Dating dancers - wise?

[straycat]

Noooo!!!!

Just trying to help...

[Twirly]

Thanks Beo – it’s not that I believe that nobody loves me, and it’s not self pity that I’m suffering from here, even if it sounds like it and I’ve had that in the past.

I have lots of friends, most of whom traipsed across the country at the end of last year to help celebrate a rather important birthday. I have friends who will turn up in the middle of the night because I’ve fallen over and hit my head – despite the fact that they are scared of going out at night. I therefore assume that I must be a nice person to be around since I inspire such loyalty (and I am a loyal friend in return).

However, after more than a decade of being single more than 90% of the time, you just begin to make assumptions that you aren’t attractive for some reason – how can you not? I would say that I can’t remember the last time a man asked me out, but I’d be lying. I can, it’s just embarrassing how long ago it was.

Right, that’s enough self-revelation!

My point in picking up on what Patrick said is serious though. Please think before you post what appears to be a throw away comment – it can have an effect on other people which you might not expect.

Right, I’m off to toughen up…

[ducasi]

So who's going to start the 'Would you date Twirly?' poll?

So maybe Twirly wouldn't be up for such a poll, but who would? Multiple choice, definitely not public...

(Assuming you were single) would you date:

• ducasi
• ...
• who else?
• ...
• none of the above

[whitetiger1518]

Are you asking for real replies to that Ducasi?? ..I'm hopeless at remembering who is single around here, so I get terrified about asking anyone, in case i step on any toes.

I don't mind being single (I only sometimes get the grumps about it), but I wouldn't mind being half of a couple again either.

If someone decides to get to know me better either through dance, work etc then wonderful.

Meanwhile I shall dance for enjoyment in the company of my partners, and the beat of the music..

Whitetiger

[Beowulf]

I don't mind being single (I only sometimes get the grumps about it), but I wouldn't mind being half of a couple again either.

If someone decides to get to know me better either through dance, work etc then wonderful.

Meanwhile I shall dance for enjoyment in the company of my partners, and the beat of the music..

Whitetiger

My sentiments exactly

[Patrick]

My point in picking up on what Patrick said is serious though. Please think before you post what appears to be a throw away comment – it can have an effect on other people which you might not expect.

Right, I’m off to toughen up…

The post I thought I'd posted had an hour more thoughtful and agonising effort put into it, and would have been much more considerate and helpful. Sadly lost somewhere in the ether, and my first thoughts went out. At 5am I was too exhausted to fix it. Sorry!

However what was posted is the harsh side of my experience. And it is only my perception, which I know is incomplete. I assumed all ladies could dance better than me. Not true. I assumed all attractive ladies have boyfriends and/or wouldn't be interested in me. Seems to be true but probably isn't! (I would probably think that about you from your pic). I used to assume ladies had an easy time getting dates compared to men. Not always true, clearly. Not enough communication going on!

I am in pretty much the same position as you. Lots of friends of the opposite sex, but no-one seems interested in more at the moment.

Patrick

[Flat_Eric]

The 0.02 € from the Frog with a hairy chest:

- In "dating dancers", the real question starts with "dating" and depends on the meaning you link to it and the associated social behaviours you have when you date. Considering the membership format of Ceroc and MJ franchises, you are likely to meet again someone you "date", even if for a 1-night stand. This means that you'll have to face/confront, directly or indirectly (gossip...), the eventual lies false promises you may have made.

- Constructive dating (defined as: dating with the intent of starting a relationship) is based on common interest and time spent together. To date someone, you have to spend time with them...

That's the no-issue part of the answer. Now:
- Dancing does create infatuations at times. The dance feels so wonderful, so connected and so natural that it becomes hard to tell yourself that the actual person you've just danced with may be less than the overwhelming feeling that the interaction you just had with them created. I guess we are all subject to this... Meaning that, some evenings, we go home remembering a dance more than the others, the person we had it with, think about them, lurk them at the next venue, hoping to get as amazing an experience.

Such is the life of a dancer, with its share of emotional delusion. There may in fact be some truth in it. Perhaps, the person is as wonderful as the dance they just gave you, but its a different matter anyway. Generally, they are just normal people.

