancers so I get an idea who I might like to ask to dance. It's an assessment from the shoulders down really!

    I'll dance with anyone at first time of asking (unless the music is not to my taste - I'm well known for being fussy but if I decline on music grounds I will take care to seek out the asker for the next track I like) but after that it depends on the experience.

    Quote Originally Posted by Serendipity
    However, I decline gracefully if they:

    a) smell appalling
    b) have previously dislocated my arm
    c) look as if they may be about to expire
    d) have groped me on more than one occasion
    I'm not even too worried about c) since clearly they haven't expired yet (and there can be few better ways to go than having fun at Ceroc! ) but a, b and especially d are more persuasive.

    I hope I have some of littlewiggle's approach too

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    Registered User Ghost's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    What about girl/girl and boy/boy dances? Do you honestly think Taz, Freya, Tessa etc are dancing with women based on their looks

    I dance with whoever's closest to where I stopped dancing the last track and says "Yes"

    Be Well,
    Christopher

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    Registered User LMC's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    I'll dance with anyone who asks too - with usual exclusions of smelly/yanker.

    If I'm asking, then dancing ability is way more important than looks.

    If I haven't had a chance yet to watch the floor (like LemonCake, I select my future victims by sitting out and watching sometimes ) then I admit that I will tend to go for leads I know, or if I don't know them, the taller guys. But if the dance is rubbish then I'll say a nice thank you and scarper after one dance and not ask them again.

    Also agree with Piglet - doesn't matter how drop dead gorgeous someone is, if the lead is bad, the dance will be too.

    As for ugly people get asked to dance less - well, I've got asked more as my dancing has improved. Make of that what you will.

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    Registered User stewart38's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Quote Originally Posted by robd
    Assuming the thread was inspired by your mention of the lady at Funky Lush yesterday I have to say I did try to work the room there but still missed out on a handful of ladies.
    Nope Funky lush was fantastic and the lady in question was attractive sat top left if you look away from the stage (Up to her to post, hope she does and hope if she does she doesn’t get flamed).

    Like you did eventually get around to dancing with the ugly women at the end when a few of the ladies had left, it was either that or dance with a chair ? all the tables were taken, im joking.

    Of course if anyone had worked there away around the floor it would have taken about an hour at best to have dance with everyone.

    Im talking about observations not people not venues or anything

    Anyone can dance with anyone they like and as many time as they like

    Take my self a miserable little s*** that doesn’t smile and looks pig ugly

    If id been born a women id never get a dance so id have to go dressed in leather to increase my chances by wearing nurses outfit ?

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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Quote Originally Posted by stewart38
    Let’s face facts if you’re ugly women and you don’t ask men to dance and there is a gender imbalance in favour of men you might sit there all night on a chair tapping your feet. Or stand at a weekender, tapping your feet. Works for men as well

    Gentlemen/women do you go out of your way to ask such ladies for a dance?? or do you keep a 14ft distance and avoid all eye contact when you walk past quickly just in case you get caught

    It’s odd all the beautiful women wearing tight fitting clothing don’t seem to be sitting out much regardless of dancing ability?

    Discuss

    Rep for first person who says I always choose a women or man based PURELY on their dancing ability and not how they look, smell stoop or dribble as that would be SHALLOW.
    You seem to do ok, Stewart.

  16. #16
    TiggsTours
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    If I only danced with men I found really attractive, I think I'd spend alot of my night not dancing! (sorry!)

    Looks really don't come into it at all, and I can say that very honestly, alot of my absolutely favourite dancers are in no means what you would call "really attractive", most are just sort of average really, but their personality may shine through and make them attractive, or they may just be an awesome dancer! I would never turn anyone down without very good reason, and looks certainly isn't one of them! In fact, if I actually fancy someone, I find it VERY difficult to ask them to dance!

