The worst thing!!

[Lindsay]

Thumbs... nothing worse, especially when you end you with a bruise on the back of your rt. hand.

Any tips for subtly removing thumbs (not completely) welcome....

[Chicklet]

Originally posted by Wendy
Agree TT !! Even thought about starting a thread about the sleaze thing but I'm keeping a low profile this week...

Wxxx

go on - it's awfully quiet today

[Wendy]

Originally posted by Chicklet
go on - it's awfully quiet today

Thought I'd let someone else .....

Wx

[TheTramp]

Isn't it just (awfully quiet that is) Somebody talk about something. Anything. Please

Incidentally, my vote for this poll was the stiff arms thing. Smells I can deal with (lots of moves at arms length ), thumbs aren't too big a problem (I just lead with a fingertip, get hold of that if you can!), but stiff arms are just painful. Get a woman with those, and you walk off the dancefloor able to touch your knees. Without bending over.

Just after I started dancing, I met a woman whose arms were just like ramrods. It almost put me off dancing completely.

Steve

[Dance Demon]

Originally posted by Lindsay
Th

Any tips for subtly removing thumbs (not completely) welcome....

How about some hand cream on the back of your hand:reallymad

[DavidB]

Originally posted by Lindsay
Any tips for subtly removing thumbs (not completely) welcome....

Pliers - not subtle, but effective...

[Graham]

I voted for stiff arms too. If I wanted a workout I'd go to the gym.

• I have had partners with bad breath, but as you're generally not constantly exposed to it I think there are worse things
• I've never actually noticed BO in a partner, but perhaps I've just been lucky, or maybe it's predominantly men who have this particular failing
• Alcohol breath is a good thing, as it warns you that your partner may not be quite as co-ordinated as you would expect
• Thumbs on the back of the hands is not pleasant, although I've never experienced bruising - gripping too hard usually just prevents me from leading particular moves properly (anything requiring a flat hand is difficult, as the follower can't really feel a difference). Having said that I've realised that I do sometimes use my thumbs deliberately and I'm now wondering if my partners are all going away with bruises :sorry
• No beat is not fun, but doesn't present horrific problems unless combined with stiff arms
• Spaghetti arms is almost as difficult to deal with as stiff arms but is very rare in my experience
• Never experienced too sleazy, but perhaps I have a high threshold
• Only two partners have done drops on me which I hadn't intended, but as they were both teachers it worked out okay, and if I'd dropped them it would have been their own lookout

[Basil Brush (Forum Plant)]

Originally posted by Lindsay
Thumbs... nothing worse, especially when you end you with a bruise on the back of your rt. hand.

Any tips for subtly removing thumbs (not completely) welcome....

Grip them with the tips of your fingers and then they can't reach?

[PeterL]

Having just read this thread.
I feel I have to make a comment on the eye contact thing.

I am constantly reading and hearing how important eye contact is and thought it was worth pointing out that eye contact can be very difficult for some people, it can make them feel very uncomfortable. This is not neccesarily a character flaw or a sign of dishonesty but simply a fact of life.
Speaking for myself it is a symptom and I have spent many years trying to overcome feeling uncomfortable when looking in peoples eyes. I have many coping mechanisms for this like looking away for split instances.

When dancing I find that I cannot look people direct in the eye because the discomfort it gives me throws my dance and so I pretend to occasionally make eye contact while as I am really looking just above or below the eye. When someone is maintaining too much eye contact this is highly difficult.

I know this is not the prevailing but one of my pethates would be too much eyecontact.



I don't think too many people have a problem with my eye contact when dancing, but having spent the early part of my life being acutely aware that people didn't trust me etc because I didn't look them straight in the eye it makes me uncomfortable to constantly read how important eye contact is, please spare a thought for people who aren't good at it through no fault of there own but still want to dance with you.

[Franck]

Originally posted by PeterL
Having just read this thread.
I feel I have to make a comment on the eye contact thing.

I am constantly reading and hearing how important eye contact is and thought it was worth pointing out that eye contact can be very difficult for some people, it can make them feel very uncomfortable.

Back to worrying again Peter...

I completely agree with you, and I reckon that most people who are big fans of eye contact (myself included) don't actually make that much eye contact during the dance... Constant eye contact is spooky and can be very off putting...

My view is that eye contact is all about communicating, it is about showing that you enjoyed a particular move / combination / surprise during the dance, like an acknowledgement that you are dancing together...
A brief glance combined with a smile is all the eye contact required... and yes, you can cheat and look just above the eyes etc...

