Name and Shame

[MartinHarper]

As long as the allegation could be verified

The most recent example was some guy (who I don't know) who allegedly hurt a woman (who I don't know) by doing a drop with her when she had told him she didn't want to do drops. I suppose one could verify that she had indeed been hurt by way of a doctor's note. Still, the doctor can't verify when or how the injury was sustained, and can't verify whether she had indeed told him she didn't want to do drops.

Can such things ever be more than one person's word against another's?

[Andy McGregor]

Can such things ever be more than one person's word against another's?

There can be a 'bloody glove'.

[Andy McGregor]

Did I read that right?

Surely it can't be true!!

The downside of asking every woman in the room to dance is that it is obvious if I leave someone out - so I try not to. That means I'm bound to come across the odd princess that considers she's too good for me

I would say I get turned down about every 3rd or fourth time I go dancing - I can live with it but it still hurts

[Sheepman]

In my experience, the women I consistently get turned down by are very attractive, young women I think I just have to accept that, to them, I'm an old bloke who isn't a possible boyfriend - or maybe they just don't fancy me

Andy, are you sure you're asking them the right question? I'm struggling to remember the last time I got turned down by a very attractive young woman. There again maybe that's just my memory going with age, if so, don't worry, you'll soon be there too.
I would say that naming and shaming in public here is particularly unfair if the person named is not an active member, so cannot defend themselves. Of course we have recently had a case where no one was named and shamed, but the victim (Minnie M) did receive a public apology, and the culprit identified himself, which I'm sure met with general approval.

Greg

[DianaS]

The downside of asking every woman in the room to dance is that it is obvious if I leave someone out - so I try not to. That means I'm bound to come across the odd princess that considers she's too good for me

I would say I get turned down about every 3rd or fourth time I go dancing - I can live with it but it still hurts

Sometime you may get turned down cas your too good a dancer for them. I used not to dance with people who were too good because I didn't think that I'd be able to dance with them or that they would enjoy it. Imagine the emabbarrssment of being led off onto the dance floor and not being able to do a thing! There are lots of reasons why someone may turn you down, being an old foggy is just one of them

[Gus]

I think the 'naming and shaming' of 'hotshots' is totally inappropraite. One man's hotshot is another mans top dancer ... its too subjective and MORE IMPORTANTLY its not hurting anyone!! The coves I am referring to when I started this thread are the serial sharkers who leave a trail of damaged ex-partners behind and dancers who physically damage or molest other dancers. These people ARE hurting people and I think the dance circuit would be better off without them.

As a franchsiee I would love to know who has been banned by other clubs or who have caused trouble elsewhere. Case in point, by a chance comment someone contacted me to ask about an ex-dancer from one of my clubs who was being put forward as an instructor. I was able to inform them that I had banned them from my club and why! Close escape

[ChrisA]

Sometime you may get turned down cas your too good a dancer for them. I used not to dance with people who were too good because I didn't think that I'd be able to dance with them or that they would enjoy it. Imagine the emabbarrssment of being led off onto the dance floor and not being able to do a thing!

This is a very common misunderstanding to find with beginner girls, and on more than one occasion I've had to persuade (and I can be very persuasive ) beginners on to the floor who didn't think they were good enough.

But it's completely unnecessary

The better the guy, the better he's able to discern the lady's level within seconds of even walking on to the floor with her, let alone beginning to dance with her.

He should never lead a move she can't follow (so it's his fault if she doesn't), and when he leads moves he should know exactly how much clearer and earlier he needs to make that lead, than he'd need to with a more experienced follower.

And as for not enjoying it, well, there's no excuse for not enjoying it either. Beginners are great - they very rarely yank (and if they do they can be persuaded not to very easily) and they are totally open to learning.

And even for an experienced guy, there is tremendous subtlety in discerning exactly how, and in what directions he can afford to build up the complexity of what he does with a beginner during the track, to give her the maximum possible sense of "wow I didn't know I could do that" , without taking it too far and demoralising her by making her fail.

Which is why the ones that tie a beginner up in confusing knots by attempting to lead lots of complicated stuff to impress them should be strung up by their toenails and flogged

Chris

[Andy McGregor]

The coves I am referring to when I started this thread are the serial sharkers who leave a trail of damaged ex-partners behind and dancers who physically damage or molest other dancers. These people ARE hurting people and I think the dance circuit would be better off without them.

I agree with Gus. This is the 'name and shame' thread. And we're not naming anyone. We all know a person we should name, it might even be the same person at the top of everyone's list.

