Best put downs (dancing and others)

[stewart38]

You know sometimes you have had a long day your dancing but thinking of being home and the women/man your dancing with is at 'boring' then they say in a sarcastic way

"why aren't you smiling" what can you say ?

Your face scares me ?
My parents died the day before ?
Its a clinical thing but the doctor says I should get better ?
you dance like a cement mixer and Im in pain ?

or just "sorry just a bit tired" and you fake a smile and end the dance

[Andy McGregor]

Here's one

"Are you Andy McGregor?"

[ChrisA]

Originally posted by stewart38
You know sometimes you have had a long day you're dancing but thinking of being home

Er, no...

and the women/man your dancing with is at 'boring' then they say in a sarcastic way

"why aren't you smiling" what can you say ?

The only times anyone has ever said this to me has been when they are such good dancers that I'm concentrating too hard on not messing it up for them, and end up looking too serious.

Which I just 'fess up to immediately, which invariably breaks the ice.

I can think of several people I really enjoy dancing with these days with whom it started like that.

So (a) if you're dancing with someone don't think of something else, and (b) don't bullshit people.

Chris

[philsmove]

You know sometimes you have had a long day your dancing but thinking of being home

NO

Before entering the, Class or Dance

STOP

Collect your baggage (you know, the row with the boss, your bank manager, the guy who cut you up at the traffic lights) and put your baggage in a large plastic bag,

Leave the bag outside the door

I promise you, no one will pinch it

If you want you can pick it up later

Then - and only then

Enter the dance

Go for it

Dance your socks off


Ok, so sometimes this does not work

Time to go home

Don’t inflict your baggage on someone else

[bigdjiver]

Originally posted by philsmove
Ok, so sometimes this does not work Time to go home Don’t inflict your baggage on someone else

Sometines, at an unfamiliar venue, I will ask the most miserable looking lady there to dance, and, often enough make her smile or even laugh. One of my many treasured moments was a beautiful young girl clutching my arm as I left, and saying "Thank you. I had just split up with my boyfriend this evening ..."
Being there for one another is part of what it is about.

OTOH I can go into a venue a bit down, but that rarely lasts more than a few moments. MJ is great therapy.

[Martin]

Best put downs - had to join in

Came across a girl who looked misrable and had had a hard day 2 months ago, so the challenge was for her to give each guy she danced with a put down line. (luckily a local venue and sence of humour rating high).

Put downs we came up with for her included...

This is great have you got any "interesting" moves?
Would you like to lead now?
You must be a beginner?
Can we have a go at dancing in time to the music now?
You look so strange doing that move.

[CJ]

Everything that "Philsmove" said. To quote would make reply too long and even more boring.

MJ is a partner activity: therefor you have a responsibility to your partner; who ever that is.

Stewart, go find a mirror, and take a good, long, hard look. Sort it out, my friend...

[Lory]

UNSPOKEN PUT DOWN!

I was at H**sters last week and I asked a man (I didn't know) to dance, we were standing next to eachother and the ONLY two people not dancing, he replied 'no sorry, I'm going home now', so that was fine!

But THEN, less than 3 seconds later, Rena came in and asked him to dance and he accepted! Right in front of me!

I stood there like a lemon for the rest of the dance and I can't tell you what a 'put down' that felt like!

[ChrisA]

Originally posted by Lory
UNSPOKEN PUT DOWN!

Gawd, innit awful when this happens.

It's happened to me a few times, too - most recently about six months ago exactly in the way you described - I asked one of the best known goddesses to dance and she declined for the same reason you got - and the person she ended up dancing with only seconds later was one of the best known gods. Bah !!

It does feel bad - and kinda stung for quite some time - but at the end of the day I have to face the fact that as a mere mortal I'm a fair old way down the pecking order - and there's nothing to be done about that except to become a better dancer.

At the end of the day, the gods and goddesses are much in demand, never get the chance to stand around much, so at the end of the night when they're planning to go home, to turn down a chance to dance with someone they really want to dance with and maybe haven't done for a while is too hard a thing to do.

