Originally posted by Neil - with reference to:

MJ/Ceroc is a social club - unlike salsa and many other dances where it might seem 'less' friendly but IMHO a lot healthier.

I think this is a very interesting comment, and probably worthy of a thread in itself (as long as it doesn't degenerate . . . )

[list=1][*]this thread area (polite request)
We could discuss this in the BFG thread, but that would derail the enjoyment of people bonding on that thread looking forward to the event somewhat; similarly we could discuss it on the 'Outside' section of that thread - but that is more suitable for robust bashing and counter-bashing, which has its own aficionados. So could we keep this one less emotional? I'm happy to reply on either of the other two areas as well, but separately, please, so we can also have this discussion.
[*]Why do some debates get heated?
There's a phenomena called emotional projection and we all tend to do it. We see something we like (a new car or computer for instance) and we tend to exaggerate and imagine it will solve all our needs, be the best thing since sliced bread. We do the same in the opposite direction too, imagining a thing or person or viewpoint is 100% wrong or bad. The emotional involvement can be fun, but it hinders rational analysis, especially if the other view is taken from the opposite end of the spectrum and also contains eye-catching 'projection'.
[*]Types of friendship
Friendships are a necessary part of our happiness, we have a right to seek them, and there are many different kinds. Three (often overlapping) kinds are: (all these are positive friendships and all are valuable)

---- Friendship based on association
We form friendships easily with people that do the same things or in the similar physical space
---- Friendships based on benefits
We form friendships with people because they benefit us in some way. Sometimes these friendships can be two-way of course!
---- Friendships based on ideals, values
We form friendships with people who have similar values, ideals, personal qualities.

Sometimes we form friendships for less positive reasons, eg mutual dislike of something or someone, unfair personal gain, but, in the interests of brevity and staying on-topic, I'd like to leave those aside for the moment if I may.

Sometimes the categories overlap a lot - for instance we may like someone because they are kind, but the friendship may be more one of association than a deep valuing and mutual respect of that particular quality. An equal-benefit friendship may also be based on degrees of mutually accepted goodness. But the 'categories' are merely a way of analysing, and can be useful in that respect.
[*]Ceroc and Salsa
Are friendships and friendliness 'different' at Ceroc and Salsa? (different rather than better or worse might be more useful to this discussion . . . ) Can we analyse the factors that make up friendship to tell us why?

Questions we can maybe ask ourselves before coming to any conclusions might be, "What are the main types of friendships I have?" "From which social groups and settings are they from and why?" "Do some groups/settings predispose towards a particular style of friendship?" "If I stopped doing Ceroc (for instance), how many of my friends from Ceroc would stay in touch" (short term / long term; regular / occasional?) (Try the same questions with different social groups that you are involved with.) You can apply the same questions and categories to relationships too.[/list=1]