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Thread: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

  1. #21
    Registered User Tazmanian Devil's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yliander
    why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?

    can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances
    Quote Originally Posted by pjay
    I think that if you're interested you should make the opportunities to talk to him/her further, so that there is more than just dancing to base the question on.

    I have many dancers numbers and have only ever dated one. I personally don't think that exchanging numbers has to be about romantic interests but if you do like the person romantically then after you have friendly exchanged nubers then go out for a meal/drink and you never know something may come of it!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Clive Long
    You are dancing with someone. All is syncing up. You are not thinking too much, just moving. You have a second dance. Then the end of the second track.

    Now the Ceroc challenge. You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.

    So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance? Is that behaviour considered to breach "acceptable" behaviour and no-one could consider a "dance is just a dance"? Would it spoil the "dance bubble"?

    (*) Note: Male may ask female, female may ask male and any other combination is considered equivalent.

    Edit: There is supposed to be a poll attached to this but I can't write short
    questions.
    I did wonder why we had a few dances on the trot why didn't you just ask sweetie

  2. #22
    Not a spoon! Lou's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by Tazmanian Devil
    then after you have friendly exchanged nubers
    Blimey! You do that on a first date?!

  3. #23
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by LMC
    { snip vast amount of stuff }


    Quote Originally Posted by LMC
    Anyone brave enough to post the male thought process? - is there one?
    I'm fairly sure the male thought process is simpler than that...

    Quote Originally Posted by Yliander
    why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?
    Because that's The Signal. It's the soft version of asking a girl out - but less traumatic than asking for a date proper, because it allows both parties to pretend they're just friends exchanging numbers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yliander
    can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances
    Theoretically, yes. Realistically, almost certainly not - in the same way that the guy asking you out for dinner might just be expressing friendship...

  4. #24
    Registered User El Salsero Gringo's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by LMC
    Anyone brave enough to post the male thought process? - is there one?
    Well, I was going to post a detailed reply but it was *still* only two lines long.

  5. #25
    Not a spoon! Lou's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    Quote Originally Posted by Clive Long
    So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance?
    Not at all. The best way is to wait until the end of the track & remain chatting on the dance floor. Trampy will then proceed to pointedly knock into you, resulting in the perfect excuse to escort the lady to safety. Who could refuse to give their phone number (or e-mail address, I'm told...) to such a perfect gent?

  6. #26
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by El Salsero Gringo
    Well, I was going to post a detailed reply but it was *still* only two lines long.
    OK, from what I dimly recall of such matters, I can't recall ever doing the "asking for a phone number" thing. From the chemistry of the dance, it was either very very obvious - or it wasn't.

    So, that probably helped not at all then. But I got 3 lines...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lou
    Not at all. The best way is to wait until the end of the track & remain chatting on the dance floor. Trampy will then proceed to pointedly knock into you, resulting in the perfect excuse to escort the lady to safety. Who could refuse to give their phone number (or e-mail address, I'm told...) to such a perfect gent?
    I think it's time to resurrect the MFFY service

  7. #27
    Registered User El Salsero Gringo's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames
    OK, from what I dimly recall of such matters, I can't recall ever doing the "asking for a phone number" thing.
    Yeah, but you need some way to get in touch to return her underwear.

  8. #28
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by El Salsero Gringo
    Yeah, but you need some way to get in touch to return her underwear.
    Yeah, Fletch - did you get that guy's number?

  9. #29
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    Any time I've been asked for my number - its never been just after a dance - a couple of dances, then the guy has come over to sit down and chat (but then I'm more likely to be sitting down as I tend to wait to be asked to dance, I suppose that wouldn't work if the woman never sits down) - then after chatting for a couple of tracks, the guy has asked for my number.* If he asked for a number just after a dance I wouldn't really be impressed, there might have been a great connection in the dance, I might even have been equally attracted at that level, but if he didn't take the time to actually talk to me, knows nothing about me except the dancing, that would just make me think he goes round asking for women's phone numbers every time he has a good dance.

    (*Incidentally this hasn't happened here in NI at Ceroc - only ever when I'm dancing in England, and by that stage they will know I live in NI, so can't just meet up for dinner the next week...but when a guy does express interest knowing I live pretty far away, must admit, that can be an extra brownie point. Depending on the guy of course!)

    I've never given my number, most guys perservere and gives me theirs. But I haven't ever rung! However, I would be more inclined to give my email address, or if not - if a guy gave me his I do usually email him. Some email conversations can then lead on to number swaps.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yliander
    why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?

    can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances
    Of course it doesn't have to be 'romantic' - I've come home from every dance weekender I've been on with at least one guy's email - and I'm pretty sure its just been 'being friendly' in almost every case (though I'm amazingly dense when it comes to these things ). I swapped emails this weekend with a guy - not romantic, just wanting to stay in touch.

