To Dip/Drop or not: Whose Responsibility?

[Gladrags]

In response to the recent thread about leaders asking followers whether or not they are comfortable with drops, a straight question would be - whose responsibility is it. So lets do a poll:

Should the lady inform the man if she is uncomfortable with drops, or should the man ask the lady?

And should this conversation take place at the start of every dance?

[Minnie M]

this is getting boring - sorry

[ducasi]

I don't think you can generalise dips and drops. I don't do drops normally. I do dips rarely. As I don't pre-plan the whole dance at the start I don't know if I'm going to use any. So I'm not going to ask at the start of the dance, so if there is any special reason why I shouldn't dip a lady, she'd better tell me.

Drops are a different matter but I'd imagine if I had never dropped a girl I'd ask her first. If I regularly dropped her though, I'd want her to let me know if there was any reason why she didn't want dropped.

So, I guess my answer comes down to if you don't want something to happen to you, make sure your partner knows.

[MartinHarper]

Like everything in a partner dance, it's a shared responsibility.

[Ghost]

Like everything in a partner dance, it's a shared responsibility.

While I agree with this, I suspect it would be annoying if the lady had to say "No drops" every time she was asked to dance. It's easier for the man to ask (previous arrangements are ok in my opinion). All you are doing is asking for the potential to drop her. Whether you actually do so then depends on the dance / music etc.

Take care,
Christopher

[Ickle Chick'n]

I was very suprised this weekend when a man asked me if I do drops. I figure if they ask they are more likely to know what they are doing as the ones who don't rarely ask anyhoo.

I'm fine with drops and love them but there are guys who have really hurt me and in some cases made me fear for my own safety. I think it is polite for a guy to ask, it doesn't have to be at the start of a dance, some have asked me just before they've planned to do a drop and a quick 'no' doesn't take long to utter and respond to if a lady isn't happy!

Also, ladies have the option to abort, in most cases if they are not happy, by putting a foot down, men shouldn't take offense in this case, as some have with me, as a lady might have a back problem etc that she doesn't normally or for what ever reason she is entitled to say no! Oe guy has kicked my feet out from under me before when I've aborted and to these kinda guys you shouldn't be allowed back on a dance floor...ever!!!

[DianaS]

I know my regular partners and they know me.. we dance I trust them neither of us get hurt
For guys I don't know I can feel very quickly if I'm going to trust them so when they ask drop I'll nod or shake. Normally there is a request a couple of beats before the drop and I'll agree or decline. Thats how it goes where I dance but in other areas its obviously different.

[Heather]

this is getting boring - sorry

Yawn, Yawn !!!!

Heather,
xx

[MartinHarper]

I suspect it would be annoying if the lady had to say "No drops" every time she was asked to dance. It's easier for the man to ask.

I suspect it would be annoying for a guy to have to say "would you be interested in some drops?" every time he asks someone to dance. I'm pretty sure that both men and women find it equally easy to open their mouth. It's just that guys tend to be better at putting a foot in it once open.

[Yliander]

In response to the recent thread about leaders asking followers whether or not they are comfortable with drops, a straight question would be - whose responsibility is it. So lets do a poll:

Should the lady inform the man if she is uncomfortable with drops, or should the man ask the lady?

And should this conversation take place at the start of every dance?

It's both parties responsibility

and it can take the form of a conversation at the start of the dance - as a follow if I am not doing any drops or dips (generally due to some part of my body having a tantrum then I will advise each new partner of the evening that I am not doing D&D today)

the other option is for the guy to lead them - but giving time for the lady to not complete the move if she desires - and girls just because he leads a d or d doesn't mean we have to do it.

[TiggsTours]

this is getting boring - sorry

Just how many threads are there now, on exactly the same subject?

[Nessa]

It's both parties responsibility

and it can take the form of a conversation at the start of the dance - as a follow if I am not doing any drops or dips (generally due to some part of my body having a tantrum then I will advise each new partner of the evening that I am not doing D&D today)

the other option is for the guy to lead them - but giving time for the lady to not complete the move if she desires - and girls just because he leads a d or d doesn't mean we have to do it.

How many times can I say in one response?

Right now I've got a bad neck, I'm dancing at venues where dips and drops are commonplace, I make a point of mentioning it to all my partners that I'd rather keep the dips small tonight thanks.

And also, as was pointed out in that mysterious other thread, the lady's always got the option of saying no to the lead, and if the man gets stroppy has the perfectly available option of laughing his male ego off the floor.

Hey I've made my mistake, dumped one of my good friends on the floor when I shouldn't have dipped her and she shouldn't have thrown herself into it. I'm VERY picky about who I dip now, and after the incident I took care to get a complete dip-stance and technique breakdown from a pair of the best teachers around.

Oh, and Yli? UPDATE! You can no longer claim to be located in Perth, whichever country it's in....

[timbp]

Oh, and Yli? UPDATE! You can no longer claim to be located in Perth, whichever country it's in....

But Nessa, have I ever led a move you don't approve?
(you've led many that surprised me!)

[Russell Saxby]

this is getting boring - sorry

but obvioulsy people still have things to say on the subject and it is a forum after all