You bounced too much

[stewart38]

I was dancing with a beginner the other night (been about 3 times) and she told me, she had been told to 'bounce less'.

Now for me she wasnt bouncing and she seem fine ,after I told her 1/6th of the way into the dance 'forget' about trying not to 'bounce' just dance .


I think if a beginner has a death like grip etc we should tell them but i often wonder why so early on we can put them off on vague comments such as bounce less ,your not picking up the rythem, watch what foot your moving etc

Let them just dance in free style and ENJOY their first few weeks

[WittyBird]

I completely agree with what your saying on this....

You so motivated me when I first started dancing and not once did you utter the words
'you aint ever gonna get this" or "try moving your hips"

I think you are an inspiration to all and nothing but the best of sarcasm is put into everything you do I thank you

[ChrisA]

I think if a beginner has a death like grip etc we should tell them but i often wonder why so early on we can put them off on vague comments such as bounce less ,your not picking up the rythem, watch what foot your moving etc

Even a death-like grip is likely (at the beginning) to be caused by feeling tense, so it isn't necessarily helpful just to tell them not to grip - it's quite likely to make them more tense, and as soon as they forget, they'll start gripping again.

I agree, eejits giving poor advice is a bad thing on the dancefloor. Particularly since telling people not to do something is often the very worst thing you can do, unless you also tell them what they should be doing instead.

And not all that many people are good enough at knowing what the follower (if they are a leader) should be doing to have any chance of being able to explain it properly.

My feeling is that if you don't have anything helpful to say, the very least you can do is to shut up, and this applies very much to wannabee teachers (aka not very good intermediate dancers) on the dance floor.

[El Salsero Gringo]

Even a death-like grip is likely (at the beginning) to be caused by feeling tense, so it isn't necessarily helpful just to tell them not to grip - it's quite likely to make them more tense, and as soon as they forget, they'll start gripping again.

Nah - I tell beginners to take their thumbs off the back of my hand, not for their benefit, but for mine: because I find it uncomfortable. As soon as the thumb goes back on - I tell them again. Because I still find it uncomfortable. If the thumb goes back on again - at any stage in the dance - I ask them please to take their thumb away. And so it goes on.

Ditto if they're yanking me: I ask them not to. I'm not improving their dance, I'm making mine more pleasant.

My feeling is that if you don't have anything helpful to say, the very least you can do is to shut up...

Promise?

[TiggsTours]

Nah - I tell beginners to take their thumbs off the back of my hand, not for their benefit, but for mine: because I find it uncomfortable. As soon as the thumb goes back on - I tell them again. Because I still find it uncomfortable. If the thumb goes back on again - at any stage in the dance - I ask them please to take their thumb away. And so it goes on.

Ditto if they're yanking me: I ask them not to. I'm not improving their dance, I'm making mine more pleasant. Promise?

Once bad habits are formed, they are hard to break, best to get into the correct practice right from the start. There's right ways and wrong ways to do it though, tell someone with a smile, demonstrate (carefully) what happens when its done wrong.

The thumb on the back of the hand can cause injuries, so I would always point that out to a beginner, however bouncing, not dancing to the music, getting all flustered when it goes wrong, or looking at your feet all the time don't so I'd never get a beginner all hung up over that, let them enjoy the dancing, then iron out those issues over time, that's my philosphy.

[Trish]

Nah - I tell beginners to take their thumbs off the back of my hand, not for their benefit, but for mine: because I find it uncomfortable. As soon as the thumb goes back on - I tell them again. Because I still find it uncomfortable. If the thumb goes back on again - at any stage in the dance - I ask them please to take their thumb away. And so it goes on.

Ditto if they're yanking me: I ask them not to. I'm not improving their dance, I'm making mine more pleasant.

Yes, I'm with you on that really, although I'd try to encourage them at the same time and tell them what would work better. And to some extent if you don't tell them nicely at the beginning, surely they'll then go away with the idea that what they're doing everything perfectly ok? If no-one tells them how are they supposed to know?

[stewart38]

Yes, I'm with you on that really, although I'd try to encourage them at the same time and tell them what would work better. And to some extent if you don't tell them nicely at the beginning, surely they'll then go away with the idea that what they're doing everything perfectly ok? If no-one tells them how are they supposed to know?

