Taken from the 'things that frustrate' thread
I've got my own policy, I developed a while back, in which I'll only ask the same person to dance 3 times (not all on the same night obviously) and then I wait for them to ask me back. If they don't, I simply take it as a sign that they don't particularly enjoy dancing with me and with 'no hard feelings' I leave it there!
If they ask me back.. GREAT
Does anyone else have any 'self imposed dance policy's'?
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"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
For the record, it wasn't because I didnt want to - I was simply slightly (probably stupidly) intimidated! Lory is a fantastic dancer & I didn't want to 'waste' her time when their were so many better dancers than me around! So never used to ask her back!
As well as the same policy as Robd (!), - I also have the same policy as Lory (!). If I am the only one ever doing the asking, I can only end up presuming they don't enjoy dancing with me...
Don't think I have any others!
Simples
1) Dance with Lory as many times as I can before she gets fed up of me.
2) Never say no, unless I am sprinting to the loo or grabbing a drink or promised some-one else a dance.
3) Remember who has previously asked me and who I might have had to say no to and seek them out at the next opportunity.
4) Raid the teachers, demos and good dancers as often as possible at weekenders
5) Try to stop singing when dancing
I would have to agree with that.
I think there are one or two others on here that I would feel the same way.
I know that some of you will come back and say what a load of tosh but whether you like it or not it is a fact.
I realise that I should step back and address the problem but maybe one or two of you should perhaps do the same.
I used to have a policy about who I asked to dance and would never ask anyone who refused me. I would respond to a refusal by saying "I'd love to dance with you, please come and ask me if you ever change your mind". And then I'd wait to be asked, never asking that person again. I waited for years with some ladies
Nowadays I take the view that it's only dancing and I've only been refused a dance, not a kidney. I don't even bother to remember who refuses me. If I get time to do a second lap of the room I ask the refuser a second time. Do they say yes? I've no idea because I've already forgotten and forgiven the earlier refusal
I dont ask again if I've been turned down, simply because I find it painfull to be turned down twice in a row, but if after being turned down I am asked by that woman for a dance, I put it down to paranoia and mentally put the woman on my safe not get a knock back off list. if I had an ask three times and wait for request back policy I'd never get a dance
They seem like reasonable policies.
Good policy, but I'm too lazy to remember people and hunt them down.3) Remember who has previously asked me and who I might have had to say no to and seek them out at the next opportunity.
You can keep the teachers and demos. In my experience, my chances of getting a nice dance don't increase just because I'm asking teachers and demos.4) Raid the teachers, demos and good dancers as often as possible at weekenders
Who the good dancers are is very subjective.
Errr, good luck with that.5) Try to stop singing when dancing
Last edited by Maxine; 15th-April-2010 at 08:38 AM. Reason: forgetful
I've re-read your post a couple of times, - it's probably just me being stoopid again, - but I don't quite understand what you're saying?
You say you agree with the way I felt, - but what are you saying about other people?
My experience has nothing to do with anyone else's actions. I've found the vast majority of experienced dancers to be really friendly, - some people, both on & off this forum, have gone well out of their way to be friendly.
My fear was a result of my own dancing insecurities.
No, go on explain it.
Here's mine.
One of the easiest ways to improve your dancing is to dance with better dancers. To save me the effort of prowling the floor etc. simply head for where the teachers are. They will usually be dancing with each other or their demos or some other adventurous types. Bingo. Easy resource to tap. I don't spend all my time there, but its an nice way to spend 30 minutes or so.
Dance at the edge of the floor to show off? To who? And why? I dance because I enjoy it. Not that I think anyone wants to watch a stout balding welshman dance but sometimes the edges are not as crowded as the centre. Dancing is for me not others.
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