Blame the Women

[Minnie M]

An interesting theory I heard this weekend :-

As men are NEVER wrong isn't strange that when things do go wrong men (most men) twist the situation that it was the woman's fault

Even Adam blamed Eve for the whole Pandora's box saga etc.

And........... when a move doesn't quite go as planned, who's fault (applies to most beginner men)

[MartinHarper]

Even Adam blamed Eve for the whole Pandora's box saga etc.

You're mixing mythologies. Pandora was the girl with Pandora's box, whilst Eve was the girl with the apple from the tree of life.

Obviously this is my fault.

[Minnie M]

You're mixing mythologies. Pandora was the girl with Pandora's box, whilst Eve was the girl with the apple from the tree of life.

Obviously this is my fault.

yep

Whatever - Adam still blamed the woman

[David Bailey]

Whatever - Adam still blamed the woman

And then he went to live in New Zealand ...

[Minnie M]

And then he went to live in New Zealand ...

possible similarities with his namesake

[ducasi]

As men are NEVER wrong isn't strange that when things do go wrong men (most men) twist the situation that it was the woman's fault

I don't know if this is universal, but we are taught the two golden rules of Ceroc:

1. The men are always right.
2. It's always the man's fault.

The thinking is as it's the man who's leading, the woman should never question... But with that power comes responsibility... If there's a foul-up, it must have been his fault, as the woman was just doing what was asked of her.

Of course, this misses out a big assumption – that the woman has accepted that the man is always right and will actually follow him without question.

If a woman doesn't follow my lead, how can it be my fault when things go wrong?

(Some would say I just need to improve my lead so that the woman can't help but to follow... Don't worry... I'm trying, I'm trying! )

Getting back to the actual question... Outside of dancing... I've found that simply for a quiet life, it's sometimes easier just to take the blame, despite knowing that it was her fault all along.

[Minnie M]

.....The thinking is as it's the man who's leading, the woman should never question... If a woman doesn't follow my lead, how can it be my fault when things go wrong?

I have no problem (and I think I talk for all the ladies I know) following - even a bad lead - but if the timing is out and the lead is bad ......... no chance :

[CJ]

Minnie,

Should you not just be grateful to get out of the kitchen for a while and stop moaning??

[Minnie M]

Minnie,

Should you not just be grateful to get out of the kitchen for a while and stop moaning??

hmmm..... dangerous territory remember you have TWO females in your house now

[Icey]

There was an atricle in some national papers a little while ago about a couple in their 100's who had been married for 80 years

The husband was quoted as saying that the longevity of the marriage had something to do with his ability to say "Yes dear"

[Daisy]

Every fantastic dancer I have ever danced with has automatically, & without reservation, accepted the fault for any blip in the dance.

They will say it was them not leading well .....even though they were leading fantastically and the mistake was mine.

They are true gentlemen.

[Sparkles]

I am slowly coming to recognise that for me the best leads are not necessarily the ones with the most moves or the best musicality, but the ones that can compensate for all the mistakes I make without interrupting the flow of the dance ...

...Luckily for me the ones that seem to have mastered this art are also exceptional in all other areas of dance too

[DianaS]

A guy I danced with last night always wants me to twist all the way into him So that my nose is practically buried in his arm pit so that he can spin me out, (the neck brake jobbo)
I usually turn 3/4 so that my nose is facing across his chest and he corrects me verbally. Last night I explained why I don't like doing it the position and he laughed told me he'd had a good shower and that it would be okay.
I did, it was, end of story. But how do other people feel when their nose or face are right up against something they feel less than comfortable with? I do avoid it at all costs and it must be infuriating!

[Lory]

Every fantastic dancer I have ever danced with has automatically, & without reservation, accepted the fault for any blip in the dance.

They are true gentlemen.

the ones that can compensate for all the mistakes I make without interrupting the flow of the dance ...

And to add to those points, all MY favourite partners have the ability to make something 'positive' out of a mistake, whether it be a fabulous new variation or simply a light hearted joke, they NEVER make ME feel bad about it!

[Zebra Woman]

And to add to those points, all MY favourite partners have the ability to make something 'positive' out of a mistake, whether it be a fabulous new variation or simply a light hearted joke, they NEVER make ME feel bad about it!

I really really like mistakes...

So long as no-one gets hurt of course. They are the bits of the dance that make me laugh. Many a time we have sniggered to ourselves on the way home how this or that move went wrong. Oh how we laugh (in a nice way ).

The most perfect dances unless they really are perfect are somehow less memorable.

I think it's a natural part of human nature to focus on and remember mistakes more than the things we get right. I know if I ever lead a dance I really beat myself up over the things didn't do or got wrong. I wish I could feel as light about it as I do when I'm following. I have a lot of respect for the leads who can do that and have a laugh with us followers when it's all gone pear shaped .

Agree with Lory . Best of all is the creative turning of a mistake into a fabulous and unique new move.

[Sheepman]

all the mistakes I make

Mistakes? Who are you trying to kid?
Just now and then you might do something unexpected though!

I'm sure I've mentioned this on here somewhere before, that is, after the guy has led the move, he should then "follow" his partner while she executes the move. That way, if she does something unexpected, then you are more prepared to adapt what you're doing to avoid disrupting the dance. (Easy to say, but harder in practice!)

I've danced with dancers from all ranges of ability, from those whom I could barely dream of ever dancing with, to those whom I consider will never get it, and I'd rather not dance with them again! But it doesn't occur to me that when things go wrong it was my partner's fault, I just consider what should I be doing to make it work better.

Greg