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Thread: Words of advice ?

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    Question Words of advice ?

    There have been a few posts in reference to what makes a good and bad dance, but I am reading with interest that when you come off the floor from a bad dance, you just smile, thank them and scurry away.

    Wouldn't it be of more help to comment on why you felt it was a bad dance, or what your partner could do to improve ?
    I know that I often leave my partner with parting shots of 'try and not grip the hand', 'if you are unsure, just stick out/catch with your right hand', 'try not to over-spin',... but then again I try and dance with new people as much as I can - I would appreciate such comments directed at me, but how would other people who have been dancing a while take it ?

    While I'm on the subject of bad dancing... sweat . How do the ladies feel about the men's perspiration?
    I know that I end up soggy towards the end of the freestyle sessions :sorry:, and am conscious of trying to limit the number of slides or man-wraps. I think I have only missed dancing to two or three songs in the past few months cerocing and am kind of reluctant to skip one just to skoosh and put on a fresh top (what can I say; I love to dance and only get the chance once a week).

    - The question is, is it worth it for the comfort of my partners ? How many ladies are honest enough to say "Sorry, but you need to dry off a bit before I will dance with you."?

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    Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Gadget

    I know that I often leave my partner with parting shots of 'try and not grip the hand', 'if you are unsure, just stick out/catch with your right hand', 'try not to over-spin',... but then again I try and dance with new people as much as I can - I would appreciate such comments directed at me, but how would other people who have been dancing a while take it ?

    I hope you dress your parting shots up a bit with some compliments too... If I'd been dancing with someone and that was all they said as we left the dancefloor I'd be upset.... helpful criticism is great, but it needs to be carefully offered. Some of us are sensitive flowers! :sorry

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    Registered User Sandy's Avatar
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    Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Gadget

    Wouldn't it be of more help to comment on why you felt it was a bad dance, or what your partner could do to improve ?
    I'm not sure about this. You could do much damage here if the person was already feeling a bit insecure. I think it very much depends on how well you know the person before offering any tips etc.


    [i]While I'm on the subject of bad dancing... sweat . How do the ladies feel about the men's perspiration?
    [/B]
    The ladies get quite hot as well! There's wet and then there's sopping wet. Touching a soaking wet neck and soggy back can be a bit of a turn off but it is pretty difficult to stay cool. For me if it gets to the saturated stage I think it might be worth nipping off for a few minutes to change!

    Cheers

    Sandy

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    Re: Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Emma


    I hope you dress your parting shots up a bit with some compliments too... If I'd been dancing with someone and that was all they said as we left the dancefloor I'd be upset.... helpful criticism is great, but it needs to be carefully offered. Some of us are sensitive flowers! :sorry
    I do tend to complement beginners who dance well, but I'm un-sure as to where to draw the line; most of my dances are with smiles and occasional grins when somthing happens that was obviously not what was planned and I have to do some quick improvising.
    Not being big headed or modest, but I take the whole dance as a complement; I try to show my partner off and make them feel as if they are Ginger Rodgers (what's the modern equivelent?). I try and addapt to there style and I tend to end with a grin and a "thank you". If I offer advice and they look crestfallen, I have either offered to dance with them again, or complement them (on there dancing).

    If they are not smiling while dancing, I get worried. - Actually, having danced a couple of times in Glasgow: Is it just me, or are a lot of the Glaswegian women sour-faced ? I'm not saying they don't enjoy it, but I've never seen so many 'non-smiling' faces in Aberdeen .

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    Re: Re: Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Gadget
    Actually, having danced a couple of times in Glasgow: Is it just me, or are a lot of the Glaswegian women sour-faced ? I'm not saying they don't enjoy it, but I've never seen so many 'non-smiling' faces in Aberdeen .
    It's just you! Well, possibly ... I don't know who you danced with and, as a woman, I can't say I've danced with any of the ladies there, but on my visits to Glasgow, I thought all the women I met were absolutely lovely. They knew I was on my own in an unfamiliar city and made great efforts to be friendly.

    Thanks to Janet, I even got taken out to see the Glasgow cabaret team in practise. And - not being toooo biased - I think they are going to look absolutely brilliant. Good luck to them all!

    But I, too, get a bit worried when people are not smiling when I'm dancing with them. I always get paranoid and think it must be because they don't like something I'm doing. Then again, I realise that men have a lot of thinking to do while they're dancing - it's a lot easier for us women who can just switch off and enjoy! I would welcome advice on my dancing, but agree that any such comments should be dressed up in a very nice way.

    At Hammersmith last weekend, I was approached by a lady in the toilets who told me - 'you dance very well, but dance out of time to the music!' I was rather stunned ... I asked if it was during a particular song and she just told me that, no, generally I was out of time. And, up til then, I'd only been dancing with my partner who's a Ceroc teacher! I may not be the best dancer, but I'd like to think that I can at least keep time. I was rather put out by that comment until I saw her dancing and realised she was a very new beginner to Ceroc. But, please if anyone else sees me dancing out of time, or doing something really awful, you would let me know (in a nice way), wouldn't you?
    Rachel

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    Re: Re: Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Gadget


    Is it just me, or are a lot of the Glaswegian women sour-faced ? I'm not saying they don't enjoy it, but I've never seen so many 'non-smiling' faces in Aberdeen .
    I have to defend the Glasgow women as I've never found them to be like this. They are a friendly happy bunch - no different from those who go to Ceroc in Aberdeen, Dundee or Edinburgh.

    Though they may not be as friendly if they find out who you are!

    Grant

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    Not a spoon! Lou's Avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Rachel

    At Hammersmith last weekend, I was approached by a lady in the toilets who told me - 'you dance very well, but dance out of time to the music!' I was rather stunned ...

    ..... I was rather put out by that comment until I saw her dancing and realised she was a very new beginner to Ceroc.
    That might be the explanation, Rachel. Especially if she was new to Ceroc, but had previous dance experience. There was a technical thread started by DavidB a while ago on the intermediates, which explained the timings in Modern Jive. Perhaps if she wasn't used to it, it may have seemed odd to her?

    Besides, wouldn't it be incredibly hard to dance out of time as a woman, when you are being led well by a man?

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    Sour-faced Glaswegians

    erm... I didn't actually refer to anyone in particular {trying to cut short any head-hunts}, I think that it's actually the city as a whole kind of greys people out - if you walk down princes street {can't spell suchihaull st}, how many cheery faces do you see?

    Perhaps it's just one or two that tainted my impressions; I was born and brought up in that area my self.

    Next time I'm down, they can all prove me wrong.

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Lou
    That might be the explanation, Rachel. Especially if she was new to Ceroc, but had previous dance experience. There was a technical thread started by DavidB a while ago on the intermediates, which explained the timings in Modern Jive. Perhaps if she wasn't used to it, it may have seemed odd to her?

    Besides, wouldn't it be incredibly hard to dance out of time as a woman, when you are being led well by a man?
    I certainly hope that's the case(!) ... and I know Marc does like to break the timing and change pace a lot during a dance. I'd hate to think I'd been doing Ceroc for 5 years and was always out of time! I'd always welcome helpful and valid comments about my dancing, but I think what got to me more than anything was the way she said it - and she was so confident that she was right, I assumed she was quite an expert.

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    Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Gadget
    Wouldn't it be of more help to comment on why you felt it was a bad dance, or what your partner could do to improve
    It might help, but it is more likely to really annoy them. So I would never say anything, unless I was asked, or I was the teacher/taxi dancer.

