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Thread: The hardest thing when you started to learn...

  1. #21
    Registered User Dancing Veela's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
    So for anyone whos only danced with me once or twice, I was undoubtedly nervous and probably dire - we'll dance again...I get much better with familiarity .
    DS you are NEVER dire to dance with!!!!!! You are lovely to dance with!

    I look forward to dancing again and to the familiarity

  2. #22
    Papa Smurf
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    Originally posted by Dancing Veela
    DS you are NEVER dire to dance with!!!!!! You are lovely to dance with!

    I look forward to dancing again and to the familiarity
    Nice of you to say so but I think you were always one of those people that I danced better than average with - Im normally much worse .

    We'll get familiar next time I see you

  3. #23
    Registered User Dancing Veela's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
    We'll get familiar next time I see you
    Promises Promises - now go get back to work!!!!!!!!!

  4. #24
    Registered User Sandy's Avatar
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    Confidence flying out the window!

    Originally posted by Franck
    Come on ladies, tell us why, and how hard it really was when you started!!!

    Franck.
    OK. It has probably all been said but I have horrible memories of just freaking out, turning to stone, not being able to listen to instructions. FEAR took over. Everyone looked so good and seemed to know what they were doing, EXCEPT ME! Had I found my girlfriend I would have left after 10 minutes! thank god i didn't!

    Main problems -

    1. confidence, it seems to vanish when you most need it - why assume you should be able to dance straight away - chill out and listen to the teacher and not watch everyone else (this still happens to me!)
    2. Not letting your partner lead - I seemed to try to take over, god knows why I hadn't a clue where I was going! Anxiety maybe!
    3. Beat - you don't even notice that at all at first, so busy trying to do steps - calm down and listen for the beat and it is so much easier
    4. Imagine everyone is laughing at you or disappointed that they get you as a partner. Forget it, they are probably laughing at their own mistakes
    5. Ability to trod on just about everyone's feet or turn the wrong way or throw myself into a drop to the horror of a totally unsuspecting partner - how is your head Dave???

    All that said I am glad I have and am sticking it out because it is brilliant fun and definitely worth it

    Sandy

  5. #25
    Omnipotent Moderator Tiggerbabe's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
    So for anyone whos only danced with me once or twice, I was undoubtedly nervous and probably dire - we'll dance again...I get much better with familiarity . Strangely though, I have come across a few individuals who seem to fit in very well with my 'style' and then it seems easy, and Im not nervous . Very rare though.
    Now I'm hoping that we already are familiar I love dancing with you and we had a great dance on Sunday.
    You have lovely style and also a very nice smile (most important )

    You are too modest by far young man and might I add intermediate finalist

  6. #26
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    difficulties

    I went to my first lesson just recently and the thing I found most difficult was trying to get those spins down without falling into people or sprawling halfway across the dancefloor. Is it a matter of balance? More slippery shoes? Just felt that I couldn't get myself round fast enough to stay on the beat.

    Also found it difficult to let the guy lead, but when dancing with a taxi dancer found that with a strong lead, I just have to sit back and enjoy it... not much work there.

  7. #27
    The Forum Legend
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    For me, the hardest part was actually going along to the classes. I was fine once I was there, but very shy about going on my own (I'm really a very shy person). It took me about a month before I'd actually go on my own (before that, my friend had to drag me). Also, the other hard part was actually asking people to dance with me. It took me about 2.5 years before I'd managed to ask everyone on my list. I'd always watch the women who were really good, and never feel confident enough to actually go ask them to dance with me. I was sure that they'd hate the experience....

    Steve

  8. #28
    Not a spoon! Lou's Avatar
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    Re: difficulties

    Originally posted by Unregistered
    I went to my first lesson just recently and the thing I found most difficult was trying to get those spins down without falling into people or sprawling halfway across the dancefloor. Is it a matter of balance? More slippery shoes? Just felt that I couldn't get myself round fast enough to stay on the beat.
    Pretty much, yup. Slippy shoes help. That and a bit of practice. Keeping my feet together as I spin helps me, and also trying to stay close to my partner.

    Also found it difficult to let the guy lead, but when dancing with a taxi dancer found that with a strong lead, I just have to sit back and enjoy it... not much work there. [/B]
    As a beginner you must let the man lead. Concentrate on staying relaxed, following his hand & going where he puts you.