    As for the women side of things, I agree that its the attractive women that get all the dances though, and many men I have asked agree. If there is an OKish dancer, who's, say, 22 years old, very slim, very pretty, wearing sexy clothes, available, etc. and a middle aged, slightly overweight woman, who is an absolutely fabulous dancer standing next to each other, many men have admitted to me that it would be the young pretty one they make a beeline for, and just scanning a dancefloor on an evening will generall confirm that to be true! Personally, if they were male, I certainly (and I'm sure alot of women are the same) would go for the other one!

    I guess men are just more shallow.

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    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    This thread has confirmed that I’m not a newbie anymore – have seen discussions of this type before!

    At my regular venues (or anywhere else for that matter) have a preference to ask men who have previously asked me to dance – as I know how they dance/they know how I dance. Fortunately these are pretty good dancers on the whole.

    However, sometimes I’m somewhere that’s not familiar/I don’t know anyone (as happened to me at Fulham on Thursday). I wasn’t dancing much (does this mean I’m ugly? But got asked lots at Hammersmith on Saturday… ). Saw WB who effectively told me to stop being such a wuss and go and ask someone to dance. So I did. I looked for someone who was standing on the edge of the dance floor, rather than just coming off it dripping with sweat/exhausted, and who looked like they might be reasonably friendly. Looks didn’t come into it at all – my only concern was that I didn’t get turned down.

    As for asking someone very good looking to dance – unlikely I would as they’re usually too busy already! Actually, am scared to ask really good dancers to dance too. Generally I don’t do it, though made progress on this one last week too, although the guy in question has asked me several times before so I assume he likes dancing with me and thought I should ask him back. (Boy have I been pushing my boundaries! )

    Agree with the other girls – it’s the quality of the dance partner that matters, not how they look.

    However, I think things might be slightly different for men. My expectation is that some will judge far more on looks when choosing someone to ask to dance.

    Had an interesting conversation with a guy on Saturday too, about appearance. Apparently a DJ he knows thinks that what women wear on a particular evening can strongly affect how much they get asked to dance – he’s surmised this from watching the dance floor. Any DJs around care to comment?

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    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Quote Originally Posted by TiggsTours
    If I only danced with men I found really attractive, I think I'd spend alot of my night not dancing! (sorry!)

    Looks really don't come into it at all, and I can say that very honestly, alot of my absolutely favourite dancers are in no means what you would call "really attractive", most are just sort of average really, but their personality may shine through and make them attractive, or they may just be an awesome dancer! I would never turn anyone down without very good reason, and looks certainly isn't one of them! In fact, if I actually fancy someone, I find it VERY difficult to ask them to dance!

    As for the women side of things, I agree that its the attractive women that get all the dances though, and many men I have asked agree. If there is an OKish dancer, who's, say, 22 years old, very slim, very pretty, wearing sexy clothes, available, etc. and a middle aged, slightly overweight woman, who is an absolutely fabulous dancer standing next to each other, many men have admitted to me that it would be the young pretty one they make a beeline for, and just scanning a dancefloor on an evening will generall confirm that to be true! Personally, if they were male, I certainly (and I'm sure alot of women are the same) would go for the other one!

    I guess men are just more shallow.


    As for us slightly older (refuse to say middle-aged!) slightly overweight women who are just average dancers... although I don't seem to do too badly

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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    I'd contest your point at least for my person, Stewart. Not that I go and hunt down not so good-looking people. But in many cases these people make more of an effort with their dancing, hence are very pleasant to dance with, whereas pretty ballerinas are more likely to think they can get away with poor dancing and still get compliments for it.

    Can't completely generalise this but I think it applies to the majority of all cases.

  20. #20
    Registered User spindr's Avatar
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    Re: Ugly women/men don’t get dances

    Availability, Confidence, Posture, Flexibility, Stamina, Muscle tone are all likely to mean that you are a better dancer. They're also likely to be keyed to attractiveness.

    If you're sat down all the time, then availability is questionable (might not be wanting to dance), apparent confidence is zero (or you would be asking), posture is negligible, and apparent stamina is zero (or you would be dancing).

    SpinDr

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