Chris

[Minnie M]

Originally posted by Lory
........ stood there like a lemon for the rest of the dance and I can't tell you what a 'put down' that felt like!

This reminds me about a post I put on about 3 months ago that go me into a lot of trouble as people guessed the name of the chap - it IS VERY VERY 'orrible and completely unnecessary

[Sheepman]

We have done some of this stuff before here

Greg

[Dan]

Originally posted by Lory
UNSPOKEN PUT DOWN!

I was at H**sters last week and I asked a man (I didn't know) to dance, we were standing next to eachother and the ONLY two people not dancing, he replied 'no sorry, I'm going home now', so that was fine!

But THEN, less than 3 seconds later, Rena came in and asked him to dance and he accepted! Right in front of me!

I stood there like a lemon for the rest of the dance and I can't tell you what a 'put down' that felt like!

Horrible feeling Lory. Happens too often to the men as Chris A mentions.

Good dancers do not necessarily equate to good persons - a great skill does not change one's personality. Having said that, nice people will remain nice. Like all of us the good dancers are individuals and they do behave differently.

Lily has mentioned on this Forum that she is not asked often enough to dance (by the many intermediate dancers). I would imagine that most would not ask for fear of being turned down by her (incorrect) or being in their own minds unworthy of dancing with her.

I dance with almost everyone and I have been turned down by more ladies than I care to recall. Some of the excuses have been so lame that a slap across the face would have been easier to accept. But I have one happy memory that puts all the nonsense in its proper place - when a lady turned me down, a "dance godess" stopped dancing and told that person "you are going to regret this. he is a very lovely dancer".
OK I may not really be a lovely dancer, but she is a real star.



.

[Gary]

Originally posted by Dan

Some of the excuses have been so lame that a slap across the face would have been easier to accept.

Why should someone even need to give an excuse?

"Would you care to dance?"
"No, thank you"

seems like a reasonable exchange to me. There are a bazillion reasons why someone might NOT feel like a dance with me right now, very few of them are to do with me personally, and there are (usually) lots of other folks to dance with.

I don't want someone dancing with me because they feel it's polite to accept, I want them dancing with me because they feel like a dance (especially if they feel like a dance with me).

I'm trying to work out how to get beginner guys to ask more girls to dance (so they get more practice, so they get better faster). I think a key will be to get them to NOT be ego-crushed when a girl says "no". Maybe that's easier said than done, though

[bigdjiver]

Originally posted by Gary
Why should someone even need to give an excuse?

"Would you care to dance?"
"No, thank you"

seems like a reasonable exchange to me.

I would take that as a probable "No, never."

Something like "Not at the moment, thank you", or "I don't like this song" or "I'm resting" I would take as perhaps a suggestion to try again another time.

[Andy McGregor]

Originally posted by Gary
Why should someone even need to give an excuse?

"Would you care to dance?"
"No, thank you"

This exchange lessens one person and is, at best, impolite. To further insult someone by saying 'yes' to the next person that asks is IMHO, unforgiveable.

Here's how the logic goes.

1. Person A pays for a dance class and freestyle - they obviously want to dance.

2. Person A gets asked to dance by person B - person A politely says 'no thank you' - person B knows that person A wants to dance because they've paid to do that but they might not want to dance now - but this has to be guessed as it is unspoken.

3. In the next 5-30 seconds person B is present when person A accepts an offer of a dance from person C - person A does want to dance at this time, just not with person B.

4. It's personal. Person B gets the message that person A does not want to dance with them - ever. Person B is left feeling like they can't dance, are unattractive, etc, etc

IMHO you should always give a reason for turning down someone for a dance - and that reason should be true and not proved untrue by your actions in the very next moment.

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by Andy McGregor
This exchange lessens one person and is, at best, impolite. To further insult someone by saying 'yes' to the next person that asks is IMHO, unforgiveable.