No the women was told by a man who danced with her 'dont bounce too much'.

She told me this 'ie I must not bounce too much' as we started to dance and she asked two times in seconds am I bouncing ?

So very early on in the dance I said your not 'bouncing' and just enjoy the dance.

Im not talking about the lessons , when she relaxed she danced better , i cant explain it in words

[Trousers]

Bouncing is a difficult one in my book - i don't like leading a bouncer - generally they take tooooooo many steps and thus cant respond to me as fast as I'd like but i would never say anything to a bouncer

I used to dance with a girl in Guildford who, I was told by her friend after she found out the bouncy girls nick name was Skippy! had deliberately perfected the bouncy dance technique because she thought it looked better. When posed against logic like that i just roll over and give in.

But I will stick my two penneth in, if i think it might help and not offend. Example beginner ladies who can spin always always spin as fast as possible even when the track is slooooooooow. I do a quick risk assessment - Do I know this woman - will I see her again - does she look like waynetta slob - is she bigger than me and can i see the exit clearly? Then I will get her in a first move and suggest she takes more time with her spins as the music is slow, then add quickly - you are very good at spinning but this is a slow track and we have lots of time.

Some times it works sometimes I ask the DJ to get the knife out of my back before I go home!

[fletch]

One of my friends was told she bounces by a guy at Stockport and she hasn't been since there is nothing we can say to persuade her to come (shame) people find there own style isn't it all about enjoying dancing and been a bit tolerant, non of us a perfect, just different.

[stewart38]

Yes, I'm with you on that really, although I'd try to encourage them at the same time and tell them what would work better. And to some extent if you don't tell them nicely at the beginning, surely they'll then go away with the idea that what they're doing everything perfectly ok? If no-one tells them how are they supposed to know?

NOOOOOOOOOOO

Im not talking about the class or with a Taxi dancer or in the lessons

I dont want to tell someone 'what would work better' when its basically her third time and she has ventured on the dance floor

Its not about lying to her or refusing to ans if she says

'The last guy said im bouncing too much'

I could say yes you are try this etc

I could say no forget about that just enjoy the dance , you dont bounce anyway ( I said that and meant it)

or above and mean it

Its meant to be FUN

I think the look on her face when i said stop worrying if you bounce too much would explain it a lot better then I can

I think if i told her 'hey lads a new skippy here' we may not have seen her again

[Trish]

NOOOOOOOOOOO

Im not talking about the class or with a Taxi dancer or in the lessons

I dont want to tell someone 'what would work better' when its basically her third time and she has ventured on the dance floor

Its not about lying to her or refusing to ans if she says

'The last guy said im bouncing too much'

I could say yes you are try this etc

I could say no forget about that just enjoy the dance , you dont bounce anyway ( I said that and meant it)

or above and mean it

Its meant to be FUN

I think the look on her face when i said stop worrying if you bounce too much would explain it a lot better then I can

I think if i told her 'hey lads a new skippy here' we may not have seen her again

ok, ok I get your point, no need to shout at me! And really no need to reply to me twice, I hadn't had time to read your first reply.

I can see both sides to this, although I have some sympathy with the guy that was trying to get her not to bounce, as bouncy and yanking dancers are what's knackered my shoulders. However I never said I would do this, only that if they were yanking/grabbing and hurting me I would tell them this - it was ESG's post I was replying to, with your circumstance I hadn't decided what I'd do so therefore I hadn't replied! (Surely it would depend on the extent of bouncing to some extent?) And yes, with what I said it's when I'm taxiing that I'm talking about really.

Sorry if I annoyed you, but we're all entitled to our opinions.

[Lee]

When is the best time to advise people about things like this, do you assume it's the taxis role, or do you dance with them once but never again because you are too embarrassed to advise without hurting their feelings?

I struggle to understand the best approach, surely we should help and advise everyone we come across? But then what if they turn out to be someone that has danced for years and is just rubbish?



