View Poll Results: One song or two?

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  • Only one song expected, I'd prefer two

    7 20.59%
  • Only one song expected, that seems right to me

    21 61.76%
  • Two songs expected, I'd prefer one

    1 2.94%
  • Two songs expected, that seems right to me

    4 11.76%
  • More! More! More!

    1 2.94%
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Thread: One song or two?

  1. #1
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    Question One song or two?

    Janet (Bradburn) when she got back from the UK was telling me that in a lot of places over there the "polite" standard number of songs to dance with a partner before "thank you" and looking for the next partner is one, whereas over here it's more expected that you'll dance two songs with each partner. How many would people prefer? Is one song too short to get in synch with a new partner? Does two songs per partner prevent you from dancing with everyone you want to dance with?

    Or is it that normally people dance two songs with each partner in the UK but the guys were looking for an excuse to stop dancing with Janet? (I'd find that one hard to believe, actually).

  2. #2
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    Re: One song or two?

    It would be difficult to dance with all the partners at a venue if you doubled up to 2 dances per person.
    It would also detract from the compliment " That was lovely would you like another dance?" I know you could always ask that "good" partner for a third if 2 was the "norm" but I am sure that would seem excessive!

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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by under par
    It would be difficult to dance with all the partners at a venue if you doubled up to 2 dances per person.
    Tell me about it

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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by under par
    It would also detract from the compliment
    And further more, I was wondering if someone refused or didn't ask for a second dance over there, would it be the 'same' in reverse, like an insult

    I think we're on a win win situation over here, it's normal to only have 1 but a compliment to be asked for a second and your not going to insult anyone by not asking for a second either!
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    Re: One song or two?

    It used to be that, in the midlands, it was highly offensive not to have two dances with someone. If they walked away after just one dance, it meant they had hated it! (And if you had three dances - rumours were rife!!) Things may be changing now, though.

    Since I started dancing in London, I realised that one dance was the norm, and now I do the same in the midlands for the reasons stated above: i.e. that you just can't get round all the people with two dances.
    Rachel

  6. #6
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    Re: One song or two?

    When I first started dancing in London (5 years ago), 2 dances were the norm....

    At some point over the next two years, it seemed to shift more towards just having the one dance.... maybe all those women desperate to get away from me???

    Trampy

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    Registered User Forte's Avatar
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    Re: One song or two?

    I always feel flattered and surprised (low self esteem under the front!!! ) when someone asks me to dance two in a row or even two in an evening...of course there are some people I will ask because I feel so comfortable with them and then who's counting! This last one is my favourite state of affairs.

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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by Forte
    I always feel flattered ... when someone asks me to dance two in a row or even two in an evening...
    That's how I feel too. However there is one dancer at one of my regular venues who has taken to calling me 'Two Times' because he thinks I dance two with everyone and it is therefore not a compliment to him (despite my protestations). I've taken to dancing only one with him now, but it seems a shame to me.

  9. #9
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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel
    Since I started dancing in London, I realised that one dance was the norm, and now I do the same in the midlands for the reasons stated above: i.e. that you just can't get round all the people with two dances.
    Rachel
    But I will ask for a second if the music appeals, or I know the man will be difficult to get to again, or he always dances two with everyone.

    I like to hear a gap between tracks so I'm not forced into the second dance without question.

    I very much don't like Jive-bunny-mega-mixes, I had a whole evening of 7 dances with one man then 5 with another - nightmare (it was a party tho).

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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    I like to hear a gap between tracks so I'm not forced into the second dance without question.
    Absolutely!
    R.

  11. #11
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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    I like to hear a gap between tracks so I'm not forced into the second dance without question.


    Its such a compliment though to get asked for a second dance...

    Its horrible when you've been asked for a second, and someone rushes up and demands you relinquish as they have been waiting (as if you had forced the second dance on the poor hapless man !!!). Has this happened to others or only to me..

  12. #12
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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by foxylady


    Its such a compliment though to get asked for a second dance...

    Its horrible when you've been asked for a second, and someone rushes up and demands you relinquish as they have been waiting (as if you had forced the second dance on the poor hapless man !!!). Has this happened to others or only to me..
    No, only you have the men fighting to dance with you like that - the rest of us are not so fortunate What's your secret??

