Page 158 of 158 FirstFirst ... 58108148154155156157158
Results 3,141 to 3,145 of 3145

Thread: Jokes

  1. #3141
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Bristol
    Posts
    3,166
    Thanks
    548
    Thanked 430 Times in 274 Posts

    Rep Power
    9

    Re: Jokes

    OMG !!!!! I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi !, how are you ?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to ?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here !". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I said " rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, i will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions".

  2. #3142
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Sri Lanka
    Posts
    770
    Thanks
    136
    Thanked 163 Times in 93 Posts

    Rep Power
    6

    Re: Jokes

    Hans, a middle-aged German tourist on his first visit to Orlando, Florida, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, "No!" and walks quickly away.The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Hans. The sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.So she goes over to Hans and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.Hans leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Euros?"

  3. #3143
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Sri Lanka
    Posts
    770
    Thanks
    136
    Thanked 163 Times in 93 Posts

    Rep Power
    6

    Re: Deathwish

    A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as
    the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he
    immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman
    rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist and
    offered to help ease his "pain."
    "Please allow me to help, I am a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" She told him
    earnestly. "Ummph, oooh, nnnoo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied as he remained in the fetal position
    still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
    The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain". She began to massage his groin.
    After a few moments she asked, "does that feel better?" The man looked up at her and replied, "yes, that feels pretty good ...
    but my thumb still hurts like hell!"

  4. #3144
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    glasgow
    Posts
    503
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 103 Times in 77 Posts

    Rep Power
    6

    Re: Jokes

    Scottish girl and an English bloke walk into an elevator in an office building in India....
    Scot's girl says to the English guy...."it's getting worse in the office back home, too many chiefs and not enough....umm umm" ...

  5. #3145
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Sri Lanka
    Posts
    770
    Thanks
    136
    Thanked 163 Times in 93 Posts

    Rep Power
    6

    Re: Jokes

    The wife said to me last night ''If you turn the bedside lamp off I'll take it up the arse. Maybe I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Jokes
    By stewart38 in forum Fun and Games
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 28th-April-2006, 03:22 PM
  2. Scottish Jokes
    By StevanHogg in forum Fun and Games
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 19th-November-2005, 07:58 PM
  3. where has the Jokes thread gone??
    By under par in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 25th-October-2005, 12:37 AM
  4. Rofling at your own jokes...
    By MartinHarper in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 24th-February-2005, 12:33 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •