There is only one rigid 'law' of dancing: don't cause harm. However there are several moral/ethical codes that exist where (MJ) dancers congregate. It is these that make the social 'togetherness' of a venue/night/class/event:
- don't stand on the dance floor unless you are dancing.
- don't carry drinks accross a floor.
- don't walk through a floor with dancers on it.
- etc.
amoung these are the codes of
- Accept every dance offer.
- Dance with new faces and new dancers.
Whether you agree or disagree with these codes does not matter - they are there. It is part of the social dance scene. If you disregard them and can dance well, then it can be assumed that you know these rules and are snubbing them.
There may be a pefectly sound and acceptable reason - again, it does not matter - it is the action (or lack thereof) that goes against the dancer. Not the reasoning behind it.
Correct: their decision. And if they are an experienced dancer, then they will know the social expectations of them by turning up at a class. By refusing to live up to these, by refusing to follow the social guidelines, they run the risk of branding themselves outside of acceptable social guidelines. And since they have placed themselves there, self-centred and elitist.
Beginners don't yet know the social expectations and guidelines, so are therefore granted amnesty until they do.
So this is the problem related to
not saying "no" rather than problems related to getting yankers to stop yanking, letches to stop letching and stinkers to stop stinking?
If this is the concern about refusal, then I would suggest that it is not the ethos of accepting every dance that needs to be softened, but the non-acceptance of other anti-social behaviours that needs strengthening. If you are standing up for the rights of one form of anti-social behaviour (ie refusal) then what does that imply about other forms like those mentioned above?
And this is a problem with the social situation of "Must not refuse" and not one of "Confrontation"? If the dancer in question is unwilling to broach the subject to the problem partner, Taxis and Teachers are approachable about nuisance dancers. As are most experienced dancers.
With the 'must dance' ethos, there is also more likleyhood of people like this being found and rehabilitated.
There is no such thing as an unbreakable rule - even the "No harm" {I would inflict a small pain on my partner to avoid a larger pain} However I just hate the
"It's OK to do what you want" and
"I've paid; my money - I don't have to follow your rules."
Everyone is following these 'rules'. Then someone says "I know that rule, but I'm going to step over it." Combine this with the fact that they are a good dancer and you get the summary: "I am too good for these rules to apply to me." or even worse; "I have paid good money so that these rules don't apply to me." This is where the perspecitve of "Elitist" or "Hotshot" dancers comes from.
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