    I always think it's an amazing compliment if someone asks you for a second (or third) dance, and my policy is always to dance with the person that asks first, whether it's the person I danced the previous dance with or not. I'd be offended if someone turned me down, so I try not to do it to other people.
    Last edited by Sparkles; 16th-June-2004 at 11:01 AM.

  13. #13
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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by foxylady

    Its horrible when you've been asked for a second, and someone rushes up and demands you relinquish as they have been waiting (as if you had forced the second dance on the poor hapless man !!!). Has this happened to others or only to me..
    I've had this happen once, and the waiting man already had two women, he wanted me as the third!! I said,'No thanks', and carried on dancing with the original man, who felt quite embarrassed.

    Many many times women have rushed up....
    I know I do too, but I try and wait for separation first!

  14. #14
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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman
    I like to hear a gap between tracks so I'm not forced into the second dance without question.

    I very much don't like Jive-bunny-mega-mixes, I had a whole evening of 7 dances with one man then 5 with another - nightmare (it was a party tho).
    Hi Alison!!

    I feel very strongly that nothing should force you into a second dance with someone - certainly not a second track that's mixed into the previous one.

    Regardless of the music, a second dance IMHO should be agreed to by both partners, and not assumed (unless you know the person really well and it's therefore obvious) - even if the music continues without a break into the next.

    Such an assumption is disrespectful IMHO.

    When the music is continuous, I will always ask a lady if she'd like to carry on if I want to ... and equally I have no qualms about saying "thank you" and disengaging from the dance if I don't. It's perfectly possible to do nicely.

    Chris

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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory
    I think we're on a win win situation over here, it's normal to only have 1 but a compliment to be asked for a second and your not going to insult anyone by not asking for a second either!
    I am with Lory on this one.
    It is so cool when you dance with a wonderful dancer and she asks you for another
    I was pleasently supprised when this happened to me on some occasions in the UK.

  16. #16
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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by foxylady
    Its horrible when you've been asked for a second, and someone rushes up and demands you relinquish as they have been waiting
    Demands?????

    No one has the right to demand.

    By all means rush up and ask (I will) ... but be prepared to be turned down (I have both turned down and been turned down in this situation).

    You shouldn't feel in any kind of dilemma on this one, IMHO. If you've accepted the offer of a dance from someone, even if you were already dancing the previous one with the same person, there is no obligation to withdraw that acceptance and give it to someone else IMHO.

    If the guy that rushes up doesn't like that... tough !!

    Chris

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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by foxylady
    Its horrible when you've been asked for a second, and someone rushes up and demands you relinquish as they have been waiting (as if you had forced the second dance on the poor hapless man !!!). Has this happened to others or only to me..
    It is even more horrible when you have been grabbed by someone for a dance, then another appears, assumes that you are finishing instead of starting, and demands "their turn". I regret to say I just stood back, amazed that this was happening to me, whilst they sorted it out between them. The first asker withdrew rather than risk a scene, for which I am eternally grateful. Trying to resolve these sorts of situation in the middle of a noisy, crowded dancefloor can get very fraught. I suppose I really should learn doubles ...

  18. #18
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    Re: One song or two?

    I usually dance one song with most people. Apart from anything else, I sometimes feel I don't know enough moves and there's a risk of boring my partner by dancing many of the same moves again in a second consecutive song.

    I might go and find people for a second dance later in the evening (hoping they've forgotten what moves I did in the 1st dance by then).
    Love dance, will travel

  19. #19
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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkles
    No, only you have the men fighting to dance with you like that - the rest of us are not so fortunate What's your secret??
    You misunderstood sparkles... Its the woman trying to force me to relinquish a man she had decided she should have.... Its happened a few times.... I never know what to do, and usually the men do nothing (surprise that !)

  20. #20
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    Re: One song or two?

    Quote Originally Posted by foxylady
    Its horrible when you've been asked for a second, and someone rushes up and demands you relinquish as they have been waiting (as if you had forced the second dance on the poor hapless man !!!).
    Horrible indeed! Is it just me, or does anyone else think that's incredibly rude? I could never imagine going up to someone who is obviously about to dance with someone, and demand they danced with me instead.

    I've never seen it. I'm just amazed at the barefaced cheek.

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