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Thread: Giving etiquette reminders

  1. #81
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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    I think we should all be a little wary of experiences related on here. Dancing is a two way street. I have seen posts on here slaughtering leaders for various reasons and when I dance with their accusers I think to myself that perhaps they would do well to reinforce their glasshouse before throwing the stones.
    I totally hear what you're saying and accept that there are plenty of things to criticise me about (though I wish people would explicitly tell me what they are so I can correct them!). However, this is a forum and not moaning is probably against some rule somewhere

    Quote Originally Posted by Vidar View Post
    Out of interest: I only lead, so I know what bad habits annoy me about followers who I feel have progressed too soon (lack of frame, dancing by trying to pattern-match rather than proper lead/follow). What are the main habits that annoy you about men who you feel have progressed to intermediate too soon?

    Anyway, this is all from a leader's perspective, so it may look different from the other side...
    As with followers, some leaders have a lack of frame. Other problems I've noticed are the man-standing-still-while-pulling-the-woman-around thing, failing to account for my height, and simple failure to lead properly and then blame the woman when she doesn't do what he wants

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Have to say Alex Faulkner IMHO is the best lead and follow (equally as good) on the Ceroc circuit


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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by Prian View Post
    Oh I only lead. I am a guy or at least have spent my life under that impression. But I was a taxi for 6 years so have seen it many times. Plus of course there is what the ladies say. It's not hard with enough experience to watch dancers and know their competence.

    I don't think that taxis get any specific training. Isn't it based on ones dancing ability and knowledge of moves.
    Aren't taxis chosen on more than just technical knowledge? I've heard of taxis being picked for being friendly and encouraging, to increase the chance of newbies returning - I can see why a friendly dancer may be preferable to one who is technically better but cold, or less good at communicating the necessary concepts in the beginners class.

    When you were asked to taxi, did you get any specific advice, or just get told "you know what to do, good luck!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Prian View Post
    It used to be a rule that taxis could not dance with people of their own ability till the last half an hour or so. Has this changed? But I'm sure many start earlier and I think intimidates beginners who are scared to ask them for help.
    I've heard of this, but again it seems to vary between venues in terms of whether it's enforced or not, and I agree that seeing taxis off dancing with their friends early on the evening can be intimidating. I've seen a few other things to make it easier for beginners seeking taxis - some venues also have taxi ranks where beginners can go for the taxis to seek them out too, and others give beginners glowbands to wear so that taxis can find them easily. But again, it's very much dependent on the individual venue. (I'd be fascinated to see whether there's any noticeable increase in retention at these venues, but then I'm a sad stats geek )

    Quote Originally Posted by Prian View Post
    Perhaps I should say that you can't hope to pull off a drop, lean or seducer without mastery of the basic moves. At least not correctly.
    Sorry, misread what you said the first time. Yes, I agree completely - knowledge of beginners' moves is necessary but not sufficient for advanced moves.

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by meghann View Post
    As with followers, some leaders have a lack of frame. Other problems I've noticed are the man-standing-still-while-pulling-the-woman-around thing, failing to account for my height, and simple failure to lead properly and then blame the woman when she doesn't do what he wants
    Thanks

    Taking account of height can be a matter of experimentation sometimes, especially if you've just learned a new move in a class - when you try it in the wild it can take a few goes before you realise who you can/can't dance it with (which can depend on relative heights, among other things).

    As for failure to lead properly and then blaming the partner, I agree completely, and I think it can come from both sides. If something really isn't working, then I'd much rather pause a dance halfway through, and talk through with my partner where the problem is, which may end up being on either side (or both). But a lot of the time poor leading/following is down to ignorance - it only becomes a problem if someone isn't willing to accept they have any problems and blames the other person. (Which thankfully I haven't experienced a lot, but I can imagine that men are more guilty of this than women )

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by meghann View Post
    Even with the regularity with which people injure me, I would say it's a person's right to be a bad dancer if that's what they want. It's just unfortunate that dangerous dancing is a consequence of bad dancing,
    I'm afraid this is completely wrong, sorry Meghann.

    If you danced alone, nowhere near anybody else, it would be true. However, you have a partner and there are people around you. Any of them could be injured by a dangerous/bad dancer.

    It's like saying 'it's a person's right to be a bad driver'. That would be true if they were driving in a field with no passengers. However, you have no right to be a bad driver if you are a danger to your passengers or other road users.

    The same is true for bad dancers. They have no rights to endanger their partners or those dancing nearby. However, those dangerous dancers are usually unknowing - who would dance knowing they were putting others in danger?

    In my less than humble opinion, it is up to those who are aware of the dangers to do something about dangerous dancers. And the most important of those who are aware of the dangers are those who prepare the safety statement and risk assessment for the business. Knowing you have a risk of injury and doing nothing about it is gross negligence

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by Vidar View Post
    When you were asked to taxi, did you get any specific advice, or just get told "you know what to do, good luck!"
    Actually it was me that asked and i asked for 4 years. Not given any advice but what you say above I think was implied.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vidar View Post
    some venues also have taxi ranks where beginners can go for the taxis to seek them out too, and others give beginners glowbands to wear so that taxis can find them easily.
    Like these ideas.

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by meghann View Post
    I don't know what it's called but actually the name is kind of irrelevant - basically it puts my head at a much lower level than my heart and I get severe headrush when I come back up, especially when pulled up at speed.

    He knows that and still does it anyway. I need to learn to sabotage
    forget sabotage - just say no to dancing with him!!!

    he is not showing you the respect he should when dancing with you.

    A polite No with no explantion sounds like the best fix.

    You do not have to dance with people who do things that put you at risk.

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by Yliander View Post
    forget sabotage - just say no to dancing with him!!!

    he is not showing you the respect he should when dancing with you.

    A polite No with no explantion sounds like the best fix.

    You do not have to dance with people who do things that put you at risk.
    Well, he was my boyfriend, and I couldn't really not dance with him...

    Now I can though

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    I think we should all be a little wary of experiences related on here. Dancing is a two way street. I have seen posts on here slaughtering leaders for various reasons and when I dance with their accusers I think to myself that perhaps they would do well to reinforce their glasshouse before throwing the stones.
    Yeah man !

    Name and shame Rob !

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by Marcusj
    Yeah man !

    Name and shame Rob !
    Oh God! It's me! it's me! *Angst smiley*.
    Last edited by jivecat; 13th-June-2011 at 02:03 PM.

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by marcusj View Post
    Yeah man !

    Name and shame Rob !
    That would put me in the same boat (to mix my metaphors....)

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    Re: Giving etiquette reminders

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    That would put me in the same boat (to mix my metaphors....)
    What else are you meant to do with them

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