upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

[philsmove]

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 ...and noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and
jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as AFL 5.0, NRL 4.3, PGA 3.0, and NBA 3.6. Conversation 8.0 no
longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

Reply from the Technical Side:
Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME"
to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. BUT remember, overuse of
the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence
2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.
CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will
crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

[Daisy]

Excellent

Have had the same problems myself in the past so I just dumped the slow, poor performance computer and got a new more powerful model.

[Minnie M]

Be careful of SpyWare - make sure curtains are drawn at night

[Bangers & Mash]

You think that's bad. I know a few people who recently upgraded from GirlFriend 2.0 to Wife 1.0 and now they can't access the internet any more and it's started draining money out of their online bank accounts.

On top of that, according to one of them, it also surreptitiously downloaded and installed parental controls on his pc