  9. #29
    Omnipresent Administrator Franck's Avatar
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    Re: difficulties

    Originally posted by Unregistered
    I went to my first lesson just recently and the thing I found most difficult was trying to get those spins down without falling into people or sprawling halfway across the dancefloor. Is it a matter of balance? More slippery shoes? Just felt that I couldn't get myself round fast enough to stay on the beat.
    Hi and welcome to the Forum. I hope you manage to register soon, so you can read all the good advice in the Intermediate section!

    Re. spinning, the first thing to do is not to worry too much. Spinning improves with (lots and lots of) practice.
    First of all, try to slow down your spins, you should not have to rush a spin, and after that it is a matter of balance indeed, mostly developing the leg muscles that will keep you upright spinning on the ball of one foot!
    Shoes make a big difference, but I would wait before investing in any pair of (potentially) expensive shoes... Get dancing first, and find out what really suits you. Having said that, I would avoid trainers (except dance trainers) as they have such a good grip, they might prevent you from spinning altogether...

    Don't hesitate to ask for help in here or on the nights you attend, the teacher and taxi-dancers are there to help.

    Franck.

  10. #30
    Commercial Operator SwingSwingSwing's Avatar
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    Originally posted by TheTramp
    Also, the other hard part was actually asking people to dance with me. It took me about 2.5 years before I'd managed to ask everyone on my list. I'd always watch the women who were really good, and never feel confident enough to actually go ask them to dance with me. I was sure that they'd hate the experience....
    To this day, I still find it hard asking for a dance. It's not so bad when asking people that I know but if it's someone I haven't danced with before or someone who I have a high regard for then I clam up!

    For example, I was at an event in Coventry last month and I reckon I danced with 3 or 4 people outside my "usual" circle the whole weekend!

    SwingSwingSwing

  11. #31
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    and never feel confident enough to actually go ask them to dance with me. I was sure that they'd hate the experience....
    Incidentally, all those women I have danced with. There's no need to point out how much you did hate the experience!!!

    Steve

  12. #32
    Chief Worrier PeterL's Avatar
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    originally posted by Frank

    Ceroc is a fast-progress dance. You can go from complete beginner to expert in 6 months only, and typically, you can dance with confidence in 2/3 weeks and reach intermediate level within 2 months... In my opinion, this makes it unique and totally magical.

    I have to agree with this, however it took me about a year to even class myself as a good beginner, I couldn't lead the moves , I didn't know what a beat was etc. However I am used to these problems as I am clumsy and have a total lack of spatial awareness due to being dispraxic. I have however always persevered at things that most people find easy as I do not consider myself disabled.

    There are 4 stages to learning something new.

    1. Unconscious incompetence
    this is where you don't even know what you don't know (never heard of it)
    2. conscious incompetence.
    This is where you know of the skill and can't do it
    3. conscious competence
    This is where you can do it when you are thinking about it.
    4. unconscious competence
    This is where you can do it without even thinking about it.

    Think of learning to drive. when you can do it you don't even think about it you point the car where you want it to go and the gear work etc is done unconsciously.

    I found that I was absolutely awful until I reached the 4th stage of learning (this is the case in all physical activities with myself).
    So the only advise I can give new people is don't worry about it you will be awful. One day however you will reach the 4th stage and it will just click. For some this will be quick for others it will take a while , but when it does just enjoy the dance, you have put in the hours learning, now have fun.

    And for those you have clicked, take the time to dance with people for who it hasn't, the only way they get there is by dancing and you will not only have invested in a future dance partner but you will enjoy the expressions on there face as you lead moves so well that they do it correctly even though they thought they couldn't do it. And always say something nice (remember how it helped your confidence). I.e. don't tell them to relax, this comes with time.

  13. #33
    Meglio del Cioccolato Demo
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    I only started three months ago and I have the same problems outlined before. Another thing I find difficult to get right is the strength of the lead. It can't be too strong because you don't want to pull your partner's arms off, and not too weak because otherwise they don't understand what you want to do or they misinterpret it. I suppose it is a question of practice and it varies from partner to partner but I'm still in the dark on this.

