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Thread: Things that frustrate

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    Things that frustrate

    I'm really enjoying this Modern Jive thing. I even did a workshop yesterday (thank you teacher type people in Cannock) and followed up with class tonight.

    But sometimes, just the little things.. I get frustrated when
    - I forget the next move in a sequence we're learning
    - my partner watches and follows the teacher, not me
    - I forget the move I'm halfway through leading
    - my partner leads the move without me needing to
    - I need a towel
    - my partner drips on me (especially when I immediately get grabbed by someone else who now thinks I'm the damp one)
    - I lead a double-yoyo (at first it was because I knew no other right-handed moves; now it's an instinctive accident)
    - my partner thinks a hatchback lead _is_ a yoyo
    - I feel I'm boring my partner with my limited set of beginner moves
    - my partner insists on teaching me moves I don't know during freestyle
    - I miss the breaks, the changes, even the beat of the music
    - my partner follows the music inside her head
    - I don't know how to lead out of this fantastic position my partner so elegantly followed me into (that I led into quite by accident - I meant to lead that move, no the one where you do that. Oh, I should've led it there then? Ok, I'll try again, but can someone untie us..)
    - my partner disappears after the dance, when I really did kind of want to chat for a while. Just chat..


    Yet I keep going back. Thank you, all you skilled, patient, often amused and sometimes bemused followers.

    Ah, feel better now

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    Registered User Ickle Sue's Avatar
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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by cederic View Post
    I'm really enjoying this Modern Jive thing. I even did a workshop yesterday (thank you teacher type people in Cannock) and followed up with class tonight.

    But sometimes, just the little things.. I get frustrated when
    - I forget the next move in a sequence we're learning
    - my partner watches and follows the teacher, not me
    - I forget the move I'm halfway through leading
    - my partner leads the move without me needing to
    - I need a towel
    - my partner drips on me (especially when I immediately get grabbed by someone else who now thinks I'm the damp one)
    - I lead a double-yoyo (at first it was because I knew no other right-handed moves; now it's an instinctive accident)
    - my partner thinks a hatchback lead _is_ a yoyo
    - I feel I'm boring my partner with my limited set of beginner moves
    - my partner insists on teaching me moves I don't know during freestyle
    - I miss the breaks, the changes, even the beat of the music
    - my partner follows the music inside her head
    - I don't know how to lead out of this fantastic position my partner so elegantly followed me into (that I led into quite by accident - I meant to lead that move, no the one where you do that. Oh, I should've led it there then? Ok, I'll try again, but can someone untie us..)
    - my partner disappears after the dance, when I really did kind of want to chat for a while. Just chat..


    Yet I keep going back. Thank you, all you skilled, patient, often amused and sometimes bemused followers.

    Ah, feel better now
    My word theres a list of fustrations . . . some of them will disappear in time but please note, not all will!

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    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Well, I did my first MJ class just over 5 years ago and I find the following still apply to me...

    Quote Originally Posted by cederic View Post
    - I forget the next move in a sequence we're learning
    - my partner watches and follows the teacher, not me
    - I forget the move I'm halfway through leading
    - my partner leads the move without me needing to
    - I need a towel
    - my partner drips on me (especially when I immediately get grabbed by someone else who now thinks I'm the damp one)
    - I lead a double-yoyo (at first it was because I knew no other right-handed moves; now it's an instinctive accident)
    - my partner thinks a hatchback lead _is_ a yoyo
    - I feel I'm boring my partner with my limited set of beginner moves
    - I miss the breaks, the changes, even the beat of the music
    - my partner follows the music inside her head
    - I don't know how to lead out of this fantastic position my partner so elegantly followed me into (that I led into quite by accident - I meant to lead that move, no the one where you do that. Oh, I should've led it there then? Ok, I'll try again, but can someone untie us..)
    I'm not sure if that will make you feel more or less frustrated

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    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Things that frustrate

    I find JD and Coke helps
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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by cederic View Post

    - I need a towel
    - my partner drips on me (especially when I immediately get grabbed by someone else who now thinks I'm the damp one)
    - I miss the breaks, the changes, even the beat of the music
    - my partner follows the music inside his head
    - my partner disappears after the dance, when I really did kind of want to chat for a while. Just chat..
    Been there.... Still there sometimes

    - I feel I'm boring my partner with my limited set of beginner moves
    I wish leads would stop saying this... It has been said on here before..:

    It may be what you feel you are doing, but in actual fact you are giving us followers a chance, to improve our footwork, styling, musicality etc.