I would suggest to be patient and to dance with these people some more times. More than offen, the dream will just drift away, calling you back to reality, with a slight disappointment... That will be erased by the next infatuation.

Personnally, I find this dynamic wonderful. The fantasy part of the dance and the imaginative word that comes with it is an important part of why I do it. I do not really feel the need to investigate much further. If it has to happen, it just will. No reason to push or facilitate things.

As a consequence, I rarely talk during, before or after dancing. A personal choice that may not fit the manjority of people looking for "friends" (as in: a first name on your phone address book), but I'm quite content with that, as with the rest of my "real" / adult / rational life in general, and don't really wish to mix the two.

[sidney]

Gosh since I started up this thread again there has been some interesting comments which I have enjoyed reading, and I must say at this moment in time I do feel content being single again have been for four months, can't believe a couple of the girls who have posted not been ask out as they are both very attractive girls. I myself when I first started was ask out in the second week by someone I would not have gone for in the non-dancing world but over time I fell for him because he was a wonderful dancer but sadly it was not meant to be as he like the women to much, and since I have been out with a couple of more but I did find hard to mix the dancing and relationship together. I am lucky I have some good friends male and female to go out with so I have no time to feel sad.

[dee]

Dee no doubt has been asked out many times but I guess just refuses

Hey i have not been asked out once in years

[Beowulf]

Hey i have not been asked out once in years

Hey Dee? Want to go out on a date?

[dee]

Hey Dee? Want to go out on a date?

Ok where we going?

[Beowulf]

Ok where we going?

I'll cook you dinner in the Playroom

No doubt I'll meet up with you in London. I dare say between now and then if you Twirly and I put our heads together we could figure out a venue

do you mind a three-way date?

[Twirly]

I'll cook you dinner in the Playroom

No doubt I'll meet up with you in London. I dare say between now and then if you Twirly and I put our heads together we could figure out a venue

do you mind a three-way date?

Good grief - this new confidence has gone to your head Beo! A few weeks ago you were complaining you couldn't ask one woman out, now you're proposing to date two women at once (on the same date no less)! Have you been taking lessons from SF?

Anyway, am not into polyamory... *sniff*

[ducasi]

So maybe Twirly wouldn't be up for such a poll, but who would? Multiple choice, definitely not public...

(Assuming you were single) would you date:

• ducasi
• ...
• who else?
• ...
• none of the above

Really no-one else wanting to take part in this poll?

[straycat]

Really no-one else wanting to take part in this poll?

I ain't single, you see...

[straycat]

This thread reminded me of another quote from a favourite book:

''You want to go out to dinner sometime?'
'Sorry, no. I'm married, not hungry, infected with seven unknown diseases, gay, pregnant with lizards and clinically dead.'
'"Sorry, no" would have done all on it's own, you know.'
'Just making sure. '

[ducasi]

I ain't single, you see...

There's lots of other folks here who are... You're not scared are you?

[stewart38]

However, after more than a decade of being single more than 90% of the time, you just begin to make assumptions that you aren’t attractive for some reason – how can you not? I would say that I can’t remember the last time a man asked me out, but I’d be lying. I can, it’s just embarrassing how long ago it was.

Right, that’s enough self-revelation!

My point in picking up on what Patrick said is serious though. Please think before you post what appears to be a throw away comment – it can have an effect on other people which you might not expect.

Right, I’m off to toughen up…

what do you do about being 'single' my sister does nothing

Ive asked out 98% of all cerocers so guess i missed you sorry (Im including guys to)

[Beowulf]

Really no-one else wanting to take part in this poll?

You serious? I thought you were Joking..

well if you're game.. I am.. although I'll be sure not many people would vote

[Twirly]

what do you do about being 'single' my sister does nothing

Ive asked out 98% of all cerocers so guess i missed you sorry (Im including guys to)

You try things like internet dating and dating evenings and wind up depressed!

Actually, it can be quite funny...

Yep, you missed me - now what does that say about my powers of attraction?! In the bottom 2%!