April 1st News storys

[Gadget]

Got to be some good ones about...

Even monkeys wouldn't use a Mac
April 01 2005
by Will Sturgeon
Chances of a word perfect 'Hamlet'? Zero...

US academics have conducted research into the well-known phenomenon of 'Shakespeare's Monkeys' – which claims an infinite number of monkeys using an infinite number of typewriters would eventually write the complete works of the Bard – and have discovered it would not hold true if the primates were typing on an Apple Mac.

Scientists at the University of Utah conducted experiments using 20 primates over a three-month period and found that their subjects largely shunned the four Macs running OS X in favour of keyboards attached to four machines running Windows XP.

The closest thing to a Shakespearian line typed on the Macs was 'Ham', which the scientists recorded as three correct characters from the title of Hamlet, however, one machine running Windows XP recorded "It is the green-eyed m" – 22 correct characters from the text of tragedy Othello.

Dr Johan Klaas from the department of behavioural studies at the University of Utah, told silicon.com: "We were surprised by the results. The majority of the primates we used appeared to be far more comfortable using Windows."

"The correct character comparison of 22 to three suggests the primates were more than seven times more confident on Windows-based machines," he added.

Klaas told silicon.com that 124 keyboards were replaced during the 90-day experiment after they were damaged in various ways – from being beaten against the ground to being covered in faeces.

The primates' dislike of the Mac keyboard appeared even to manifest itself here too, with the destroyed keyboard count numbering 93 to 31 in favour of those attached to the Windows machines.

Klaas told silicon.com: "Whatever people say about infinite outcomes and infinite possibilities this research makes me think monkeys would never write the entire works of Shakespeare using a Mac."

"But," added Klaas, "they'd sure break a lot of keyboards trying."

The most commonly opened application was also on the Windows PCs with the primates appearing to develop a fondness for Outlook.

[ducasi]

I've only seen similar boring techy ones... (Boring to non-techies, that is!)

But I've just been emailed this....


<div><font face="Verdana" size="+1" color="#000000"><b>10 stories that could be pranks - but aren't<br><br></b></font><font face="Verdana" size="-4" color="#000000"><b>Today is 1 April, when jokers set out to fool and the rest of us are on our guard. Here is our annual round-up of some of the day's seemingly spoof news stories which are actually true.</b><br><br><br><b>1. A Japanese inventor</b> has devised solar-powered clothes which can top up the battery on an iPod or mobile phone.<br> <br><b>2. The Home Office</b> is being asked to pardon Anne Boleyn,500 years after she was executed, because she was "obviously innocent".<br> <br><b>3. A study of</b> men who attended lapdancing clubs found one man, named by researchers as "Graham the philanthropist" who went five times a week and believed "he was helping the women to make money quickly so they could become financially independent&quot;.<br> <br><b>4. A family of</b> four ate 20,000 Kit Kats to win prizes worth £12,000. "We had them for breakfast, dinner and tea," said 53-year-old Pat McGovern of Teesside.<br><br><b>5. Joss Stone has</b> earned £5m, shooting her into the top 20 of a rich list of young entertainers. Will Young is worth £8m.<br><br><b>6. A Belgian police</b> training manual which aims to help recruits understand body language has caused a row by likening George Bush'sfacial expressions to a chimpanzee's.<br><br><b>7. Thousands of visitors</b> are rushing to Death Valley to see a remarkable range of wild flowers which have bloomed there.<br><br><b>8. A tow-truck driver</b> in South Africa has been arrested on suspicion of tampering with traffic lights to make accidents more likely.<br><br><b>9. Conmen in Slough</b> are getting people to pay £400 for laptops, before handing over bags filled not with computer but with bottles filled with water. <br> <br> <b> 10. Christopher Eccleston, fresh</b> from getting critical acclaim and near record ratings as the new Doctor Who, has quit the role.<br> <br>
</font></div>

[Stuart]

Have a look at the page you go into when you want to search for something on Google - The piece about the drink that can help you surf the internet better!

[David Franklin]

<b>6. A Belgian police</b> training manual which aims to help recruits understand body language has caused a row by likening George Bush's facial expressions to a chimpanzee's.

Sheesh! Some of these animal rights defenders are too easily offended...