    Oh and this bit certainly has been said:

    I would much rather be led into beginners moves well done, than be led into a complicated, not well led, arm lock thingy... particularly by a bouncy lead who stops and tells me where I should have gone (mid track - My personal pet hate if I haven't asked for tuition. Can you tell?? )

    Some leads have done two beginner moves and only those throughout the entire track. If they manage this with style, connection and musicality, then I will go back again and again.. To me, (and I'm sure this goes for most follows) it is not necessarily how it looks, it is how a dance feels...

    Get the buzz right and word of mouth will give you a queue of followers clamouring for your beginners moves done well

    Cheers WT

    (A shy retiring follower not afraid to speak her mind ! )

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by cederic View Post
    - my partner disappears after the dance, when I really did kind of want to chat for a while. Just chat..
    There was a time, a long long time ago, when, after the dance you escorted your partner back to her seat and , if you were lucky, she invited you to join her

    Today, in addition to, working out the next move, holding the beat, hitting the breaks, etc you are expected to ask, and remember, her phone number, all at the same time

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    Registered User Ickle Sue's Avatar
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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I find JD and Coke helps
    But it would have to be another tipple for me
    Then again, maybe I should stay sober going off last Friday!?

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by whitetiger1518 View Post
    I wish leads would stop saying this... It has been said on here before..:

    It may be what you feel you are doing, but in actual fact you are giving us followers a chance, to improve our footwork, styling, musicality etc.
    This is true for some follows - I have had dances with others (on this forum) who, after me leading simple moves because I was too exhausted to think let alone think of moves, looked me up and down with a pitying regard, said "...yeah, ok" and walked off. Mind you that was in a blues room where I shouldn't have been in the first place since I was (and am) nowhere near good enough to dance with the people there. Follows, even if you're dancing with someone who isn't challenging you in any way, even if you're not enjoying the dance and thinking "what a waste of 4 minutes this is", even if you really wanted to dance with someone else for that track, even if your partner is (or is dancing like) a clumsy beginner with a repertoire of one and a half moves, could you at least just be polite about it?!

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    This is true for some follows - I have had dances with others (on this forum) who, after me leading simple moves because I was too exhausted to think let alone think of moves, looked me up and down with a pitying regard, said "...yeah, ok" and walked off. Mind you that was in a blues room where I shouldn't have been in the first place since I was (and am) nowhere near good enough to dance with the people there. Follows, even if you're dancing with someone who isn't challenging you in any way, even if you're not enjoying the dance and thinking "what a waste of 4 minutes this is", even if you really wanted to dance with someone else for that track, even if your partner is (or is dancing like) a clumsy beginner with a repertoire of one and a half moves, could you at least just be polite about it?!
    What a load of tosh CRM!!! I danced with you years ago - near the beginning of your blues dancing 'career' and you were easily good enough for a blues room then...I hate to think how good you might be by now
    But you're right about the rest of it - a little bit of politeness can go such a loooong way

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by gamebird View Post
    I danced with you years ago - near the beginning of your blues dancing 'career' and you were easily good enough for a blues room then


    I go to the blues room because I prefer the music, not because I think the quality of dancing is better and I don't like the notion that you need to be "good enough" to dance in a blues room, it sounds so elitist.

    Sorry...a bit off topic, but I could say that the whole "good enough for the blues room" thing is one of the things that frustrates me so back on topic again.

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    I went to Just Jivin' in Cheshunt again tonight to continue learning to dance as a lead and I totally sympathise with your frustrations, especially this one...


    Quote Originally Posted by cederic View Post
    my partner watches and follows the teacher, not me
    It's so irritating!! The followers say things like "I can't see, I can't see the teacher, I don't know what I'm doing" and I want to say "Don't worry about what they're doing, I'm in charge!!".

    Of course, when I was learning as a follower, I did exactly the same thing. I would follow the teachers, anticipate moves, get bored with beginner leaders who did the same four moves over and over again Learning to lead has been a real eye opener, I can tell you. Women/follower (beginners) are just as rubbish at following as men/ leader (beginners) are at leading.

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Learning to lead has been a real eye opener, I can tell you. Women/follower (beginners) are just as rubbish at following as men/ leader (beginners) are at leading.
    I'm learning to spin, both to improve my own dancing when leading, but also so that I can learn to follow (if I can find someone to teach me) - I know I'm not a good lead, so finding out what makes a good/bad lead should help me improve in that role.

