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Thread: Useful....

  1. #1
    Meglio del Cioccolato Demo
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    Useful....

    This might turn out useful...
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    Re: Useful....

    Quote Originally Posted by azande
    This might turn out useful...

    who is the most favoured recipient on the forum for one of these????

    After me of course....

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    Re: Useful....

    Quote Originally Posted by under par
    who is the most favoured recipient on the forum for one of these????
    I don't think he's here anymore...


  4. #4
    Meglio del Cioccolato Demo
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    Re: Useful....

    Quote Originally Posted by under par
    who is the most favoured recipient on the forum for one of these????

    After me of course....
    We could always add it to the BFG awards!

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    Registered User LMC's Avatar
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    Re: Useful....

    *immediately buys shares in manufacturing company*

    *orders several hundred boxes, yes officer, they are for personal use*

  6. #6
    Registered User DianaS's Avatar
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    Re: Useful....

    These are actual questions and answers found on the website of an Australian Tourism Organisation. As I said to Ray, we must never underestimate people’s ignorance, naivety or stupidity.

    Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.


    Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK.)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.


    Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.


    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


    Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
    A: What did your last slave die of?


    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.

    Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.

    Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.


    Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
    A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.

    Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.


    Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
    A: Only at Christmas.


    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
    A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

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