I agree. No matter how confident you are its always a blow to be turned down with no reason. A reason is all you need for it not to bother you, unless the reason turns out to be a lie! I defy anyone at a dance night to NOT take a 'no, thankyou' as a personal slight, even if said in the most charming way.

[ChrisA]

Originally posted by Andy McGregor
4. It's personal. Person B gets the message that person A does not want to dance with them - ever. Person B is left feeling like they can't dance, are unattractive, etc, etc

In defence of aspiring hotshots everywhere...

This logic doesn't really represent all the shades of grey that you get in reality.

Imagine this:

- you get to the end of a night, you're tired, you've been yanked and gripped to the point of injury several times, and you've decided enough battle is enough for one night.

- so you politely decline the offer, truthfully saying that you're leaving.

- then up comes someone you haven't seen for ages, and somehow you've missed her for the whole night, and asks you to dance. It's a real dilemma, but you want to change your mind.


Generally speaking, when there's lots of the night left, I agree it's poor form to do this - and I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. But at the end of the night when there's a chance that might not come back again all that soon, it's not so clear cut.

When it happened to me, and a fab dancer turned me down cos she was going, then seconds later was on the floor with a far better dancer than me, sure, it stung and I felt really bad....

... but not so much that I couldn't see that she was getting a far better dance from him than she would have done from me.

It was a bummer, but I wouldn't wish a worse dance on her just to stop me from feeling bad.

Chris

[Lynn]

In a class rotation one guy was unsmiling, didn’t look as if he was enjoying himself. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he just doesn’t smile much but when I glanced round he was smiling at the next girl he was dancing with. I felt like a really incompetent dancer that he just had to dance with and clearly didn’t enjoy.

Originally posted by ChrisA

you politely decline the offer, truthfully saying that you're leaving.
- then up comes someone you haven't seen for ages, and somehow you've missed her for the whole night, and asks you to dance. It's a real dilemma, but you want to change your mind.

Generally speaking, when there's lots of the night left, I agree it's poor form to do this - and I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. But at the end of the night when there's a chance that might not come back again all that soon, it's not so clear cut.

If someone did this with me I probably would think they didn’t think much of my dancing. I’m guilty of doing this, just once

A guy asked me to dance, but a couple were dancing that I wanted to watch, so I explained that and declined the dance. A few seconds later another guy asked me and I gave the same reply. As I watched the other couple I realised I had earlier promised the second guy a dance, and it was the last dance of the evening. So when about halfway through the song he again asked me, I danced with him (well, he sort of dragged me onto the floor!).

I did feel bad about not finding the first guy afterwards and explaining why I did that, (especially because the second guy was a better dancer). He possibly thought that I declined the dance with him in the hope of getting a better offer.

I also feel it is better to give an explanation if turning down a dance rather than just saying ‘no, thanks’ (not that I very often turn down dances anyway!). You go there to dance and if you decline for no reason it can easily seem that you just don’t want to dance with that person. My policy if I decline a dance (to get a drink, visit the ladies etc), is to go and ask the same guy up later.

[Bardsey]

Originally posted by bigdjiver
. MJ is great therapy.

I often find that I can go dancing,mainly cos I've arranged to go with friends, when I'm feeling tired/off-colour/bit down whatever, but when I get on that dancefloor it all disappears, especially the tiredness. Dancing for me is such an adreniline boost!

[Lynn]

Originally posted by Bardsey
I often find that I can go dancing,mainly cos I've arranged to go with friends, when I'm feeling tired/off-colour/bit down whatever, but when I get on that dancefloor it all disappears, especially the tiredness. Dancing for me is such an adreniline boost!

Once I was travelling back from Nepal, had been up at 6am on Thurs morning then flown home on Thurs night overnight so back Fri lunchtime, had been up for 36 hours... slept a few hours and went out to a dinner dance. Was too tired to eat even (amazing for me!) but when I hit the dancefloor energy came from somewhere!