    Followers must be awfully frustrated with me at times, so the least I can do is work out what makes dancing fun for them

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    It's so irritating!! The followers say things like "I can't see, I can't see the teacher, I don't know what I'm doing" and I want to say "Don't worry about what they're doing, I'm in charge!!".
    Consider it a test of your influencing skills. Look them straight in the eyes, drop your voice an octave and say, "Trust me."

    Rumours that I follow this with a wink and, "I'll lead you astray" are unfounded, m'lord.

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    It's so irritating!! The followers say things like "I can't see, I can't see the teacher, I don't know what I'm doing" and I want to say "Don't worry about what they're doing, I'm in charge!!".
    Then of course you have the ones who haven't got a clue what they're doing because they're chattering incessantly at you, aren't listening to the teacher, and then midway through the first move when the music starts playing, suddenly go "oh! oh! what are we doing?!" and try and lead themselves through a random series of movements. Even when you've been obviously ignoring their chatter and trying to lead them into the correct move at the correct time, and they've not been paying attention to you either. Follows who don't pay attention in general are a particular frustration of mine...

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    Then of course you have the ones who haven't got a clue what they're doing because they're chattering incessantly at you, aren't listening to the teacher, and then midway through the first move when the music starts playing, suddenly go "oh! oh! what are we doing?!" and try and lead themselves through a random series of movements.
    Totally! We were doing a yoyo last night and the followers that were chatting and not concentrating on me, the teacher or anything then decided to put their own interpretation of the move in to play to compensate for not paying attention. The result being they were forcing their own arms and legs into the completely wrong places rather than letting me put them in the right place but once it's gone wrong I'd lose the plot completely and have to give up on the whole sequence!

    Grrr!

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    It's so irritating!! The followers say things like "I can't see, I can't see the teacher, I don't know what I'm doing" and I want to say "Don't worry about what they're doing, I'm in charge!!".
    When I went to jive lessons (once I knew the basics) I purposely didn't really watch the teacher as this way I knew I'd be following but if it was a beginner then I would maybe guide them

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Ickle Sue View Post
    but if it was a beginner then I would maybe guide them
    Please don't.

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I went to Just Jivin' in Cheshunt again tonight to continue learning to dance as a lead and I totally sympathise with your frustrations, especially this one...




    It's so irritating!! The followers say things like "I can't see, I can't see the teacher, I don't know what I'm doing" and I want to say "Don't worry about what they're doing, I'm in charge!!".

    Of course, when I was learning as a follower, I did exactly the same thing. I would follow the teachers, anticipate moves, get bored with beginner leaders who did the same four moves over and over again Learning to lead has been a real eye opener, I can tell you. Women/follower (beginners) are just as rubbish at following as men/ leader (beginners) are at leading.


    Baffling isn't it.

    The teacher isn't going to be there to copy when we going to freestyle are they.

    Plus, if they're just copying, and not following, - why not stand at the side and act out the moves on their own?!

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    Follows, even if you're dancing with someone who isn't challenging you in any way, even if you're not enjoying the dance and thinking "what a waste of 4 minutes this is", even if you really wanted to dance with someone else for that track, even if your partner is (or is dancing like) a clumsy beginner with a repertoire of one and a half moves, could you at least just be polite about it?!
    Everyone has off nights, when they're tired etc - problem is that people 'judge' based on that dance and don't know you are tired etc.

    Not just followers - a reasonably good lead asked me for a dance once and on the way onto the dance floor I unknowingly stepped in water - with wet shoes I couldn't spin properly and was distracted and probably unbalanced. About halfway through the dance he just 'switched off' and went through the motions of the dance, looking really bored. He's a nice dancer and I'd not refuse him, but have no interest in dancing with him again. My mistakes were unintentional on my part - but his bad attitude was a conscious decision on his part.

    Quote Originally Posted by gamebird View Post
    What a load of tosh CRM!!! I danced with you years ago - near the beginning of your blues dancing 'career' and you were easily good enough for a blues room then...I hate to think how good you might be by now
    He's

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    Re: Things that frustrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    About halfway through the dance he just 'switched off' and went through the motions of the dance, looking really bored. He's a nice dancer ~snip~ but have no interest in dancing with him again.
    Sad to say but maybe his actions, achieved his goal

    Very unfair though, the fact you were judged on that one performance, where you were obviously handicapped your wet feet

    Not so long ago, I came into a nearly empty room to be greeted by the sounds of a beautiful Tango track, wearing for the very first time, a brand new pair of shoes and was instantly asked to dance by a guy who I regard as a very good Tango dancer, I was thrilled.
    But then horror of horror's, my shoes felt like they were glued to the floor I tried to explain and he said he understood but I know he didn't believe me and just thought I was a totally crap follow
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