View Poll Results: Ladies - what are you looking for in a dance

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  • Lots of different moves

    11 16.18%
  • Simple moves, but well led

    33 48.53%
  • Musical Interpretation

    60 88.24%
  • Chance to improvise

    23 33.82%
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Thread: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

  1. #81
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Christine Keeble
    I'd like to add that the extent of your repertoire matters not one jot to me. Whether its three moves or three hundred there is only one thing I really look for in a dance.

    ~snip~

    If the guy feels at one with the music then I can too. If I can FEEL the music then off I go to Never Never land.


    I liken a dance to a conversation between two people...

    The music is the subject....

    I hate it when the conversation is one too sided... I like to be listened too as well

    It's fabulous when I feel I've learnt something, having someone share there knowledge with me, makes me feel richer for the experience

    I hate being shouted at or talked down to, it's very frustrating when someone's just likes to listen to the sound of their own voice, yes, we can hear you but your talking crap!

    Banter and wit, is always very welcome!

    And some of the sweetest conversations are almost whispered, very subtle indeed, you feel totally relaxed and in tune with your partner, there's no need to prove anything cos you already agree on the subject.
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    I like surprises, too, but I am happy with a guy who enjoys dancing, is comfortable to dance with, and who is aware of the beat of the music.

    There are some guys who really don't understand about matching their movement to the rhythm of the music. This is understandable in a beginner, but I am aware of guys who have been dancing sometimes for years and what they do bears only a chance relationship to the beat of the music - I wish there was a way for them to recognise this and perhaps get some private tuition or extra practice.

    Of course some excellent dancers deliberately syncopate their dancing, but this is very advanced (in my book!) - I am talking about the ones who don't seem to know the basics. There are a few men who do very complex moves, but all out of time, and it stops being fun for me, then.

  3. #83
    Registered User Zebra Woman's Avatar
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory


    I liken a dance to a conversation between two people...

    The music is the subject....

    I hate it when the conversation is one too sided... I like to be listened too as well

    It's fabulous when I feel I've learnt something, having someone share there knowledge with me, makes me feel richer for the experience

    I hate being shouted at or talked down to, it's very frustrating when someone's just likes to listen to the sound of their own voice, yes, we can hear you but your talking crap!

    Banter and wit, is always very welcome!

    And some of the sweetest conversations are almost whispered, very subtle indeed, you feel totally relaxed and in tune with your partner, there's no need to prove anything cos you already agree on the subject.

    Totally agree with you Lory...


    I would only add that, if I'm lost in the music and really into the 'conversation', I don't want the spell to be broken.

    The last thing I want to hear is actual words ....like 'Can you do a Columbian?'....

    Guys, just lead it

    ZW

  4. #84
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    The last thing I want to hear is actual words ....like 'Can you do a Columbian?'....
    Guys, just lead it
    The "Columbian" is an educated step.
    Drops need permission.
    Some moves take verbal leads.
    There are other dances.
    You have a lovely voice.

    So, uh, no. Shan't.

  5. #85
    Registered User Zebra Woman's Avatar
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper
    The "Columbian" is an educated step.
    Drops need permission.
    Some moves take verbal leads.
    There are other dances.
    You have a lovely voice.

    So, uh, no. Shan't.
    Oh...don't then

    I'm only saying what I like.

    Yes a 'Columbian' is an educated step and it has a lead, and an educated follower can follow that lead.

    You are right absolutley, drops need permission. But I would prefer to be asked before the dance begins, I may not hear correctly if the dance has begun. Personally, I can be flexible on the permission if I'm comfortable with a partner. A few gentle test dips will establish whether I'm up for deeper ones. Not flexible re: arials I would always want to be asked before them , and not one second before either .

    Please ask before we dance re: Columbians, arials and drops.

    Or I can give you provisional answers now - Yes, No and Maybe.

    I don't want verbal during the dance (unless it's something really witty )

    lovely voice or not

    ZW

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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper
    The "Columbian" is an educated step.
    The Columbian is a led step. You lead it by changing the attitude of the frame and pushing alternately with your fingers and palm heel on your partners upper back. If you can't lead it properly you do need an 'educated' partner. And to lead it you need an even better educated partner. On Monday night I led it with a complete beginner, with no warning or verbal signal/coaching or anything - this woman is a highly trained dancer was the best MJ beginner I've ever met: I think I will become her stalker if she keeps dancing.

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper
    Drops need permission.
    .. and room to do them safely. Preferably a different room

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper
    Some moves take verbal leads.
    Can't think of any MJ move that needs a verbal lead.
    Last edited by Andy McGregor; 19th-January-2005 at 01:42 PM.

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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    I don't want verbal during the dance (unless it's something really witty
    I find ZW does enjoy the odd proposition during the close moves. And she never says no - she doesn't say yes either, just looks at you enigmatically

  8. #88
    Registered User Zebra Woman's Avatar
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor
    I find ZW does enjoy the odd proposition during the close moves. And she never says no - she doesn't say yes either, just looks at you enigmatically
    Oh yes Andy, I do enjoy your verbal.

    So witty! I guess it leaves me speechless sometimes

    Did we add 'Hair Pulling' to the list of things to be agreed before the dance?

    ZW

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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    Did we add 'Hair Pulling' to the list of things to be agreed before the dance?

    ZW
    .. and playful neck nibbling

  10. #90
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    Did we add 'Hair Pulling' to the list of things to be agreed before the dance?

