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Thread: Eve .... worth a rib?

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    Commercial Operator Gus's Avatar
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    Eve .... worth a rib?

    An alternative version of Adam and Eve as told to me by a curate over dibber on Friday night….

    …And so it cam to pass that God realised that Adam needed a mate. And lo, did he go unto Adam and say thus, “Adam, I have for you a mate. She is a most wondrous creation, my finest work so far. She is beautiful, a perfect full figure, will fall for ever in love with you and will want no other. She will wash for you, clean for you and serve you all her days and ask for nothing in return. She will satisfy your EVERY need and will never have a headache, try to take you shopping for shoes or describe her menstrual process in detail. Yea, she will even know the offside rule in detail, find your jokes amusing and not try to give you directions. All this yet she will cost you only an arm and a leg.

    Adam mused over this proposition and responded thus, “Lord, truly I am grateful, but you ask much. What could you give me for just a rib?”

    … The question remains, did Adam make the right choice?

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    Registered User Feelingpink's Avatar
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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    An alternative version of Adam and Eve as told to me by a curate over dibber on Friday night….
    Was he a boy scout as well?

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    Registered User Rhythm King's Avatar
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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Feelingpink
    Was he a boy scout as well?
    No, a gardener.

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Heres another alternative telling of the birth of the human race, as told as if it was an IRC channel. For those of you who dont know what IRC is, it will make less sense for those that do, prepare to be highly amused...

    http://twc.sshunet.nl/~djstronk/ircb...s/genesis2.txt

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    No no no...you have it all wrong Craig.

    And so it goes, God created Eve and she was perfection.
    "Do you like everything that you are Eve?" asked God.

    "Well" she replied " I love everything, but i'm not too sure why i require 3 breasts"

    "I can fix that for you" said God, and he immediately removed one.
    "Now" he said "what shall i do with this useless T!t?"

    And then he created man

    Amen

    fc x

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by filthycute
    No no no...you have it all wrong Craig.

    And so it goes, God created Eve and she was perfection.
    "Do you like everything that you are Eve?" asked God.

    "Well" she replied " I love everything, but i'm not too sure why i require 3 breasts"

    "I can fix that for you" said God, and he immediately removed one.
    "Now" he said "what shall i do with this useless T!t?"

    And then he created man

    Amen

    fc x
    And Mr FC's view on this is????

  7. #7
    TiggsTours
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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    An alternative version of Adam and Eve as told to me by a curate over dibber on Friday night….

    …And so it cam to pass that God realised that Adam needed a mate. And lo, did he go unto Adam and say thus, “Adam, I have for you a mate. She is a most wondrous creation, my finest work so far. She is beautiful, a perfect full figure, will fall for ever in love with you and will want no other. She will wash for you, clean for you and serve you all her days and ask for nothing in return. She will satisfy your EVERY need and will never have a headache, try to take you shopping for shoes or describe her menstrual process in detail. Yea, she will even know the offside rule in detail, find your jokes amusing and not try to give you directions. All this yet she will cost you only an arm and a leg.

    Adam mused over this proposition and responded thus, “Lord, truly I am grateful, but you ask much. What could you give me for just a rib?”

    … The question remains, did Adam make the right choice?
    If God was saying all this to Adam, before even Eve came along, how would he understand the off-side rule? forgive me for asking, but how can one man play football on his own? This is obviously all a pack of lies!

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    Did Adam make the right choice?
    Yep. Imperfection is sexy.

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    She will wash for you, clean for you and serve you all her days and ask for nothing in return. She will satisfy your EVERY need and will never have a headache, try to take you shopping for shoes or describe her menstrual process in detail. Yea, she will even know the offside rule in detail, find your jokes amusing and not try to give you directions.

    She sounds really dull

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    Commercial Operator Gus's Avatar
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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alykat
    She sounds really dull
    "And that is why you fail young Luke ... you see but you do NOT understand" Quote from Yoda

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    Quote from Yoda
    Whilst I'm all for taking advice from Star Wars characters, I've never seen Yoda as much of a playa.
    "hmm, make you horny, do I? Lick my oversized green ears, would you?"
    And, of course, he would be terrible at modern jive.

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper
    Whilst I'm all for taking advice from Star Wars characters, I've never seen Yoda as much of a playa.
    You've obviously not seen some of the genetic mutations that exist on the London dance scene. It is living proof, as if any was needed, that women don't but the same importance on looks that men do!

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    Registered User wicked blue's Avatar
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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    You've obviously not seen some of the genetic mutations that exist on the London dance scene. It is living proof, as if any was needed, that women don't but the same importance on looks that men do!

    Surely that must mean that women have far more depth to them then

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    Commercial Operator Gus's Avatar
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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by wicked blue
    Surely that must mean that women have far more depth to them then
    Or they are too simple to realise what IS important? Either way, at least it gives us non-adonis guys at least the illusion of a chance!

    The only thing of depth relating to women is how deep your pockets have to be to keep them in shoes!

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    The only thing of depth relating to women is how deep your pockets have to be to keep them in shoes!
    Reminds me about the last time I went shoe shopping with the Missus:

    She'd found a (very expensive) pair she liked. She asked, "what do you think?"
    I said that I thought her knickers were coming down, at which point she said they weren't.
    "You can put the shoes back, then." said I.

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    Registered User Almost an Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    The only thing of depth relating to women is how deep your pockets have to be to keep them in shoes!
    Some of us have our own money to spend and don't need to have men buy us shoes - it's much more fun to buy your own especially when you know you've worked extra hard to get a special pair.

    And for those of you who are attached this also has the added bonus of them not knowing how many pairs of shoes you actually own!!

    Hey I've just found a great bonus of being single!!

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe
    Heres another alternative telling of the birth of the human race, as told as if it was an IRC channel. For those of you who dont know what IRC is, it will make less sense for those that do, prepare to be highly amused...

    http://twc.sshunet.nl/~djstronk/ircb...s/genesis2.txt
    This one's fun too:http://www.twc.sshunet.nl/~djstronk/.../exodus3-4.txt


    More from http://www.twc.sshunet.nl/~djstronk/ircbible

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    Or they are too simple to realise what IS important? Either way, at least it gives us non-adonis guys at least the illusion of a chance!

    The only thing of depth relating to women is how deep your pockets have to be to keep them in shoes!
    And that comment earns you first place in my list of people against the wall come the revolution!
    Who is the more simple? Someone who goes for looks and no substance or someone who at least has the intelligence to realise that looks fade and true relationships are built on things that last a lot longer.

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    Re: Eve .... worth a rib?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus
    "And that is why you fail young Luke ... you see but you do NOT understand" Quote from Yoda
    Firstly, my name's not Luke. Secondly, I'm not a Jedi. Thirdly, I've just realised why you look so strange when you dance, you really are Yoda aren't you? (I wouldn't mention this fact to MartinHarper if I were you!)

    Oh yeah, and more importantly, I'd rather "fail" (erm, define fail in this context please?!) and have an interesting life than succeed and be bored to tears!

    I think it would be more true to say that I see and understand but choose to ignore and have some fun

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