    Originally posted by Rachel
    At Hammersmith last weekend, I was approached by a lady in the toilets who told me - 'you dance very well, but dance out of time to the music!' I was rather stunned ... I asked if it was during a particular song and she just told me that, no, generally I was out of time. And, up til then, I'd only been dancing with my partner who's a Ceroc teacher! I may not be the best dancer, but I'd like to think that I can at least keep time. I was rather put out by that comment until I saw her dancing and realised she was a very new beginner to Ceroc. But, please if anyone else sees me dancing out of time, or doing something really awful, you would let me know (in a nice way), wouldn't you?
    The lady should dance in time with the man - so if you were out of time then you should blame him. Being a Ceroc teacher doesn't guarantee that he was in time, but I would be very surprised if he wasn't. It is more likely that the other lady had done some other types of dancing where the timing is different.

    David

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    Smile Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Gadget


    While I'm on the subject of bad dancing... sweat . How do the ladies feel about the men's perspiration?
    I know that I end up soggy towards the end of the freestyle sessions :sorry:, and am conscious of trying to limit the number of slides or man-wraps. I think I have only missed dancing to two or three songs in the past few months cerocing and am kind of reluctant to skip one just to skoosh and put on a fresh top (what can I say; I love to dance and only get the chance once a week).

    - The question is, is it worth it for the comfort of my partners ? How many ladies are honest enough to say "Sorry, but you need to dry off a bit before I will dance with you."? [/B]
    In slight defense of the sweatier male dancer (my husband, Alfie, sweats for Britain when he dances) I know how difficult it is for him to get off the dance floor long enough to change his shirt as he normally has women dragging him off for the next dance before he has time to wipe his head As a taxi dancer and a teachers demo he has always been in great demand because he is one of the better dancers who has always encouraged his new beginners to ask him for a dance so they at least have a couple of dances when they first start Ceroc and as they progress to intermediate they still come and hunt him down so his followers are ever increasing. A lot of the time it is even impossible for me to find him for a dance

    I do feel as long as you are not physically dripping on your partner and have dealt with the issue of body odour (always pack your deodorant!!) most women don't mind a bit of sweat until it gets unbearable then you will have to make time and change your shirt. The one thing that most women find really off putting is really sweaty men with very hairy armpits in string vests especially when they insist on doing lots of arms around the neck moves.

    Nessie

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    Registered User Jon's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Gadget

    While I'm on the subject of bad dancing... sweat . How do the ladies feel about the men's perspiration?
    What about womens perspiration? A nice wet back and you put your hand on it when pushing them in front of you. hummm. I know alot of men do change tops but do the ladies?

    Originally posted by Emma

    I hope you dress your parting shots up a bit with some compliments too... If I'd been dancing with someone and that was all they said as we left the dancefloor I'd be upset.... helpful criticism is great, but it needs to be carefully offered. Some of us are sensitive flowers!
    I agree with Emma in that a little comment can really upset someone even if you mean it in a nice way. I would recommend not commenting until you actually start to get to know the person and even then be careful.

    Originally posted by nessie2611


    The one thing that most women find really off putting is really sweaty men with very hairy armpits in string vests especially when they insist on doing lots of arms around the neck moves.
    Even men watching these sweaty men in string vests is not a pretty sight! So I feel sorry for you ladys .

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    Originally posted by Jon

    I know alot of men do change tops but do the ladies?

    YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS JON Tops or even whole outfits - it's just that being a man you don't notice:sorry :sorry

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    Originally posted by Sheena

    YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS JON Tops or even whole outfits - it's just that being a man you don't notice:sorry :sorry
    Maybe it's just that the transformation is so complete he doesn't recognise that it's the same person! I must admit that when I was new to some of the other venues and didn't know a lot of people, I occasionally got a bit confused (is that the woman I danced with an hour ago or not? )

    Originally posted by Lou
    Besides, wouldn't it be incredibly hard to dance out of time as a woman, when you are being led well by a man?
    I completely agree. I certainly didn't notice anything odd about Rachel's timing, although I have observed that dancing in time to the music seems to be a skill which escapes a lot of men (or maybe it's them who are right! )

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    Having thought about this a bit longer, it occurs to me that whilst it is not possible to get out of time if you are being led well, it is certainly possible for the lady to be sufficiently "resistant" that she overcomes a weaker lead, and puts the timing out. This occasionally happens to me on a fast record when the follower is too "stiff" and also not moving quickly enough to keep up (some people do these really self-controlled spins, and if they make them last, say 1.3 beats, it can be hard to re-synchronise).