As a franchsiee I would love to know who has been banned by other clubs or who have caused trouble elsewhere. Case in point, by a chance comment someone contacted me to ask about an ex-dancer from one of my clubs who was being put forward as an instructor. I was able to inform them that I had banned them from my club and why! Close escape

Maybe Gus's experience is an example to us. Maybe the next time we see someone welcoming a 'serial sharker' into their venue a word should be spoken, in private, into the ear of the organiser. But, that word must be spoken by someone who the organiser knows and respects, otherwise the organiser would get defensive of the decision to welcome 'Mr Shark' into his venue/event.

What I think we're talking about is whistle blowing. Let's all stand up and say "I have a whistle and I'm not afraid to use it"

[Minnie M]

........ have recently had a case where no one was named and shamed, but the victim (Minnie M) did receive a public apology, and the culprit identified himself, which I'm sure met with general approval.

[Andy McGregor]

Andy, are you sure you're asking them the right question? I'm struggling to remember the last time I got turned down by a very attractive young woman. There again maybe that's just my memory going with age, if so, don't worry, you'll soon be there too.
I would say that naming and shaming in public here is particularly unfair if the person named is not an active member, so cannot defend themselves. Of course we have recently had a case where no one was named and shamed, but the victim (Minnie M) did receive a public apology, and the culprit identified himself, which I'm sure met with general approval.

Greg

Can we have a new thread please. "Why we get turned down" might be a good title.

Now, to answer Sheepy. I think that I ask a lot more strangers than Sheepy. And a lot more beginners. And that is why I get turned down more. They either don't know the form or they don't dance with strangers. Of course, it could be that Sheepy is better looking than me

[CJ]

What I think we're talking about is whistle blowing. Let's all stand up and say "I have a whistle and I'm not afraid to use it"

You bring the whistle, and I'll blow...

Give me an "M"

[Northants Girly]

This is a very common misunderstanding to find with beginner girls . . . . . But it's completely unnecessary

The better the guy, the better he's able to discern the lady's level within seconds of even walking on to the floor with her, let alone beginning to dance with her.

He should never lead a move she can't follow (so it's his fault if she doesn't), and when he leads moves he should know exactly how much clearer and earlier he needs to make that lead, than he'd need to with a more experienced follower.

Exactly what I've been saying to DianaS too - good to hear the same sentiments from the other side of the fence (so to speak)

[drathzel]

You bring the whistle, and I'll blow...

Give me an "M"

M?

[Andy McGregor]

M?

'M' is the person who sends 007 on his missions. Not a person to be messed with

However, by prefixing 'Give me an ...' before a letter people are usually starting to spell something. I believe CJ is starting to spell the name of someone who he wants to blow the whistle on. But what is he blowing the whistle about? And who's whistle is it?

[Dreadful Scathe]

'M'.... I believe CJ is starting to spell the name of someone who he wants to blow the whistle on.

What is it ME ? aaaaaargh

[Mary]

You bring the whistle, and I'll blow...

Give me an "M"

M

PS. CJ I've had to chase you half way round the flippin' room for a dance - ah, I know - I'm a stalker!!

[CJ]

M

PS. CJ I've had to chase you half way round the flippin' room for a dance - (

But, hey... you were worth it!!

[CJ]

What is it ME ? aaaaaargh

Behave yourself, fool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You begins with a Y!!

[Gus]

{ODA Mode ON}
Hey .... guess what ... I've found out who the REAL baddies are! The PROMOTERS Turns out that these promoters already KNOW about some of the bad boys (who also happen to be teachers) and yet still allow them to put on classes. Bit of advice ... if one of these 'so-called' teachers causes you problems ...SUE THE ORGANISER ... they have more money and are entirely culpable These bad boys could not exist if promoters put the safety of customers in front of the need to grab cash.
{ODA Mode OFF}

Sorry ... but feeling a bit aggrieved .. especially after I found out the following story.

" Female A was dancing on floor with Male A. Male A had her in a move where he was behind her in a basket type move doing a wiggle. During this move her arms were behind her and her ample chest was pushed forward. Cue Male X who walked up to her and (in front of witnesses), fondled her nipples say "I've always wanted to do that". Shock allround. Male X was promptly banned but was REINSTATED as he was a friend of one of the powers that be (allegedly)!!"

Go figure!

[Diane]

That's disgusting.

I hope she slapped his face when she got her arms free, but I think I would have been too shocked to do anything.