If I am understanding you correctly, the problem is that when something goes wrong, you are finding yourself and/or your partner in a different position than you expected. The coping technique to use is basically just the same as having to choose what to do next when everything goes right - at the end of a first move, for example, you are thinking "What do I do now? My left hand is holding her right hand and we're both stepping back, I know, I'll do a manspin / travelling return / pretzel / etc." When something goes wrong, you need to do the same thing, but what you're looking for is to start in the middle of a move which has the position you're currently in. We teach modern jives in "moves" which have a start and an end, but this is merely a trick to make it easier to teach/learn - in reality the dance is one continuous movement through the track - when you find yourself in an unexpected position you just have to think of what you can do starting from that position.
This is, of course, easier said than done, and I think it's largely a question of practice. There are one or two "tricks" you can learn though - for example, learn a couple of things you can do if you find yourself holding your partner's left hand instead of her right. Sometimes (like a side-to-side) you can perhaps do the mirror image of what you've just done to get back into your start position and proceed from there with a new move. Good luck, and don't worry about it.
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