{from a PM}Originally Posted by Lorry
{Duplicated from another thread...}
This leads to a question:Originally Posted by drathzel
How many dances make a night 'worth it'? or just "make a night"? Is it the quantity? Or would one dance with a 'god' be worth sitting the last eight out?
{from a PM}Originally Posted by Lorry
It's definitely the quality this time not the quantity !!But then one has to speculate to accumulate,you never know how good they might turn out to be after a few weeks!!
QUALITY!!!! But that doesn't mean I'm happy with just ONE good dance, and then sit and watch for the rest of the evening..... But I'd rather have a few good dances and then a few breaks, than dance all night with people I don't enjoy dancing with....
Demanding Monkey
Quality is the thing, definitely, but quality comes in different forms. For example I occasionally get to visit other venues as my work takes me to London and rather than spend the night sitting in a hotel room watching TV, I search out an MJ night.
Being a new face in a venue causes a certain look when you ask a lady for a dance. Its a great buzz when the expression changes from cautious and uncertain to the smile that says "hey this isn't as bad as I thought it would be" ... even better when she asks you for another dance
Some nights, I have to do all the asking. I find that very depressing and slink out early wondering what's wrong with meOriginally Posted by Gadget
Does this depress any other wallflowers?
Daisy
(A Depressed Little Wall Flower)
I have a sort of rule of thumb which makes or breaks a night. I'm not exactly a shy wallflower, but I find it uncomfortable if I spend the whole evening having to ask, I do like to be asked too...
So my sort of 'rule' is that if there are over 7, say, men I know well and enjoy dancing with and don't give a monkeys about whether they ask me or I ask them, then I feel able to ask complete strangers and dance every dance. But if there aren't many men who fall into that category, I feel very awkward asking strangers and usually end up having a cr*p night.
I admit its a bit weird. Why should it make a difference? It's only that I know I get at least 'n' (=>7) good dances ! But somehow it does... by boosting my confidence and then that carries me through....
Go figure...
If I have a good time I am sitting out no more than five or six dances all night.
Some nights I don't mind sitting out a little - it depends on what sort of a day I've had, how my dodgy ankle is feeling etc etc And sometimes I like sitting out so that I can watch others dancing and pick up some tips or decide who I'm going to ask to dance next!
[QUOTE=Daisy Chain]Some nights, I have to do all the asking. I find that very depressing and slink out early wondering what's wrong with me Does this depress any other wallflowers?[QUOTE]
It's not the same if you feel you have done all the asking all night.
A tip I have for occaisions when you are at a new venue and don't know many people is to ask one of the ladies there for recommendations on which guys to ask for a dance - in my experience they are always more than happy to supply you with a list!
I dance all night most nights. And they're always quality dances. For me at least
Totallllllllly agree with ya Bonnet.Originally Posted by Scotch Bonnet
If I go to a venue and get one dance where the hairs go up on the back of my neck and as my partner and I dance the world shrinks down to a little ball of music containing two people and a dance - well following that I may as well go home. That dance would make my evening.
So quality not quantity here.
I think this comment is on topic - or at least is a response to DC.Originally Posted by Daisy Chain
I'm guessing I dance with between 10 and 20 women in one night - I was thinking of a thread asking what is an acceptable number of dances with your partner - one, two, more - but somehow I feel that's a bit of a tasteless question. Why so many dances but only one each - because I feel I am a scarce resource as a male dancer and want to help make something of someone else's evening. Is that conceited? God knows.
I would like quality but rarely get it - due ENTIRELY to my short-comings as a dancer, rather than the really amazing female dancers I have the good luck to dance with in London. So I go for quantity.
RE Daisy Chain - I very rarely refuse a request from a lady for a dance.
I got refused at Tango tonight - and it was practice not "social" - so I thought "stuff you" - plenty others want to learn.
This is definitely off-topic : I don't know how ladies can bear to stand around the dance floor waiting, hoping to get picked, like for the rounders team at school. I wouldn't have the patience in such a situation. I would storm home in a sulk and given up MJ years ago if I had to wait. The few times I have been to an MJ event where there have been excess men I have to resist the urge to leave - how adolescent
As far this male/female ratio is concerned, us guys have it too easy and don't realise how fortunate we are.
I'm not excluding same sex couples here but it is too late at night to construct a non-sexist argument.
CRL
Well, I could use the excuse that most were strangers, but I only asked one man for a dance at Scarborough over the whole weekend (as a song came on that I wanted to dance to, I stood up and asked a guy nearby, and a very nice dance it was too!). Its not just a case of being shy, more not being confident but rather thinking, 'there are lots of other much better dancers here' that this guy would prefer to dance with'. I did get plenty of dances, I wasn't sitting getting frustrated that I wasn't dancing enough, but then I also enjoy and learn from watching. I'll ask more next time.Originally Posted by foxylady
I have come across too many men that think "I am not good enough", and just watch for that reason. There are still some ladies I will not ask for that reason.
I dance every track I can, and sometimes think I am sacrificing quality for quantity, but, if there is a partner available, I cannot resist.
Little flowerOriginally Posted by Daisy Chain
I am in the exact same position as you! I feel that i do all the asking (on occasions i have been asked) especialy with people i really want to dance with! Why is this? Men?
Dx
Originally Posted by foxylady
If I'm at a new venue or somewhere I don't go often, I try to find someone I already know or vaguely recognise for the first few dances, then I'm not asking strangers completely cold.Originally Posted by foxylady
Originally Posted by DaveD
Went to Godalming tonight for the first time, missed the early freestyle and jumped straight into Rob and Debbie's class . Although I went with someone, I knew no-one else, but doing the class meant I met lots of great new people, and got to dance with almost all of them in the freestyle after. Some I asked, some asked me. Guess you've got to make an effort although maybe it's a lot easier on a class night than at a freestyle only event.
Originally Posted by Trousers
Consider myself very lucky to have that happen twice last night. Set me up for the week that did.
Last edited by Banana Man; 14th-February-2005 at 01:58 AM.
I really dont enjoy the standing around and normally while doing so i am A)chatting or B) trying to stake out my next partner.Originally Posted by Clive Long
I have seen women (and have done so myself) run across dance floors to get a partner.... is this was we are reeduced to, fighting and begging for dances.... MEN get your butts into gear and ask us (and bring a male friend to classes)!!!!
The most dances i have ever had in a row with one dancer was 3 and a 1/2. I normally only have more than one dance if i am comfortable asking, have missed the first half of the dance or have been asked. Again feel its too greedy of me to keep this sought after man to myself!!!
Dx
I suspect that most men were beginners once, and had the same experience I did of either sitting out most of the dance, or having to do all the asking, (or both). First MJ night I went to, I had two dances in the entire freestyle, both with the person who'd invited me along.Originally Posted by Clive Long
Men choose the pretty ones first unless it's an advanced lesson when they want tto start with a partner who won't make a pigs ear of itOriginally Posted by drathzel
Daisy
(A Plain Little Flower)
I have to agree with everyone on the quality not quantity line. I do like being asked and don't normally refuse without good reason, although I had to on numerous occasions earlier in the year, but that was on health grounds (Sparkles, Sal and Tramp threatened me with violence if I didn't take it easy! ).
I do get turned down though, and a couple of times recently this has happened 3 times on the trot, at both Hipsters and the Jive Bar . It is so demoralising, so I sympathise with all of you out there.
However, to get back on thread, the right song, with the right partner can make the whole night for me.
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