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Thread: "I'm not really any good"

  1. #21
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor
    I'd hate to dance with a guy I thought was judging me
    And you'd lie if you said that you didn't judge. To call 'rating the level of the person you dance with' something else but judging is in my eyes only semantics. At the end of the day everybody does it because otherwise we'd never say 'this and that one is a great dancer (or not)'. What you do with such a judgement is something completely different. And at the end of the day, if somebody you ask for a dance tell you that she is not a good dancer then she implies straight away that she is being judged. So telling her 'let me be the judge', in fact, is more reassuring than disturbing because it means 'I do not care what others think about your dancing'.

  2. #22
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Andreas
    And you'd lie if you said that you didn't judge. To call 'rating the level of the person you dance with' something else but judging is in my eyes only semantics. At the end of the day everybody does it because otherwise we'd never say 'this and that one is a great dancer (or not)'. What you do with such a judgement is something completely different. And at the end of the day, if somebody you ask for a dance tell you that she is not a good dancer then she implies straight away that she is being judged. So telling her 'let me be the judge', in fact, is more reassuring than disturbing because it means 'I do not care what others think about your dancing'.
    Of course you are right that we judge each other all of the time. Even during sex

    And this had reminded me of one of the things I often say when people say they're not very good. I say "who told yuo that?" And at the end of the dance I can say that they were wrong. I've very, very rarely had a bad dance with a woman and I've had loads of bad dances with men. Women can usually follow and those that can lead are always good at it. On the other hand, I've had some dreadful dances with guys who can't lead or even hear the beat

  3. #23
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost
    What can you say if you ask a lady to dance and she says
    "I'm not really any good" ?
    I say 'You think you've got problems - both my legs are made of wood....and they only had lefts"

  4. #24
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe
    I say 'You think you've got problems - both my legs are made of wood....and they only had lefts"

    Straight into my list of great replies.

    DJ Chris Uren

  5. #25
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor
    On the other hand, I've had some dreadful dances with guys who can't lead or even hear the beat
    Is that that banging sound going on as I dance. Oops.

    Must say that I rarely find a lady who is not OK to dance with. Havn't started dancing with the blokes yet.

    DJ Chris Uren

  6. #26
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    I used to say this when dancing away on weekenders (I'm not very good', never 'not any good') - what I really meant was 'I'm not as good as lots of other ladies in the room', by way of an apology in advance. I stopped saying it though because if someone has asked me to dance, well then, they have asked me to dance, why should I be apologising?

    I also discovered that if it was a dance where we talked (some do, some don't) and I mentioned about not attending any classes or dancing regularly in NI, occasionally some leads changed their dancing bringing it down a few levels - not what I wanted at all!

    Someone did say the 'I'm not very good' line to me at Storm - I said 'that's my line!' and we laughed. At the end of what was a very nice dance I said 'You lied'.

  7. #27
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    I don't have a stock answer, but most of what I say is inane and would include things like "We'll see about that." or "I don't believe you." or (If I do believe her!) "It doesn't matter." If someone is claiming "I'm just a beginner." I might answer "We all start somewhere." (Can you get more inane ) I think it's what you say during/after the dance which is more important.

    Greg

  8. #28
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheepman
    If someone is claiming "I'm just a beginner."
    Surely not!!

  9. #29
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe
    I say 'You think you've got problems - both my legs are made of wood....and they only had lefts"

    I like this because I think the problem is not so much whether I'm any good but more as Lynn says
    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn
    what I really meant was 'I'm not as good as lots of other ladies in the room', by way of an apology in advance.
    I like this too
    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn
    Someone did say the 'I'm not very good' line to me at Storm - I said 'that's my line!' and we laughed. At the end of what was a very nice dance I said 'You lied'.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sheepman
    I don't have a stock answer {snip - good lines}
    I think it's what you say during/after the dance which is more important.
    Agreed. What I find is I can get the lady settled down and happy with the fact that I actualy am having a great time with her in about 30secs to a minute. I'm looking for something extra to get the time down hence a line to help get her reassured before we start dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheepman
    If someone is claiming "I'm just a beginner."
    Pretty much I don't believe them on principle I take this to mean they want to be treated like a beginner which I'm very happy to do It's nice to have a gentle, simple dance.

    Thanks
    Christopher

  10. #30
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe
    I say 'You think you've got problems - both my legs are made of wood....and they only had lefts"
    Thanks DS, I'll use this one next time...

    Her: "Sorry, I'm not very good"
    Me: "Don't worry. I know someone who dresses all in blue, wears a funny white hat, and has two left pegs made of oak!"



    My suggestion: "How's your dancing though? "

    (I am joking about the last, just in case )

    What I really say though, is something like "Don't worry, just relax, listen to the music, and enjoy yourself "

    Sometimes, I know I've utterred the words "Great, so you won't notice just how many ****-ups I'm about to make "

  11. #31
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    I think unless she has done something seriously wrong which can hurt her or yourself, then say something. Otherwise it's best not say anything at all. You'll find a beginner is most likely to say they're not really good at it, but neither of us really were to start with. At the end of the day, it's a social night and everyone is out to dance and have a good time. Let her get on with it and whether you are an experienced dancer or not, I think asking for a second dance helps to build their confidence up. Oh yeah, and to boost it up a bit more, maybe it is just a good idea to say that they are improving and nothing was wrong with their dancing. The more confident they become, the better they will pick it up and get better at it.

  12. #32
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Gojive
    Me: "Don't worry. I know someone who dresses all in blue, wears a funny white hat, and has two left pegs made of oak!"

    pah - finest B&Q MDF

  13. #33
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Gojive
    Thanks DS, I'll use this one next time...

    Her: "Sorry, I'm not very good"
    Me: "Don't worry. I know someone who dresses all in blue, wears a funny white hat, and has two left pegs made of oak!"
    Think I might use this as Know AM too, so I won't be lying either


  14. #34
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    "Let's pretend you are" seems to be working well

    Be Well,
    Christopher

  15. #35
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Down here, the CMJ competitions are being heavily promoted. So recently when women have told me they're no good, I've said "We're just dancing a song or two, not trying for the comps".

  16. #36
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    Re: "I'm not really any good"

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost
    What can you say if you ask a lady to dance and she says
    "I'm not really any good" ?

    So far
    "Not a problem"
    "Me either"
    "Ok"

    haven't quite worked the way I'd hoped

    I get what's being conveyed and am happy to be gentle and just dance the same 2 moves over and over for the whole track if need be I just want a good one liner to put the lady at her ease.

    Thanks
    Christopher
    Tee hee Reminds me of my first freestyle I was just watching and someone who is a really good dancer came and asked me to dance. I just stammered out "I'm only a beginner"
    He was really upset and snapped "I do KNOW beginners moves"
    We danced I didn't fall over or wet myself
    so that was okay..

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