Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Death Glare repairs

  1. #1
    Registered User Trousers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    1,349
    Rep Power
    10

    Death Glare repairs

    Oh No!!!!

    It's finally happened.

    My Death Glare...... It's broken.

    There I was, enjoying a nice yet compact dance with someone at Wicksteed on Sunday. You know the sort of night, lots of people, no dance floor to speak of; a couple of bluesy tracks had just thinned the melee down to plain old murder on the dance floor. So I'd grabbed a woman and approached the only safe space on the floor, lovingly coveting this little circle of parquet. So in homage to the space I had acquired I began to do my stuff with this woman. We were doing very nicely Thank You Very Much! and were easily half way through the track when someone and his victim walked onto the spacious, (nah wrong word) crowded, (nah still doesn't convey enough) FULL TO SODDIN OVERFLOWING (yeah that's better), dance floor. Ok Ok it happens I know, so I just cringe at my partner as I know I am going to have to give room to allow this idiot half a dance to ruin what was up till then a perfectly fine dance for us. Well it got worse, not only had he limited me to doing close safe moves while he did walk arounds, reducing my space even more, he sent his victim out backwards into me!
    Well that was it as I turned around I did my wilting Death Glare on him and blow me if it didn't work. He just completely failed to curl up on the floor in total agony. No one else did either so I know I didn't miss!
    Maybe the batteries are dead?
    Maybe he had Death Glare invulnerable Thick Skin?

    Either I'm going to have to get the Death Glare checked out or find some venues where etiquette counts for something more that a chance to run rough shod over your fellow dancers.

  2. #2
    Commercial Operator angelique's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Corby, Northants
    Posts
    422
    Rep Power
    10

    Re: Death Glare repairs

    Quote Originally Posted by Trousers
    Oh No!!!!

    It's finally happened.

    My Death Glare...... It's broken.

    There I was, enjoying a nice yet compact dance with someone at Wicksteed on Sunday. You know the sort of night, lots of people, no dance floor to speak of; a couple of bluesy tracks had just thinned the melee down to plain old murder on the dance floor. So I'd grabbed a woman and approached the only safe space on the floor, lovingly coveting this little circle of parquet. So in homage to the space I had acquired I began to do my stuff with this woman. We were doing very nicely Thank You Very Much! and were easily half way through the track when someone and his victim walked onto the spacious, (nah wrong word) crowded, (nah still doesn't convey enough) FULL TO SODDIN OVERFLOWING (yeah that's better), dance floor. Ok Ok it happens I know, so I just cringe at my partner as I know I am going to have to give room to allow this idiot half a dance to ruin what was up till then a perfectly fine dance for us. Well it got worse, not only had he limited me to doing close safe moves while he did walk arounds, reducing my space even more, he sent his victim out backwards into me!
    Well that was it as I turned around I did my wilting Death Glare on him and blow me if it didn't work. He just completely failed to curl up on the floor in total agony. No one else did either so I know I didn't miss!
    Maybe the batteries are dead?
    Maybe he had Death Glare invulnerable Thick Skin?

    Either I'm going to have to get the Death Glare checked out or find some venues where etiquette counts for something more that a chance to run rough shod over your fellow dancers.




    Awwwwwwww, c'mon 'ere hun and have a cuddle! There's nothing more soul destroying than when your renowned withering stares just DON'T have the same "ooomph" that you KNOW they should!

    Am gonna , hopefully, venture to Northampton tomorrow for a class so if you there , will let you "throw" me a withering look and I'll mark it out of 10!

    Remember, practise, practise, practise!

  3. #3
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Norf Lundin
    Posts
    17,001
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: Death Glare repairs

    I know how you feel - My Left Elbow Of Doom has been on the fritz for, ohhh, months now. What are we to do? Develop alternative super-weapons, when we've spent years perfecting these ones? It's a tricky question...

  4. #4
    Registered User Daisy Chain's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    By the stage
    Posts
    955
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: Death Glare repairs

    Quote Originally Posted by Trousers
    My Death Glare...... It's broken.
    No worries, I'll lend you mine. I'm told it's awesome

    Daisy

    (A Fearsome Little Flower)

  5. #5
    Commercial Operator
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Fife.
    Posts
    5,701
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: Death Glare repairs

    Apparently you can get ZW's.

    It comes in franchise form!!

  6. #6
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    North London
    Posts
    9,918
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    17

    Re: Death Glare repairs

    Death stare exercises....

    Option 1

    Tilt head slightly back, flare nostrils, take a sharp intake of breath, through gritted teeth, which are being shown through thin downward turned lips and at the same time, opening eyes VERY wide, whist looking down your nose, directly at your victim.

    Option 2

    Tilt head forward, with a very slight **** to one side, purse lips very firmly (but NOT as for kissing), lower eyebrows and frown intently, keeping your victim firmly at the centre of your gaze and then for the full effect, practice very slow, assertive and over exaggerated sideways nods, keeping your eyes fixed on your target, so they look like they are rolling back and forth in their sockets.

    Let me know how you get on
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
    "If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine

  7. #7
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Norf Lundin
    Posts
    17,001
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: Death Glare repairs

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory
    Death stare exercises....

    Option 2
    Hmmm, anybody else think that sounds quite sexy? Ohh, just me then...

  8. #8
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    North London
    Posts
    9,918
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    17

    Re: Death Glare repairs

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames
    Hmmm, anybody else think that sounds quite sexy? Ohh, just me then...
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
    "If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Worcester, UK
    Posts
    4,157
    Rep Power
    12

    Re: Death Glare repairs

    So, you were on a dance floor that was "FULL TO SODDIN OVERFLOWING", and you found your dance space limited, and someone bumped into you?

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Death by chocolate!!!
    By Miss Marple in forum Fun and Games
    Replies: 229
    Last Post: 14th-December-2008, 07:53 PM
  2. Death of common sense
    By Barry Shnikov in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 12th-September-2006, 10:35 AM
  3. Death calculator
    By Sheepman in forum Fun and Games
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 5th-August-2004, 11:50 AM
  4. Doc Death - Happy b'day
    By Boomer in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 2nd-October-2003, 04:30 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •