This topic generally has to be approached from at least two angles.
Guys: Develop a smooth and round style. That way you don't have to yank the lady as she will walk in the 'right' direction all by herself. So you essentially move around the lady and change the direction of the moves to whatever is the easiest to direct SOFTLY. The result of that'll be that guys actually start moving a lot more
Ladies: SHORTEN YOURS STEPS! Many of the 'rough dancing' issues arise because the ladies take huge backsteps and hence are to far away for more or less anything to do but stand and wait. Second most important thing is to be able to say NO to fast music if you realise that you may have trouble keeping up or if you know your partner can't keep up.
I am sure there is a lot more but I am too tired at the moment ... so slow music please
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