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Thread: Buying flowers when and why ?

  1. #61
    Registered User stewart38's Avatar
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by pmjd
    Just can't be a barsteward, against my nature, which is a good thing over all I think well maybe not good for my love life but hey...

    Your advice almost sounds like one bit of comedy advice I once got
    "practice on the ugly ones" Not sure how much of that was meant as a joke or seriously though
    I assume your joking or are you insulting all women by assuming or nice girls go for barstds . If you have that attitude it will be self defeating

    Now go buy a ‘nice girl’ some flowers

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    Mrs Pretzelmeister
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Oooh discussion about flowers as well as cake!

    As a yellow-label addict (Sainsbury's means of reducing items to clear) I buy myself flowers when they are under £1 and my favourite colours. I will also buy them for any friends I might happen to drop in to see on the way home (all of whom also appreciate bargains so don't think I'm being mean and stingy!)

    While I was at Uni I often took my best friend daffodils in season - a bunch of sunshine to perk up her desk - no specific reason other than both hating our course so much that we needed all the cheering up we could get!

    As for receiving flowers, I've often had them brought to dinner or birthday parties (most recently on Saturday, a gorgeous bunch of white lilies). Only rarely received interflora-type deliveries - for my GCSE results, 21st birthday (to the bar where I was having the party!), first day in first own home etc.

    My last boyfriend bought me flowers twice - once on his first visit, once for my birthday. Both very beautiful, expensive arrangements, but sometimes I would have liked a bunch of freesias or something just cos he thought of it at the time... Or am I too demanding?

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    Mrs Pretzelmeister
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless
    chocolate, Champagne, strawberries, and a bunch of white roses with a single red rose in the middle now that is only on special occasions

    Clueless you sound totally adorable. Hang on in there, you're well on the way to being the perfect catch - a man who can dance (one of the most attractive skills a man can have) and has a romantic streak . Only one question - can you cook?

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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy Locket
    To all of you from me :
    What are you after?







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    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    I'm afraid to say IMHO that all women nice or otherwise do tend to veer toward the bar-stewards and away from the nice guys.

    I also believe the saying that Nice guys finish last.

    Not that I'm bitter and twisted or anything.

    Exhibit A: I was in college, had a really good female friend, we were really close, she shared all her problems with me, Mine with her. She always used to say that she wished she'd met me before her BF. Anyway her and her BF split up, I was there for her to comfort her. bought her flowers, took her shopping, got a taxi to take us to the beach for a picnic. Anyway Long story --> short. She asked Me one day about "this guy" she'd fancied for a while should she ask him out.. I asked "What's he like?" .. "Like you" she replied.. I said ok "I think you should ask him out".. by "Like me" she didn't mean me.. she meant the lowlife that was in my course, same general appearance to me.. but a nasty piece of work. Sleazy, obnoxious, nearly caused me to fail a vital assessment by pinching my work and copying it verbatim.. and of course, a confident cocky self assured hit with the ladies.

    A couple of weeks later, i saw her in the corridor with him she gave me a funny look then burst out laughing to her new beau. Dunno what the joke was.. but I was the punchline.. from babe to B*tch in 1 easy step.

    Always the case.. Bar stewards tend to be more confident and self assured. us nice guys tend to have a little less confidence ergo all girls IMHO tend to prefer the Bar Steward Types..

    Why have the nerd with the glasses when you can have the "cool" guy with his motor bike.

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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by stewart38
    ~Seriously im sure your too nice a guy to become that so just stick with the ugly ones
    Smooth man, smooth

  7. #67
    Mrs Pretzelmeister
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf1970
    I'm afraid to say IMHO that all women nice or otherwise do tend to veer toward the bar-stewards and away from the nice guys.

    I would say that's a tad unfair. I've had my fair share of both kinds - the amoral so-and-so's and the sweet, kind, thoughtful attentive type. The common thread isn't badness or goodness, it's whether they have the 'different' factor. It's nearly indefinable - think of the little black light that lights up black on a black background I am currently single having taken the decision to part company with last boyfriend (see above re flowers) despite the fact he's sweet, charming and loved me to bits, for all kinds of other reasons (one small contributing factor was the way he sulked about dancing in freestyle at Ceroc because he felt insecure about dancing in front of people who were better than him - someone PLEASE explain this to me cos I just don't get it!!!!! Surely the point is to dance, enjoy it, learn from the people around you..?)

    Anyway, back to the point - He had followed fairly promptly from a previous relationship with, tho not an all-out barsteward, someone who abused my trust, loyalty, love and strength for a long time. So I did make a step in the right direction! We're all on a learning curve, some people's curves are just more wiggly than others'.


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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by stewart38
    I assume your joking or are you insulting all women by assuming or nice girls go for barstds . If you have that attitude it will be self defeating

    Now go buy a ‘nice girl’ some flowers
    Joking, in the same way you have been but as with all humour there's a grain of truth in it. I'm not making any sweeping generalisations about all women. Seeing nice people end up with horrible people happens all the time to both men and women. It's happenned to friends, you can't say anything as they're happy but you can see what's coming. You just have to be there to help pick up the pieces afterwards.

    I'll try and find a nice girl but meant time have a

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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Beo - I'd put that down to youth and her being easily influenced. Maybe she showed her true colours? And people bring different qualities out in each other - maybe you brought the nice girl out, this other guy brought the nasty side out. And it's harder to see through people when we are younger as well.

    I used to have a story that "all men are B*st*ards". I eventually realised that it wasn't helping me to relate to men in a way that was healthy and allow me to form a relationship, or even nurture a friendship. I changed that attitude and now just think "most people are OK, but sometimes they behave badly". (I am an eternal optimist though - think I'd slit my wrists otherwise!)