    I also forgot to agree with the earlier posting that women as a group seem to be better at keeping in time than men as a group. This is something which I found very useful when learning, as it meant that a lot of women would "help" me stick to the timing when I was too busy concentrating on moves and leading to have much thought-power left for picking out the beat.

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    I have received constructive criticism of my dancing before and I've always agreed with it too (weak or unsure lead is the most usual) and I can accept it at face value and try harder - Im pretty sure not everyone would though - so unwanted criticism, constructive or not, is unlikely to make you any new friends .

    Speaking of sweaty people - worst I have experienced is getting a face full of long wet hair after a wurlitzer. Tie your hair back !

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Rachel
    [B
    At Hammersmith last weekend, I was approached by a lady in the toilets who told me - 'you dance very well, but dance out of time to the music!' I was rather stunned ... I asked if it was during a particular song and she just told me that, no, generally I was out of time.


    Like the others I wouldn't make a negative comment - especially to someone I didn't know or who hadn't asked for a comment !
    sick: I think that would be rather rude but she may think that having given the compliment she could also add a little criticism.



    if anyone else sees me dancing out of time, or doing something really awful, you would let me know (in a nice way), wouldn't you?
    Rachel [/B]
    :


    Well Rachel I might be down at Hammersmith next weekend although I haven't planned anything yet so if I am there then we can have a dance and I can tell you



    I've been dancing 5 years now too so maybe we can find the same beat

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    Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Gadget

    Wouldn't it be of more help to comment on why you felt it was a bad dance, or what your partner could do to improve ?
    ........., but how would other people who have been dancing a while take it ?
    I'd agree with sensitive flower Emma - I don't take critisism very well (it's a fault of mine) - I can just about manage it from someone I really respect (just about - I had a dance from the lovely Roy and he told me to calm down a bit - I'm sure he was right and I do respect him hugely, but it's actually just made me scared to dance with him now, and infact I haven't danced with him since)- but from someone I don't rate - I wouldn't be very thrilled about it - I've had men who've decided they are good enough to comment on my dancing even if they are still bad dancers (not you Gadget - I've never danced with you!!!) complain that I lead (but I gave that up years ago . :sorry ) - I just tell them I only lead these days when the man is a poor lead!

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    Re: Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Dancing Veela


    I'd agree with sensitive flower Emma - I don't take critisism very well (it's a fault of mine) -
    I'm the complete opposite....i thrive on critisism!
    I hate to think i'm doing something horrendous on the dance floor and nobody tells me. Maybe thats why i was such a good critic for the Dundee team. (oh thise poor people!) I'm standing in for one of their dress rehearsals so it gave me a chance to look at it as an outsider. Pick up on things that you can't see whilst your dancing. maybe i'm too ready to comment though....i just assume everyone is like me and loves having all the things they can improve on to make them a better dancer pointed out.

    Think i'll go down as the girl who didn't mince her words
    (was that what everyone was saying Sheena?)

    filthycute x x

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    Re: Re: Words of advice ?

    Originally posted by Dancing Veela
    I've had men who've decided they are good enough to comment on my dancing even if they are still bad dancers (not you Gadget - I've never danced with you!!!) complain that I lead (but I gave that up years ago . :sorry ) - I just tell them I only lead these days when the man is a poor lead!
    Where do you dance ? If it's in the 'Mills club, then I'm sure you have danced with me at some point {I'm probably that one who thinks they were good enough while being a bad dancer:p }

    So if you try to take the lead it means we men arn't leading properly ? Just so I know; no-one criticises my dancing - and I'm too realistic to think that it's because I'm flawless.

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