  14. #34
    Chief Worrier PeterL's Avatar
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    Originally posted by azande
    It can't be too strong because you don't want to pull your partner's arms off, and not too weak because otherwise they don't understand what you want to do or they misinterpret it.

    A lot of people will probably disagree with me on this but a I find the longer I have been dancing the lighter my lead has become. If you are distinct and obvious with what you want you never need to be forceful. Don't push hard but be precise. I know that we get taught to give the lady momentum on the spin, but I find that this just puts them of balance unless they are experienced themselves, so be precise and obvious and don't be strong would be my advice. A strong lead can have a light touch.

  15. #35
    The Original Scooby Dave Hancock's Avatar
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    Tottally agree with what Peter says regarding the longer you've been dancing the less pressure you need to exert with the lead. I think it is to do with the quality of the lead rather than the power, indeed if you are too physically strong in leading you are only likely to a) hurt your partner by jerky movements and b) put her off balance as she may not be ready for whyat you are aobut to do which are both undesirable.

    It really is a question of being firm without being overly physical, it really is something which comes only with practice I'm afraid

  16. #36
    Registered User Sandy's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Dave Hancock
    I think it is to do with the quality of the lead rather than the power, indeed if you are too physically strong in leading you are only likely to a) hurt your partner by jerky movements and b) put her off balance as she may not be ready for whyat you are aobut to do which are both undesirable.

    It really is a question of being firm without being overly physical, it really is something which comes only with practice I'm afraid
    Absolutely Dave. From a female perspective, I can say that I have danced with quite a mixture of styles and the better dancers don't need to yank your arm or push you into place like some kind of mechanical arm! ouch!. There is a huge difference between firm and forceful. I've found I prefer to dance with guys who have a firm but non pushy style and don't worry me that they are going to fling me straight into the path of some other dancer :reallymad

    Hey Dave, no need to worry when dancing with you

    Cheers

    Sandy

  17. #37
    Registered User Twinkle Toes's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    No seriously - the hardest thing for me was to let a man lead me (many men still make that complaint!!!) - it's very very hard when you are all beginners and nobody knows any of the moves - and in general the women do learn the moves more quickly than the men - so it was very hard not to lead the moves when the men couldn't do them - or remember what came next and when you start of like that it's hard to get out of the habit.

    The best advice I was ever given was by our teacher at the time (a woman) who said 'women please leave your brains at the door when you come into Ceroc - just relax and let the men lead you'

    I couldn't have said it better myself DV.


  18. #38
    Registered User Wendy's Avatar
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    And it is possible to lead (well some moves) without touching which is really fun !!! Franck did this in a workshop and it's amazing. I think eye contact has a lot to do with it or is that just my imagination....

    I'm still working on that very ! bad habit of taking control when I shouldn't !!! (2 years on !) and being a taxi makes it worse !!!

    And then there are the guys I totally trust and I relax a little and let them do their stuff... mmmm.... and then I get to improvise if I'm lucky !!!!

    As Calvin said the other day " Dancing should be a conversation between two people where each has an equal opportunity for expression....." love that !!!

    Wx

  19. #39
    Registered User Sandy's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Wendy
    As Calvin said the other day " Dancing should be a conversation between two people where each has an equal opportunity for expression....." love that !!!

    Wx
    Oh my God, that sounds just wonderful. Haven't danced for nearly 2 weeks, can't wait to have a long conversation on Tuesday

    The best advice I was ever given was by our teacher at the time (a woman) who said 'women please leave your brains at the door when you come into Ceroc - just relax and let the men lead you'

    Not so sure about this! Depends on how good the lead is I would think


    Sandy

  20. #40
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    Originally posted by Wendy
    And it is possible to lead (well some moves) without touching which is really fun !!!
    Glad to know that it's fun; I have been known to "loose" partners and just lead air for a few moves if I miss a catch or the lady misses my signal :sorry (The result of spinning the lady too far away and not giving obvious enough signals)
    Should incorporate that into the workshop: "Disaster recovery can be fun!"

    As to dancing Ceroc being a "conversation", I don't think the anology works - I think perhaps an "interview" would be closer; the lead has to direct the flow to get what they want out of their partner, but give the partner room enough to show what they are capable of.

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