Agony Smurf

[LMC]

and it might give some venues in the south-east a chance to get some more men in to even up the numbers...

[WittyBird]

Pay attention everyone. This is what happens when you have unqualified personal attempt to psychoanalyse the seriously deranged. Ability to dress as Britney Spears is not a valid psychiatric qualification (in this country).

LMFAO

[Barry Shnikov]

My friend might have become a serial dater without knowing it, what sings should I sorry he look for ??

In Just a minute that would so qualify for deviation - from the English language.

I can't even guess what you meant!!!

[Minnie M]

"Andy McGregor models for Ann Summers" DVD.

He is also modelling some of my bras on it you forgot to mention the price: Andy will give you £5 each for buying it

[drathzel]

"Only the lonely"?

(Sorry, couldn't resist...)

[stewart38]

To answer the patients original question.



Your "friend", lets call him "Stewart", can curb his enthusiasm for the ladies with a simple prescription of "Andy McGregor models for Ann Summers" DVD. It's not particularly relevant but is guaranteed to traumatise for a period of 6-9 months, and cause headaches and nausea when near any lingerie department or anyone showing more than an inch of naked flesh.

The flashbacks are harsh but the end result is worth it for the rest of society.

yours community spiritedly

Dr.Aligator Pants

Thankyou Dr Pants ........brief but to the point

Where does one buy this DVD at 'Mikeys Store'

How much does your advice cost ?? (My friend asks, he has a shilling on him but thats between him and the GP )

[Andy McGregor]

Your "friend", lets call him "Stewart", can curb his enthusiasm for the ladies with a simple prescription of "Andy McGregor models for Ann Summers" DVD. It's not particularly relevant but is guaranteed to traumatise for a period of 6-9 months, and cause headaches and nausea when near any lingerie department or anyone showing more than an inch of naked flesh.

In fact, this DVD has been known to cause a satin, fishnet and rubber aversion that lasts the rest of your life

The good news is that you will no longer be scared of spiders or anything black and hairy

You may also notice that I'm not quite in the right place on the screen. This is because the Ann Summers Health and Safety department advised that the cameramen should be blindfolded to prevent accidents at work*

*and projectile vomiting

[Bardsey]

Oh dear! Just been reading the Smurf and Andy posts (and all the others) I think I just wet myself (Luckily we fairies only tickle in a tiny way!)

[drathzel]

You may also notice that I'm not quite in the right place on the screen. This is because the Ann Summers Health and Safety department advised that the cameramen should be blindfolded to prevent accidents at work*

*and projectile vomiting

[Dreadful Scathe]

How much does your advice cost ?? (My friend asks, he has a shilling on him but thats between him and the GP )

My advice is free*. Think of it kinda like Frasier the TV programme except not as funny and without the little dog

I am fully qualified in whatever is needed though, so don't worry. Your mental state is safe in my hands.




* subject to taxes, expenses and service charge

[drathzel]

My advice is free*. Think of it kinda like Frasier the TV programme except not as funny and without the little dog

I am fully qualified in whatever is needed though, so don't worry. Your mental state is safe in my hands.




* subject to taxes, expenses and service charge

We can get you a dog if you want or a spikey creature, if you decide to be different, there is one being kicked about the SS

[LMC]

Your mental state is safe in my hands.

Now THAT'S scary

[Dreadful Scathe]

Now THAT'S scary

What is ? Stewart38's mental state, or my hands ?

[LMC]

Anyone's mental state staying the same.

I suppose that it could be worse - their mental state could be deteriorating if it wasn't for your sensitive insights into their tortured dilemmas.

[Dance Demon]

Dear agony Smurf
I have been browsing through the various sections of this forum, and have suddenly developed a craving for cheesecake. It has to be cheesecake and nothing else. My problem is, will the meringues, pavlovas, and trifles of this world find this provocative.

[Stuart M]

Dear agony Smurf
I have been browsing through the various sections of this forum, and have suddenly developed a craving for cheesecake. It has to be cheesecake and nothing else. My problem is, will the meringues, pavlovas, and trifles of this world find this provocative.

While you're waiting here's a second opinion: why not try a nice custard tart - it's a traditional Portuguese dessert

[LMC]

All this talk of desserts just takes the biscuit

[Beowulf]

Dear Dr Smurf.

I have a problem. I find my mind wanders and I have difficulty maintaining focus on what I'm.. .. oh look a butterfly !!

[Feelingpink]

Dear Uncle Smurf,

I have just bought a fish tank, but know nothing about fish. Angel fish look cute, but if I put them in with other breeds, will they eat each other? How do you tell boy fish apart from girl fish? Do I need to know? Do they have a favourite weed?

[stewart38]

Dear Uncle Smurf,

I have just bought a fish tank, but know nothing about fish. Angel fish look cute, but if I put them in with other breeds, will they eat each other? How do you tell boy fish apart from girl fish? Do I need to know? Do they have a favourite weed?

Mix them with Tiger barbs should do fine