Dancing insecurities?

[Dreadful Scathe]

"Howsitgaun, doll? Maist ora music's mingin but yonsa stoater oa sang - gonnae git affyer bahookie an giesa jig aforera flair's fu o awra hotshots an wee herries?"

Was the DJ CJ ?

i'm wondering if any of the Southerners understood this

[Purple Sparkler]

"Howsitgaun, doll? Maist ora music's mingin but yonsa stoater oa sang - gonnae git affyer bahookie an giesa jig aforera flair's fu o awra hotshots an wee herries?"

i'm wondering if any of the Southerners understood this

Let me see if I can translate without any help, being a Southern Nancy. Well, a Southern Ellen, anyway:

"How are you, my dear? I will admit that the bally old music's rotten, what, but this particular number is a jolly old corker- would you care to relieve your posterior from its sitting position and cut a rug with me before the floor's too full of hotshots and Hooray Henries?"

[Petal]

*flattered* And this from a Taxi Dancer! (Must remember to send off the form...)

You deserve some rep, and i will give you some as soon as i find out how to.

[Sparkles]

out of 37 people I'm the only one with 'horrible hands'

[Purple Sparkler]

out of 37 people I'm the only one with 'horrible hands'

But you have lovely hands!

[Sparkles]

Not if you actually look at them *sigh*, but thanks.

[Gojive]

Let me see if I can translate without any help, being a Southern Nancy. Well, a Southern Ellen, anyway:

"How are you, my dear? I will admit that the bally old music's rotten, what, but this particular number is a jolly old corker- would you care to relieve your posterior from its sitting position and cut a rug with me before the floor's too full of hotshots and Hooray Henries?"

I tried to rep you Ellen, but have to spread it again first

[KatieR]

out of 37 people I'm the only one with 'horrible hands'

I dont believe that for a second Miss Sparkles! You have lovely hands! And dont you believe it either!

[Zebra Woman]

Not if you actually look at them *sigh*, but thanks.

I have never noticed that, I'm always looking at your smiling face and your shiny hair...

IMO Distraction is the best ploy.

I had a massive hole in the top of my tights once at the back. I think I'd pulled them up in a hurry after hearing my favourite song from inside the 'Ladies'. It was winter and I had pasty legs so I decided to smile and keep moving rather than take them off. I did proudly show it to a few close female friends too .

It's nice to see we're not alone but I think actually naming your insecurity on this thread is a bit like showing everyone the hole in your tights.

Another one....

Not sure if this is a 'Dancing Insecurty' or just a niggle :

I have several friends (female) who feel insecure about the fact that they are 'single'.

They don't want their exhuberant and enthusiastic enjoyment of dancing to be mis-interpreted (but sometimes they do ! ). The result is they feel that they have to be very calculated in the signals that they give off while dancing and how they appear to others.

If a guy is keen to buy them a drink have a chat wants their phone number etc. they haven't got a 'married' card that they can play to get out of it.

[El Salsero Gringo]

Not if you actually look at them *sigh*, but thanks.

So who's bothered about *looking*?

[JoC]

Petal, I can't believe what i'm reading these last couple of days!!!???!!!!

[Cruella]

I
Not sure if this is a 'Dancing Insecurty' or just a niggle :

I have several friends (female) who feel insecure about the fact that they are 'single'.

They don't want their exhuberant and enthusiastic enjoyment of dancing to be mis-interpreted (but sometimes they do ! ). The result is they feel that they have to be very calculated in the signals that they give off while dancing and how they appear to others.

If a guy is keen to buy them a drink have a chat wants their phone number etc. they haven't got a 'married' card that they can play to get out of it.

This is the same for a married woman too. I personally don't feel i can let myself go fully on the dancefloor. As a happily married lady of 20 years, i don't want any man to feel i am giving them the 'come on' therefore i am not as 'flirtacious' (sp?) as i'd like to be. It obviously works as i've never had any man want to chat and buy me a drink at a dance venue

[ChrisA]

Not if you actually look at them *sigh*, but thanks.

Right, young lady, that's enough of that

As one who holds them frequently I feel qualified to offer an opinion here, and they are most definitely not horrible, neither to look at, or to touch. They do the job beautifully.

