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Thread: Jokes

  1. #121
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    Originally posted by Jayne
    hope this works...

    J
    Ah, the motto of the research scientist!

    (and the results, apparently )

  2. #122
    Sal
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    Just a quickie....

    President Bush and one of his advisors go for lunch in a fancy restaurant. After a quick look at the menus, the waitress appeared and asked what the gentlemen wanted.

    Bush replies "I fancy a quickie"

    The waitress stared in shock then stomped off in disgust.

    The advisor leaned over and whispered to Bush "Sir, it is pronounced quiche!"

  3. #123
    Angel with attitude! xSalsa_Angelx's Avatar
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    Q. How do you swat 200 flies at one time
    A. Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

    Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
    A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving

    Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
    A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles
    an hour.

    Q. What's the height of conceit?
    A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

    Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
    A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

    Q. Why do women call it PMS?
    A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

  4. #124
    Registered User Sandy's Avatar
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    Your jokes made me laugh out loud!

    Now who are you Salsa Angel??? Do you go on a Tuesday to Aberdeen class?? Will you be there tonight??

    Sandy

  5. #125
    Registered User Jayne's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Graham
    Ah, the motto of the research scientist!

    (and the results, apparently )

    J
    Attached Images Attached Images

  6. #126
    Angel with attitude! xSalsa_Angelx's Avatar
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    Hi Sandy.... glad I could make you laugh, I took out the dirty ones there were worse than then, but too rude to stick on the forum,

    Im Lynz, and I go to 'O' Donoghues on Thursday nights, might start going on Tuesday nights to Peterculter within the next 3 weeks, as my boyfriend is away in Norway working for a month then

    You will easily spot me, Good looking and Red hair doon tae ma ass..!!!!

  7. #127
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    Originally posted by xSalsa_Angelx
    Hi Sandy.... glad I could make you laugh, I took out the dirty ones there were worse than then, but too rude to stick on the forum,

    Im Lynz, and I go to 'O' Donoghues on Thursday nights, might start going on Tuesday nights to Peterculter within the next 3 weeks, as my boyfriend is away in Norway working for a month then

    You will easily spot me, Good looking and Red hair doon tae ma ass..!!!!
    Ah. Well make sure that you come along there on the 15th, as that'll be my first night, and I'll be very nervous. So will need lots of support from all the forum members...

    Steve

  8. #128
    Angel with attitude! xSalsa_Angelx's Avatar
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    will try and get along then steve, if not my first night there will be the 22nd,

  9. #129
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    Make sure that you come along and say hello then.

    I'll be easy to spot. I'll be the one with the CDs (well, mostly laptop actually I guess...)

    Steve

  10. #130
    Angel with attitude! xSalsa_Angelx's Avatar
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    Will do steve...
    In the meantime here is another joke I dug up from my Inbox

    Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
    "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love
    to his mistress.
    >Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
    >
    >"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery,
    >spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
    >
    >the inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
    >"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Mossie Quinn the
    >redneck from Kerry, 30, struck by lightning."
    >"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
    >"Thought he was having his picture taken."

  11. #131
    Sal
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    Originally posted by TheTramp
    Ah. Well make sure that you come along there on the 15th, as that'll be my first night, and I'll be very nervous. So will need lots of support from all the forum members...

    Steve
    I'll be there - looking forward to seeing you!

  12. #132
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    Originally posted by xSalsa_Angelx
    You will easily spot me, Good looking
    and so modest!

  13. #133
    Angel with attitude! xSalsa_Angelx's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Graham
    and so modest!
    Not really just taking the ****, but can't help what everyone think can I..???

  14. #134
    Registered User Grant's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Graham
    and so modest!
    you really are on form today Graham. something you ate...or just something you hate?

    Grant

  15. #135
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    Originally posted by Grant
    you really are on form today Graham. something you ate...or just something you hate?
    You're always making me out to be this nasty bully character, Grant, when really I'm just a warm cuddly kinda guy.

  16. #136
    Registered User Chicklet's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Graham
    , when really I'm just a warm cuddly kinda guy.
    absolutely, and he smiled at me once last night too

    I'm a lucky chickie

    (feel a poem coming on...)

  17. #137
    Papa Smurf
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    Originally posted by Chicklet


    (feel a poem coming on...)
    oh chickie my chickie
    feathers so yellow
    how do you feel
    when you dance with a fellow

    spinning and turning
    and suede shoes a flailing
    its really no wonder
    that your partners start failing

    the energy and passion
    that you bring to the dance
    leads all the guys leading
    to dream of romance

    so chickie, the next dance !
    will you dance with me
    cos i think its quite obvious
    im quite out my tree



    cheers

    er...sorry

  18. #138
    Angel with attitude! xSalsa_Angelx's Avatar
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    @ DS, Yeah you are completly outta your tree,

    Think I might just come behind you 2nd on that one too..!!

  19. #139
    Sal
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    DS, you were quite right in the "ceroc exams" thread, you really do have time on your hands today!

  20. #140
    Registered User Chicklet's Avatar
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    for DS, I'm really touched!!

    oh goodness gracious the pressure to compose a Smurf poem is going to keep me awake all night!!!!

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