    However with the topic of this thread, I presume it is meant in a 'I fancy this person, how can I make contact with them' sort of way. And along those lines - make time to chat to her after dancing, offer to buy her a drink - she'll have to sit down for a track to drink it then you can chat. Then ask for number, if she hesitates, try for an email address.
    Quote Originally Posted by Clive Long
    You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.
    If you are really interested you find the time to chat and find somewhere to chat. Its always possible if you make the effort - and if she's worth it, you will.

  10. #30
    Registered User Clive Long's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    I wish to point out I have started this thread on behalf of a friend.
    Quote Originally Posted by LMC
    Personally I would never ask for a 3rd dance in a row because it feels greedy, but if they want to carry on then it's very flattering, whatever the motivation.
    Is five dances (I think it was five) in a row a bit excessive? Or selfish? Forget that, I don't want to high-jack my own thread.


    CRL

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    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by Clive Long
    I wish to point out I have started this thread on behalf of a friend.
    Don't tell me his name was Stewart / Stuart / Stewert?

    71 to go... 71 to go...

  12. #32
    Cheeky by nature Little Monkey's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    I don't think I've ever been asked for my phone number after just dancing with a guy once or twice....

    But I've been asked by guys I've met and danced with on a number of occasions, and it's been everything from "I really like dancng with you, shall we swap numbers so we can arrange to meet at a dance somewhere soon?", "Can I have your number, I'd really like to get to know you better" to "If I asked you for your number, would your big scary boyfriend come and beat the sh*t out of me?"

    I think how people ask, and how people react to being asked, is completely personal and subjective, and will differ from person to person. So, "Clive's friend", just do what you think / feel is right! I personally think it's flattering (at least in about 90% of the cases, apart from when the guy is just rude / crude) that a guy likes me and wants my number, or wants to ask me out, even if I don't fancy him. Always nice to have a wee bit of an ego boost!

  13. #33
    Registered User stewart38's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost

    "Hi babe, here's my number - call me"
    Works for me

  14. #34
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    E-Mail/ phone number its doesnt really matter, if there is a connection you will get it

    You also dont have to be so forward

    You could say if you ever dancing at 'winsdor' maybe i could see you there ,whats your nos or e-mail ? etc so we could catch up sometime. Its fairly vague but gives you the contact details. If she/he doesnt want to give out the information move on

    This doesnt have to be 'dating' of course it could be just wanting to dance with them again as 'friends'

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    Registered User Tessalicious's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey
    "If I asked you for your number, would your big scary boyfriend come and beat the sh*t out of me?"
    Was this in London? - if so, I'm sure I've met the guy that asks like that...

  16. #36
    Registered User El Salsero Gringo's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etique

    Quote Originally Posted by stewart38
    You also dont have to be so forward

    You could say if you ever dancing at 'winsdor' maybe i could see you there ,whats your nos or e-mail ? etc so we could catch up sometime. Its fairly vague but gives you the contact details. If she/he doesnt want to give out the information move on
    Good lord, why do you have to be so 'un-forward' - backward? - about it? Just say what you mean, don't **** about with 'catch up sometime' when you want a date.

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    Ceroc N.I. Franchise Owner drathzel's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    or you could always ask his mate loudly enough for him to hear, if you could have his mobile number.

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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    I've only been asked out once whilst dancing and I'm now married to him!!

    We'd been chatting and dancing for a few months, then we went to lunch together at a Sunday workshop, and then the next evening he asked me out. I meant to say no (long story), but he asked me if I'd like to go for a drink, just as someone else asked me for a dance - I said yes to both of them!! The rest (as they say) is history.

    Bop

  19. #39
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey
    I don't think I've ever been asked for my phone number after just dancing with a guy once or twice....
    Or even after several dances on a single night for that matter.

    If a guy is really interested he will find you. He'll find out where you dance (either by asking directly or asking around) and he'll make the effort to let you know he's interested.

    Doing a bit of 'leg work', as Lynn suggests, certainly earns you brownie points. But it's possible to ruin it all by saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.

    Don't rush, relax and get to know her a bit first and make sure you're both really on the same page. Then, when you feel the time is right, be open and honest and say what you really want - if it's a date, say so, if it's friendship that's cool too.

    S. x

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    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkles
    If a guy is really interested he will find you. He'll find out where you dance (either by asking directly or asking around) and he'll make the effort to let you know he's interested.


    Quote Originally Posted by drathzel
    or you could always ask his mate loudly enough for him to hear, if you could have his mobile number.
    OK I have another question - what's the ettiquette for passing on someone else's number? I was once chatted up at a dance (a rare occurance - the being chatted up bit, not the dance) by a friend of an accquaintance. He then got my number from his friend and rang to ask me out.* I wasn't entirely happy about my number being passed on like that.

    (*Another thing - he had seemed pretty keen the night I met him, but didn't ring me till about 3 months later - what was all that about?)

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