And IIRC from Ashtons some months back, they did another job beautifully, too, rendering me virtually comatose

So no more of this nonsense, please.

[John S]

From the poll results, the Forum seems to have a lot of people who consider themselves to be old, fat, married and not good enough dancers to be in the clique!

(I know I'm abusing the statistics, before anyone says so!)

[Lory]

From the poll results, the Forum seems to have a lot of people who consider themselves to be old, fat,

I was listening to Jamie Theakston on the radio this morning and apparently 55% of men prefer curvy women!

[Gadget]

We all have certain insecurities and things that go through our head if someone turns us down or we don't get asked for a dance, so which of these can sometimes hit the nerve

erm... nothing goes through my mind except OK, who's next.
I know who I am. I know what I look like. I know that there are only two sorts of insecurities: those you can fix and those you can't. If you can fix them, they are no longer insecurities. If you can't, then why be insecure about them?

I really don't get this dwelling on the 0.00001% of times you may be turned down: Why not be assured that the 99.999999% of times people actually are pleased to be asked, happy to dance, were all yours for 3 mins, and enjoyed themselves in your company.
I am more worried/concerned/"insecure" about dances I have where my partner does not enjoy themselves than never getting to the dance floor in the first place. {Normally because of my clumseyness }

[Lynn]

Whatever your insecurities - don't mention them, draw attention to them, or even think about them when dancing/asking for a dance/accepting a dance. I suppose most people don't anyway, but there might be one or two others like me....

From personal experience...

Dancing with someone at Southport, having a nice dance, I casually mentioned that I have technically (aside from weekenders) had only about 3 intermediate classes. His style of dancing with me immediately changed. Of course I didn't have the time to explain this was because I had no regular classes in the country where I live, and that I had done 3 weekenders and a dance holiday... he probably just thought I hadn't been dancing very long and wasn't very confident.

I had a bad habit of saying 'I'm not very good' when someone asked me to dance. I felt so much less experienced than anyone around me and was almost making my excuses for poor dancing in advance! OK, there are much better dancers all around, but its not like I'm appalling awful, and anyway the guy can decide for himself whether he enjoys the dance or not, I don't need to tell him in advance that he won't! Also it would have the effect of perhaps indicating that I only want the guy to lead simple moves, wheras I love following moves I have never been taught, it brings a smile of genuine surprise and pleasure to my face when there is a new move, led well, and I'm sure its nice for the lead to get that reaction. (And if I get it wrong then the lead learns something about how he has led it, usually we laugh and try it again.) So I have stopped saying that (mostly).

So now I don't say anything about being 'not good enough' even if I feel it, and I just enjoy the dance!

[John S]

I was listening to Jamie Theakston on the radio this morning and apparently 55% of men prefer curvy women!

I suspect it may be an even higher figure, if everyone were honest - men may think a girl with a supermodel figure looks better (partly because we're conditioned by what the advertising industry decrees) but if the lights are out and one has to go by touch and feel alone, well- no contest!!!

But, whatever anyone's shape, height, age or looks, act with pride and confidence in who you are and you'll never be short of a dance partner!

[robd]

I had a bad habit of saying 'I'm not very good' when someone asked me to dance.

I used to be like that too and would preface every dance with "I don't know many moves yet" or similar. Feel past that now but have a similar problem in that I make lots of mistakes (or moves turn out not quite how I intended them) and I automatically apologise and I think this can get on some partner's nerves. As one lady said to me "There are no mistakes in freestyle".

Robert

[Sheepman]

Right, young lady, that's enough of that

As one who holds them frequently I feel qualified to offer an opinion here, and they are most definitely not horrible, neither to look at, or to touch. They do the job beautifully.

I couldn't have said it better myself!

But of course if we are talking about our insecurities here, we're not necessarily being rational, so the fact that there is something we don't like about ourselves doesn't mean to say that anyone else would even have noticed. Sparkles, do you honestly imagine that you have ever been turned down for a dance because of your hands? (Actually, have you ever been turned down for a dance? )

I ticked the following:-
Not trendy enough
Intimidating
because I know I have been turned down for dances for those reasons. I also ticked
Not Good Enough
because I imagine that is the main reason I get turned down for dances, but it's not a reason many people are likely to admit to!

Greg