    I might still be single, but at least I have some good male friends, and hopefully will develop more. And one day, you never know, that special someone might just come along, though I'd be very grateful if he'd just hurry it up a bit!

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    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by LemonCake
    I would say that's a tad unfair.

    ok I admit that is a kind of sweeping generalisation. From my point of view it does seem to be the norm than not. but then I may be a nice kind considerate guy, who dances, buys flowers and cooks.. but then I'm also shy, quiet, neurotic introvert with more hang ups than the changing rooms at my local gym.

    I have invisibilty down to a fine art (will be applying to become an X-man later in the year )

    So given the choice of a nice guy with emotional baggage and low self image and a bar steward with confidence and a devil may care attitude? I know who'd I go for if I was a woman..

    obviously it goes with out saying other's milage may vary..

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    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly
    though I'd be very grateful if he'd just hurry it up a bit!
    pant pant.. I'm running as fast as i can.. where are you? London?? eek.. that's a long jog ...

  12. #72
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf1970
    ok I admit that is a kind of sweeping generalisation. From my point of view it does seem to be the norm than not. but then I may be a nice kind considerate guy, who dances, buys flowers and cooks.. but then I'm also shy, quiet, neurotic introvert with more hang ups than the changing rooms at my local gym.
    I have invisibilty down to a fine art (will be applying to become an X-man later in the year )

    So given the choice of a nice guy with emotional baggage and low self image and a bar steward with confidence and a devil may care attitude? I know who'd I go for if I was a woman..

    obviously it goes with out saying other's milage may vary..
    So are you doing anything about what you seem to be listing as your issues?

    Personally, I'd avoid anyone these days who admitted too openly to having psychological problems (actually, I'd run like the wind) since I've a tendency to attract/be attracted to men with issues (comes of being perceived as a strong woman), and had my heart broken. I get the "it's me, not you" line as they wander off refusing to do anything about their problems. Some have just had depression, one had abandonment issues (so decided to do it to me before I could do it to him) and one was diagnosed as manic depressive.

    Everyone has emotional baggage - it just depends on how you chose to deal with it (or not). I'd also be concerned if someone my age didn't have some as it would imply he had little experience of life. But do you just accept it as part of who you are and keep travelling through life, or let it weigh you down so much you don't go anywhere? (and that's a generic you - not you specifically Beo, I'm not having a go!)

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    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf1970
    pant pant.. I'm running as fast as i can.. where are you? London?? eek.. that's a long jog ...
    Well - you're a wolf, four legs should make you faster!

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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by pmjd
    Seeing nice people end up with horrible people happens all the time to both men and women.
    Also wanted to point out that I also see lovely people coming together to make a fantastic couple

    It's the sort of thing that always makes me smile to see two people happy together and gives you hope that one day you'll be the same It's not all doom and gloom

    Beo & Twirly, hang on in there that right one will come along Though I know what you mean about the hurry up bit

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    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by pmjd
    Beo & Twirly, hang on in there that right one will come along Though I know what you mean about the hurry up bit
    Oh I have no choice - in the meantime I'm getting on with life, having fun and dancing my little cotton socks off

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    Registered User stewart38's Avatar
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by pmjd
    Joking, in the same way you have been but as with all humour there's a grain of truth in it. I'm not making any sweeping generalisations about all women. Seeing nice people end up with horrible people happens all the time to both men and women. It's happenned to friends, you can't say anything as they're happy but you can see what's coming. You just have to be there to help pick up the pieces afterwards.

    I'll try and find a nice girl but meant time have a

    There is a book called the laymans guide to bedding beautiful women

    My mate can see 95% of it is toungue in cheek but some of it has merit and truth

    To bed them you have to be a git basically but its says most fall for it

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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf1970
    ok I admit that is a kind of sweeping generalisation. From my point of view it does seem to be the norm than not. but then I may be a nice kind considerate guy, who dances, buys flowers and cooks.. but then I'm also shy, quiet, neurotic introvert with more hang ups than the changing rooms at my local gym.

    I have invisibilty down to a fine art (will be applying to become an X-man later in the year )

    So given the choice of a nice guy with emotional baggage and low self image and a bar steward with confidence and a devil may care attitude? I know who'd I go for if I was a woman..

    obviously it goes with out saying other's milage may vary..

    Having spent the last 10 years in male dominated education & employment, I have a lot of male friends and can say that in the longer run, the brash, cocky, devil-may-care ones may see more action but perhaps get less satisfaction from it. Depends a lot how you rate satisfaction. I've known some who get fed up of it and just want the settled, cosy life and find it hard to find because of the perception that they aren't looking for it.

    Depends what you want at the time - having parted company with the nice guy I am currently toying with a 'bad boy' (yes he even has a motorbike) but all he is is entertainment, not the life choice. It's a conscious decision. I am careful to not tread on feelings as best I can in any direction - sometimes to my own detriment! I actually spent longer with the nice guy than I should have done because he was so nice and there wasn't anything actually 'wrong', other than it wasn't going to be a forever thing.

    Invisibility won't help, I'm afraid. Stand tall, you've got plenty to be proud of! We've all got emotional baggage, some of us are just better at concealing it.


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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by stewart38
    the laymans guide to bedding beautiful women
    With an innuendo like that in the title sounds like a fun read

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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    with apologies to the fast show..

    "Buying a book is much like making love to a beautiful woman.. you find the one you want, make it yours by waving your credit card, then take it home to remove it's dust jacket and get in between the covers"

    lemoncake, my Ex left me for exactly the same reasons.. we've not met have we

  20. #80
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    Re: Buying flowers when and why ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf1970
    "Buying a book is much like making love to a beautiful woman.. you find the one you want, make it yours by waving your credit card, then take it home to remove it's dust jacket and get in between the covers"
    Pah! Men!

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