Lee

[Bangers & Mash]

I think if a beginner has a death like grip etc we should tell them but i often wonder why so early on we can put them off on vague comments such as bounce less ,your not picking up the rythem, watch what foot your moving etc

Hmmm, Edinburgh used to have a real bopper! It was like dancing with a pogo stick! I used to think it was my bad lead and weak dance that meant I couldn't cope with it until I watched the result when she grabbed both Trampy and Franck for a dance in the same night.

Both remained as polite as possible but their facial expressions were hilarious. I remember she made Trampy look like he was playing basketball.

[Lee]

Hmmm, Edinburgh used to have a real bopper! It was like dancing with a pogo stick! I used to think it was my bad lead and weak dance that meant I couldn't cope with it until I watched the result when she grabbed both Trampy and Franck for a dance in the same night.

Both remained as polite as possible but their facial expressions were hilarious. I remember she made Trampy look like he was playing basketball.

So what do ya do? I would like to see everyones idea of how to handle this situation.

[Bangers & Mash]

So what do ya do? I would like to see everyones idea of how to handle this situation.

Let go. Jump up and down as well and say "I wonder if they've got 'Come on Eileen'?"

[stewart38]

ok, ok I get your point, no need to shout at me! And really no need to reply to me twice, I hadn't had time to read your first reply.

I can see both sides to this, although I have some sympathy with the guy that was trying to get her not to bounce, as bouncy and yanking dancers are what's knackered my shoulders. However I never said I would do this, only that if they were yanking/grabbing and hurting me I would tell them this - it was ESG's post I was replying to, with your circumstance I hadn't decided what I'd do so therefore I hadn't replied! (Surely it would depend on the extent of bouncing to some extent?) And yes, with what I said it's when I'm taxiing that I'm talking about really.

Sorry if I annoyed you, but we're all entitled to our opinions.

sorry wasnt shouting and it was to a different point you made not the same one

[stewart38]

When is the best time to advise people about things like this, do you assume it's the taxis role, or do you dance with them once but never again because you are too embarrassed to advise without hurting their feelings?

I struggle to understand the best approach, surely we should help and advise everyone we come across? But then what if they turn out to be someone that has danced for years and is just rubbish?



Lee

Ive lost the will to live and dive out window

As i didnt think she was a bouncer i dont think id tell her she was one

Should I 'help and advise' everyone i meet thats very patronising i think

Id def find her next week and dance with her

I havent explain myself at all well

[Ghost]

So what do ya do? I would like to see everyones idea of how to handle this situation.

Ok purely as a "this is what I do" rather than "This is the ultimate answer"

If it's just hand bouncing we're talking about, I let them do it. But I lead smoothly. It's up to them to bounce my hand at the beats. Quite a few people settle down and stop doing it when they realise that I know where the beats are and can lead them so in effect, they don't need to know when the beats are.

I assume one of two things happens - they either evolve a really cool version of the bouncy hands style - I know one such lady - or they get used to feeling the beat and so don't need to bounce their hands anymore. I tend to think of it the equivalent of counting on your fingers to do maths.

If anyone specifically asks me anything about their dance style, I will answer truthfully and to the best of my ability, but not brutally. The only piece of advice I offer is at the beginning of a dance to someone who's told me they're a beginner or "not very good" and it is this
"All you need to know is this - whatever happens, just relax and keep moving. It'll all be fine"

But that's me.

Take care,
Christopher

[Lee]

I do a quick risk assessment - Do I know this woman - will I see her again - does she look like waynetta slob - is she bigger than me and can i see the exit clearly? Then I will get her in a first move and suggest she takes more time with her spins as the music is slow, then add quickly - you are very good at spinning but this is a slow track and we have lots of time.

Some times it works sometimes I ask the DJ to get the knife out of my back before I go home!

I might opt for this option.

[Lee]

Ive lost the will to live and dive out window

As i didnt think she was a bouncer i dont think id tell her she was one

Should I 'help and advise' everyone i meet thats very patronising i think

Id def find her next week and dance with her

I havent explain myself at all well

I wasn't just aiming this at you, i just trying to keep the question to the subject matter but it could also be aimed any any person you dance with, do you try to help when you see a problem in the dancing or walk away and leave it for someone else to deal with.