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Thread: Forum Limericks

  1. #141
    Commercial Operator StokeBloke's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Forum Limericks

    An egregious grumpy dancer of Blues,
    vexed Caro with words that he'd use.
    As subtle as a bat in the face,
    some girls called him a disgrace,
    but if he asked 'em .. they'd never refuse

  2. #142
    Commercial Operator Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    An egregious grumpy dancer of Blues,
    vexed Caro with words that he'd use.
    As subtle as a bat in the face,
    some girls called him a disgrace,
    but if he asked 'em .. they'd never refuse
    Although I would hardly describe myself as 'grumpy'..

    A big sweaty bloke from near Stoke
    Danced the blues with all manner of folk
    But there was one special girl
    That he cared to twirl
    The little missy he oft loved to poke..

  3. #143
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    Why not try a limerick riposte instead?
    since you asked so nicely

    No wonder he can neither hear nor see
    For his head's filled with smut, not intimacy
    He simply can't triple so he'll stand there and sway
    Calls it blues, says it's sexy, but try as he may
    He's a one-trick pony, with the brain of a pea.



    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    As subtle as a bat in the face,
    some girls called him a disgrace,
    but if he asked 'em .. they'd never refuse
    I think you're grossly misreading me, there, Stokie...

  4. #144
    Registered User Zebra Woman's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    since you asked so nicely

    No wonder he can neither hear nor see
    For his head's filled with smut, not intimacy
    He simply can't triple so he'll stand there and sway
    Calls it blues, says it's sexy, but try as he may
    He's a one-trick pony, with the brain of a pea.
    I think you're syncopating Caro ...

    There seem to be way too many beats in your limerick!

  5. #145
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman View Post
    I think you're syncopating Caro ...
    what can I say, can't help it

  6. #146
    Commercial Operator Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    since you asked so nicely

    No wonder he can neither hear nor see
    For his head's filled with smut, not intimacy
    He simply can't triple so he'll stand there and sway
    Calls it blues, says it's sexy, but try as he may
    He's a one-trick pony, with the brain of a pea.
    Not bad, a bit wordy though.. Let me guess it sounds better in French right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    I think you're grossly misreading me, there, Stokie...
    Not based on past experience he isn't..


    There was an annoying lady who took
    To a dance venue a Harry Potter book
    She didn't dance, but just read
    She's not right in the head
    'cos all she wants is for people to look.

    Look at me...no, don't look at me... look at me... I'm shy....

  7. #147
    Dickie Davies' love-child Cruella's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Stripes are so last year
    It's time to change, my dear
    How about fur for a change?
    I can do you a good range
    Zebra spots to adorn your rear?

  8. #148
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    Not bad, a bit wordy though.. Let me guess it sounds better in French right?
    She managed to make it scan though - you could learn from that.

  9. #149
    Commercial Operator Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Ah ZW, was just getting round to it..

    There was this lady who liked to dance slow
    She dressed in stripes but had a problem below
    And one day for a change
    Wore red pants that were strange
    And showed off her huge camel toe

  10. #150
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    A Frenchman who loves all things Apple
    and enjoys many a sweet champagne tipple
    Watching him dance to the beat,
    savouring his crazy feet
    is enough to make this miseryguts giggle

  11. #151
    Commercial Operator Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by straycat264 View Post
    She managed to make it scan though - ..
    You think? Maybe it's time you took a trip to SpecSavers SC..

  12. #152
    Commercial Operator Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    A Frenchman who loves all things Apple
    and enjoys many a sweet champagne tipple
    Watching him dance to the beat,
    savouring his crazy feet
    is enough to make this miseryguts giggle
    And..

    This Scottish Frenchman you'll never forget
    (Apparently he started the Forum for a bet)
    But when he twirls on the floor
    You have to run for the door
    Or get knocked out by his sausage baguette

  13. #153
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    You think? Maybe it's time you took a trip to SpecSavers SC..
    No thanks. I like to improve my vision - not worsen it

  14. #154
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    Not based on past experience he isn't..
    lol, try me then...
    the line between tough love and profound disgust is not that fine, believe me

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    There was an annoying lady who took
    To a dance venue a Harry Potter book
    She didn't dance, but just read
    you're still aren't over that, are you ?
    Can't take the fact someone could find HP more entertaining that your endless 110 pbm funk ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    ... I'm shy....
    this gets better and better

  15. #155
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    Fair point but ignoring the potential of Rokov within a limerick was beyond my willpower
    And still is....


    Said Val to her hubby Dave Rokov
    I know you're a bit of a show off
    but if you should stray
    be tempted to play away
    I warn you, I will cut your c*ck off

  16. #156
    Commercial Operator Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    And still is....


    Said Val to her hubby Dave Rokov
    I know you're a bit of a show off
    but if you should stray
    be tempted to play away
    I warn you, I will cut your c*ck off
    And there you are sitting back with a little grin on your face - shame it took you all day though!

  17. #157
    Commercial Operator Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    lol, try me then...
    I would, except I'm not the one who's generally wandering around looking for a dance..

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    the line between tough love and profound disgust is not that fine, believe me
    I'm sure your ex-boyfriends would agree...

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    you're still aren't over that, are you ?
    Can't take the fact someone could find HP more entertaining that your endless 110 pbm funk ?
    I'm a lover of HP myself so I know what you mean, but I wouldn't be so amazingly rude as to go to a dance night and ignore everyone in the room whilst making a big show of it. Of course no-one would have noticed you if you had stayed at home would they?

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    this gets better and better
    You're right it does!

  18. #158
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    And there you are sitting back with a little grin on your face - shame it took you all day though!
    I wish it had - it might scan then. Then again, some things are better after a little time and preparation (remember the song you chose for your wedding dance ) Contrary to the usual day I have actually been doing some work today. When the image of a camel towing ZW's caravan to Southport wasn't occupying my mind that is

    And I note you're not denying that Mrs Rokov rules with a rod of iron.......
    Last edited by robd; 28th-May-2008 at 05:39 PM.

  19. #159
    Commercial Operator Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    And I note you're not denying that Mrs Rokov rules with a rod of iron.......
    She's a tough little cookie alright, but it's a cookie covered in a caramel. As for the rod of iron, well with my usual modesty I'll decline any comparison....

  20. #160
    Commercial Operator StokeBloke's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Forum Limericks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    She's a tough little cookie alright, but it's a cookie covered in a caramel. As for the rod of iron, well with my usual modesty I'll decline any comparison....
    This reminds me of the line from the movie Cocoon where one old guy is commenting on his new found virility and he says "It's like blue steel, a cat couldn't scratch it." Great line ... I use it often

    And as for Val covered in caramel ... that is a mental image I am trying not to shake off

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