Ladies' sabotage advice

[Lou]

I do.

Sorry!

Wish you'd been at the venue I was at on Friday night. It was the first time I'd been. And after sitting out a lot, I could've done with someone who makes a habit of asking ladies to dance...

[bigdjiver]

Sorry!

Wish you'd been at the venue I was at on Friday night. It was the first time I'd been. And after sitting out a lot, I could've done with someone who makes a habit of asking ladies to dance...

So many women, so little time ...

Unfortunately I get enough dance where I live to travel far.

[jivecat]

And, I'd like to point out, this conversation was started by a woman posting about a man's physique...

Oh dear yes, SORRY, folks. Why didn't I just think for a nanosecond before I hit that submit button?

I don't condone discrimination on the basis of physical features. But like a few other people I would have to admit to a bit of prejudice & body fascism, though it doesn't ever cause me to turn down dances. I've been turned down myself too many times to do that to people.

In practice, I can & do cheerfully overlook ANY variations from absolute masculine perfection as long as he leads well. (My original complaint was not just based on criticism of physical features but on quality of leading.) As Bigdjiver points out, people who look too good can be off-putting. When selecting a partner at random I don't think I do select the one whom I find most attractive, it's a combination of "Looking like they would be good to dance with" and "Looking like they might say yes" that clinches the (split-second, unconscious) decision.

I don't know what men say about women in all-male company, doesn't bear thinking about. Rather naively, I assume that intelligent, reconstructed men, of which there are many, no doubt, to be found on the forum, wouldn't emphasise physical features in derogatory terms as the main standard to judge them by when talking about women.

Having tried to analyse how women talk about men from my own experience I think that physical features certainly do get mentioned but are not given more importance than features like manners, grooming & personality. Criticisms made of those features can be extremely harsh and dismissive, however.

WAAAY off thread.

[DavidB]

I don't know what men say about women in all-male company, doesn't bear thinking about.

The most in-depth discussion of women would go something like:
"Have you danced with xxxx"
"No - not yet"

We are more likely to be talking about sport/cars/movies/work etc than women.

WAAAY off thread.

OK. So if led into a train, there is an easy way to both follow the move and express your delight at doing it. It is called the 'Virgin West Coast' variation. As Virgin only get 66% of their trains on time, you do 2 steps, and then just completely stop before doing the third. After a few seconds, you then leave your partner on the floor, and expect him to make alternative arrangements to finish the move.

[spindr]

A shopping trolley that's pilled high is less maneuverable (leadable) -- simply due to the physics of the situation -- it takes more effort to stop, stop, change direction or spin.

If you're a beginner/lazy leader -- then you may well try to draw similar conclusions on the dance floor -- especially if you're used to pushing and pulling your partner around like a shopping trolley.

Dancers can't defy physics but they can use good technique to make the most of what they can do. The problem is that one can't necessarily tell a "good" dancer when you're sat still. Even after 20 years of dancing, *I* still get it wrong -- I can get some idea of health, vitality, carriage, poise, interest and inclination -- but not technique. One glance at the floor, or leading a travelling return and I can make a pretty good guess tho'.

Anyway, a smile will knock years of your age and pounds off your weight -- so, guess how I chose my partners?

SpinDr.

[David Bailey]

The most in-depth discussion of women would go something like:
"Have you danced with xxxx"
"No - not yet"

Boy, you talk that much to other guys? You're clearly an advanced conversationalist. I'm usually at the "Hi" level at most, sometimes only a nod in passing. This idea, that men are talking at all, let alone having in-depth conversations, is amazing to me...

Or, possibly, everyone's been shunning me for the past 15 years and I've only just noticed...

OK, perhaps a slight exaggeration, but I can't honestly remember having any such discussion with any man about the physical features of any woman, certainly not in the past few years. The most I may say / may be said to me, is "She's a great dancer". That's it.

On the other hand, I've had lots of those sort of conversations (ie. dissing someone else) with women...

We are more likely to be talking about sport/cars/movies/work etc than women.

Heh, I am far more likely to be dancing, or possibly talking to dance partners, than talking to guys...

OK. So if led into a train, there is an easy way to both follow the move and express your delight at doing it. It is called the 'Virgin West Coast' variation. As Virgin only get 66% of their trains on time, you do 2 steps, and then just completely stop before doing the third. After a few seconds, you then leave your partner on the floor, and expect him to make alternative arrangements to finish the move.