As a man, leading, I find it very hard to be motivated in a dance if I get no feedback that my partner is enjoying herself or at least interested in the dance, and while I appreciate that some Beginners will be very shy, it makes a huge difference when all of a sudden they look up and smile, or even make a little 'whoop' of surprise / appreciation

On the other hand, constant eye contact (especially with no smile) is very off-putting, and completely distracts me...

So, no, Peter, I don't think you're alone... but you still worry too much

Franck.

[PeterL]

Originally posted by Franck
Back to worrying again Peter...

So, no, Peter, I don't think you're alone... but you still worry too much

Franck.

Thanks for clearing that up. I'll try not to worry about it.

[Chicklet]

Been thinking about this thread for a while trying to form my thoughts into something coherent!

The dancing off- beat thing has been pursued further elsewhere but more from the point of view of deliberately off beat and for a reason - I don't think this is the off beat that is complained of here - I would see deliberate off beat as a challenge and something new to have a go at - if it is at tempo with the music - why not try.

The problem is slowing down and speeding up and just not being with the music at all (spinning a beat too early out of the catapult is the worst!!!!)....there aren't many of these guys around I have to say but it can be a struggle and many of even the best lady dancers can look, shall we say not at their best, when being led this way and I think most of all I feel pity for the men and think it's a shame that they really don't get to feel what some do (watch their faces - they don't)


Arms, stiff or spagetti or weird hand holds, I have always thought maybe this comes with practice and getting to know the person you are dancing with?


Which brings me onto the most important thing for me - maybe should be on Sheena's thread but here goes:

I have three categories in my head -

people I don't know - can be nice to dance with but they need to leave shall we say "dance space", I am FAR from prudish but it's just not on for someone you don't know (or someone who has tried to "get to know you " and been told where to go, yes I could give you a name or two!!) to be "accidentally" brushing and
squeezing etc...these guys get about 50 % eyecontact - for me it's all related - too much and there can be wrong signals flying and as Peter says it can be uncomfortable - IMO you wouldn't like someone you don't know very well or didn't really like staring into your eyes constantly for 5 mins in any other situation so why want it on the dance floor?

people I know quite well who introduce a bluesy or close move, or an unexpected dip (maybe that's my fault and I should recognise the signals) or a squeeze or anything like that are great to dance with and these get 75 - 80 % eyecontact. This is like flirting in the office, it goes on everywhere, all the time and it's basically harmless and flattering when both parties have the same expectations. A damn good feelgood dance with a bit if variety.
(most of my lovely dance chums come into the above category)

and then there's the BTC / BTMML / BTS category - had heard the rumours on this but only just experienced it for myself very recently. the eye contact is up to 100% because you are the only two people in the room (or so it feels). This can go as close as you like for as long as you like and it's very very special and I can't explain why or how it happens. (actually i think I can but I'm not going to )

To get back to the point the worst thing for me is when people from one category try to take themselves into the next one, and reading back I should have put this into Sheena's thread but don't know how to change.

C

[TheTramp]

BTC / BTMML / BTS category

How about those that are BTWU???

Steve

[Chicklet]

Originally posted by TheTramp
How about those that are BTWU???

Steve

that must be better that wugby union???

is there ANYHTING that's better than wugby union???

[TheTramp]

Nah.

It was Better Than Washing Up.

I set my sights low so that I won't be too disappointed.....

Steve

[Chicklet]

ahhh but is the point not that it's partly the illusive quality of the BT dances that makes them so?

actually while I'm typing that I'm not so sure, would I ever turn down / avoid etc a potential BT because I thought it was getting commonplace and I was getting to much of it.

er No actually.

[TheTramp]

What? You mean you'd dance with me again, even though I'm only better than washing up?

How sweet

Steve

[DavidY]

Originally posted by Chicklet
...and then there's the BTC / BTMML / BTS category...

I know I'll look foolish for admitting I can't work this out - but what does "BTMML" mean?
It's been bugging me for days!

David

[Franck]

Originally posted by DavidY
I know I'll look foolish for admitting I can't work this out - but what does "BTMML" mean?
It's been bugging me for days!

If I remember correctly, Chicklet coined that one, as in Better Than My Mum's Lasagna...

I can't remember whom it might have applied to though

Franck.

[DavidY]

Originally posted by Franck
If I remember correctly, Chicklet coined that one, as in Better Than My Mum's Lasagna...
Franck.

Thanks Franck - I found it now (in the Chocolate Party thread).

David