    ZW
    NO NO NO!

    That's something that ONLY works for me when I'm taken by surprise!
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  11. #91
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    Did we add 'Hair Pulling' to the list of things to be agreed before the dance?

    ZW
    I was meaning it more in terms of a special request actually.

    eg.

    'Andy , don't forget I love it when you dip me and pull my hair....'

  12. #92
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    I was meaning it more in terms of a special request actually.

    eg.

    'Andy , don't forget I love it when you dip me and pull my hair....'
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory


    I liken a dance to a conversation between two people...

    The music is the subject....

    I hate it when the conversation is one too sided... I like to be listened too as well

    It's fabulous when I feel I've learnt something, having someone share there knowledge with me, makes me feel richer for the experience

    I hate being shouted at or talked down to, it's very frustrating when someone's just likes to listen to the sound of their own voice, yes, we can hear you but your talking crap!

    Banter and wit, is always very welcome!

    And some of the sweetest conversations are almost whispered, very subtle indeed, you feel totally relaxed and in tune with your partner, there's no need to prove anything cos you already agree on the subject.
    Lory's post is absolutely spot on - the number of times that I have tried to add a flourish, say on the end of a change places to find that the Guy has impatiently pulled me off my feet!! I then give up trying to improvise and just follow until they have finished 'their' dance!

    Agree with drops - test the water by doing a small one first and as for ariels, no way!!! Always, always ask!

    Some chap did a move with me at the week-end - put me behind him, facing the opposite direction and proceeded to put me onto his back whilst he leant forwards. The only thing I could do was to raise both my feet off the ground to preserve my back (I don't have a back problem - yet!). Because I sussed out what he wanted, he proceeded to do it again! For heavens sake, if I had a bad back, he could have crippled me - what was he thinking about!!

    Elaine

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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by ElaineB
    Some chap did a move with me at the week-end - put me behind him, facing the opposite direction and proceeded to put me onto his back whilst he leant forwards. The only thing I could do was to raise both my feet off the ground to preserve my back (I don't have a back problem - yet!). Because I sussed out what he wanted, he proceeded to do it again! For heavens sake, if I had a bad back, he could have crippled me - what was he thinking about!!

    Elaine
    So did you tell him off Elaine??? or make it clear the damage he could have done, or might do with such a move?

    A few women have complained about some moves - or some dancers - but rarely tell the man a move was painful, or dangerous. A polite refusal next time he asks??

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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill
    So did you tell him off Elaine??? or make it clear the damage he could have done, or might do with such a move?

    A few women have complained about some moves - or some dancers - but rarely tell the man a move was painful, or dangerous. A polite refusal next time he asks??
    I must confess that I didn't - I am sometimes too polite! But next time I see him I will explain to him why he shouldn't do that partic move - promise!


    Elaine

  16. #96
    Registered User Zebra Woman's Avatar
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by ElaineB
    I must confess that I didn't - I am sometimes too polite! But next time I see him I will explain to him why he shouldn't do that partic move - promise!


    Elaine
    Please do tell him Elaine, do it for WOMANKIND. We are right behind you.

    I love doing lay backs if I'm allowed to go back gently, but I was pushed back very quickly by my shoulder once, I think it was part of a choreographed dance routine. It really hurt. My back was sore for a month afterwards. I did say something to the guy the following week , not at the time cos it took a day for the injury to reveal itself. He took it very well and was glad to be told.

    And if he hadn't? Well that's that then.

    ZW

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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory


    [I liken a dance to a conversation between two people...]
    It's strange how the same things can be said but the manner of delivery can either bore or inspire.

    In the same way the same dance moves can be fantastic with one partner or dull with another.

    ''It's not what you do it's the way that you do it. It's not what you say it's the way that you say it.''

  18. #98
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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Commis Chef
    It's strange how the same things can be said but the manner of delivery can either bore or inspire.

    In the same way the same dance moves can be fantastic with one partner or dull with another.

    ''It's not what you do it's the way that you do it. It's not what you say it's the way that you say it.''
    Very very true

    It's not entirely down to the man though...I think the music is a big part of how the dance is received by me.


    Plus there are some moves where it really doesn't matter how they're done


    Multiple Pretzels

    I'm afraid I'd much rather eat them thanks

    ZW

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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by spindr
    If you *have* to step back, then it somewhat suggests that either you are off balance when spinning, or have been led off balance.

    I think a better formulation of your leading axiom, is that the leader shouldn't lead a new move while their follower is unbalanced. Of course, there's the corresponding following axiom -- which is that a follower should always keep their own balance during the move Add them together and you have a good recipe.

    SpinDr.
    This IS a good way to express it, but I also understood what Cheeks was saying in the post you quoted. As I read it, I didn't think there was a suggestion that the lady would step back without being led, rather that some leaders make it very hard for the lady to spin in balance or to prepare for the next step, NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIES, at it's worst when the beginnings and endings of moves are skipped. Sometimes it's the man's fault that the lady is off balance, not a question of poor technique on her part. Although sometimes it is, of course.

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    Re: Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    Very very true

    It's not entirely down to the man though...I think the music is a big part of how the dance is received by me.


    Plus there are some moves where it really doesn't matter how they're done


    Multiple Pretzels

    I'm afraid I'd much rather eat them thanks

    ZW
    Single or multiple it is not a very alluring move and should be avoided at all costs,( except the very slow tortuous version !!!)

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