[jivecat]

The most in-depth discussion of women would go something like:
"Have you danced with xxxx"
"No - not yet"

Well, that's good then. What I'd hoped for from civilised forumites.

[Cruella]

I had to do a double take when I read this, and think back several years to when we first danced.

This is one of those topics (and of course well off thread now) where it's probably safer to say nothing, someone is bound to get upset, but that doesn't always stop me. Yes, my first impression was probably that you were a large lady, my second impression (and far more important) was how much you enjoyed dancing, and how much fun you are to dance with. That impression is the one that is far more lasting. (And it adds to the impression of what an attraactive lady you are... )


Greg

Thank you for being such a gentleman Greg. Thankfully you never let the fact that i was larger put you off dancing with me, therefore we have had alot of great dances over the years. and long may that continue even though there is less of me now!!

[Missy D]

And another thing: If it's OK for ladies to talk about sweaty scrawny chests and atrophied pecs, does that mean I should complain - supposing it bothered me - about having to touch lard-mountain hips or wizened twisted old fingers ("ach") while I dance? Our bodies are whatever they are.

I cant stop laughing about this

[dee]

And another thing: If it's OK for ladies to talk about sweaty scrawny chests and atrophied pecs, does that mean I should complain - supposing it bothered me - about having to touch lard-mountain hips or wizened twisted old fingers ("ach") while I dance? Our bodies are whatever they are.

ESG thats so funny, i hear lots of things that us ladies complain about reguarding you men, makes a change to hear about the male point of view.

No comment on drops then?

[Missy D]

ESG thats so funny, i hear lots of things that us ladies complain about reguarding you men, makes a change to hear about the male point of view.

No comment on drops then?

I love watching the men struggle as a "shallow Hal" throws herself into a drop and you are right Dee men never complain. If it were a man and i couldnt lift the woman up without a struggle i would just leave her there wouldn't you

[horsey_dude]

I am not familiar with the move but you could just push him away with you index finger which wouldn't be too comfortable....

[jivecat]

I am not familiar with the move but you could just push him away with you index finger which wouldn't be too comfortable....

Oh blo*dy h*ll, who revived this dreadful old thread which I thought had mercifully died a death long since?

Horsey Dude, where have you been hiding, you used to be on the forum all the time when I first joined.

[Cruella]

I was quite enjoying rereading this actually. Have to agree with ESG again (Darn it thats twice now ) None of us are perfect! (except Silverfox allegedly! according to the man himself) Most of us beat ourselves up about our body images we really don't need others to point out our unattractive features. Male or female. It's far nicer to appreciate everyones finer points than focus on the negatives.

[littlewiggle]

I know I'm weird but this move always brings a smile to my face, it's sooo cheesy and funny and I've found loads of ways to 'play' it....

Sweaty scrawny chest = very straight index finger poke

Sleazy letch = Thumbs only, with fingers spread wide in the NO WAY styley

Can't bare to touch them at all = put your hands together and do a genie in a bottle action, straight up. out and round and grab their hands on the way out

Nice body = Stop and take a couple of beats to enjoy run fingers slowly down from collar bones, through to middle of chest, then flat hands on both pec's and push away with a !

And silly cheeky mates get their nipples pinched really hard!

Love it!

[horsey_dude]

Horsey Dude, where have you been hiding, you used to be on the forum all the time when I first joined.

I left my job and travelled/lived overseas for about a year and a half before getting sick of it and running home with my tail between my legs. I went back to my old job, moved in to an apartment 1 door down from where I lived before and took up my old life.....

I definately appreciate what I have more now. I also did hardly any dancing so I didn't have much to post about.

[TheTramp]

Heya HD...

Nice to see you on here again.

Where in NZ are you? I was there for 3 weeks in June, and had a great time. Definitely coming back next year - probably for longer

[horsey_dude]

Heya HD...

Nice to see you on here again.

Where in NZ are you? I was there for 3 weeks in June, and had a great time. Definitely coming back next year - probably for longer

I'm living in Wellington, I had just got back in the country and stopped in to class to say Hi to people and I saw you talking to Mandy at the front desk. Then when I went to say hello you were dancing and my friend wanted to leave so I thought I would just see you around at class.
I will buy you a beer (or whatever, I can't remember if you are a drinker) next time you are here.

Cheers,
HD.