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    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    First Dance Tips.

    Ok.. the reason I came back from my self imposed exile in the barren wastelands.

    Anyone got any tips for ..ahem.. "Performance anxiety" ? in under 5 weeks from now, I have to take my gorgeous Twirly.. and dance in front of my peers and friends .. all on our own, with no one to hide behind and still make it (a) an enjoyable dance for Twirly and (b) "fun" to watch.

    I'm not a great dancer, ok I can now bring myself to admit I'm not the worst either. (Twirly has been working on my self confidence issues ) But I DO NOT like being the focus of attention.

    Obviously people who compete in dance events (a whole different ballgame but parallels can be drawn) have their routines down pat.. they will have rehearsed every move, pose, and style point to nanosecond accuracy.

    4 weeks on Friday.. which , even if I had the time to go back to dancing .. that's only 4 more classes .. obviously we can't practice "the routine" as we still want to have a little "mystery" about it. (if anyone knows where I can get a breakdance mat from would be gratefully recieved )

    Anyone got any advice on first dances, and getting out there and "doing your thing" with people watching?

    I know , post ceremony, that there only be Louise and I in this vast universe of ours and I'll barely be concious of anything apart from my new bride. I'm hoping that it'll all be fine on the day.

    Did some (Am-dram) acting many years back.. I'm hoping that, come my "cue" the butterflies will flutter-by but I'm still worried. Fluffing your lines is one thing, don't want to fluff the first dance.. especially with dancing friends and non dancing family watching.

    any advice?

    Pete (on the nervous side!)

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    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    From experience of helping friends with a first dance (about 3 times now), they all forgot most of the stuff they'd practiced anyway.

    Your non dancing friends will be impressed by even the simplest of moves, your dancing friends will understand that it can be a bit daunting dancing in front of others. But most of all - no-one is really watching to see your moves or how 'well' you are dancing - they just want to see you happy, enjoying dancing with your new bride and in love.

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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    I've taught many couples to dance for their weddings. As has already been said, many of them chickened out on the day.

    My advice is to stop worrying about it and concentrate on the rest of the day.

    But, if you insist on doing something that is memorable, the best wedding dance I've ever taught was to Andy Williams singing "Can't Take My Eyes Off You".

    Get everyone's attention before the start of the song and stand at the side of the dance floor. Don't move until the music starts. Get the DJ to announce "the happy couple will now take the floor for their first dance". Get the DJ to start the track once you've got everyone's attention. During the introduction walk on very slowly holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes. At the "You'd be like Heaven to touch" turn and face each other and at "I wanna hold you so much" take her in the closed hold - you've done nothing much and already the aunties will be crying their eyes out! Then do a few simple moves and a lift or a drop - and brief the DJ to announce at that point "lets give the happy couple a huge round of applause and join them on the dance floor!". Done and dusted!

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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    I have been to many "dancers" weddings.

    What do I remember about thier first dance, certainly not the moves, not how well or bad they danced... The only thing I remember is that lovely feeling of seeing the newly weds having thier first dance.

    Expectations: I do not think those going to your wedding have any high expections on a "performance", they would just be happy to see you looking into each others eyes and doing some very simple dancing for a minute or two, at which point the DJ can invite others to the floor.

    I have seen some people having worked on a routine, but the best ones IMHO, are those who do some simple moves, with silly grins on thier faces and a sparkle in thier eyes.

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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    Learn a social foxtrot & stick to that - it's less likely to go "wrong", you can cling on to each other ('cos you'll be scared anyway) & lots of oldies know how to do it and will be able to join in

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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    Quote Originally Posted by clevedonboy View Post
    Learn a social foxtrot & stick to that - it's less likely to go "wrong", you can cling on to each other ('cos you'll be scared anyway) & lots of oldies know how to do it and will be able to join in
    Brilliant idea. A foxtrot will look so much more elegant than MJ too.

    I might follow your advice for my own wedding dance.

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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    any advice?

    Pete (on the nervous side!)
    My advice is to not even think about it. When we got married - 6 years ago in July it will be, oooh, it was the most relaxed dance i have ever had because I was dancing with my wife for the first time. I couldn't have cared less who was watching. Whats more important though was it was just a freestyle, we did not practice any moves at all. Why should you put yourself under that extra pressure on your wedding day? just dance. The muggles will assume it is a choreographed routine anyway (they said as much to me) and the dancers among your friends will appreciate the connection the two of you have (Steve Lampert suggested I could have 'qualified' for jivemasters - but he may have been drunk (although he doesn't drink...mad seal disease then)) . All i can say is, for someone like me who is normally oh so aware of people watching in a competition, to not care about it in the slightest was quite exhilarating. I imagine you will be the same. Pick a smooth song and just go for it. We danced to the Dance Demon version of "Moon Dance", he may be available, you should ask .

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    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    Thanks to all so far. I feel I should clarify that Louise and I are not going down the full choreographed routine. It will, for all intents and purposes , be a freestyle. Although I (for my own benefit .. and for Louise's) need to get a few "Nice" bits stuck in my head otherwise the poor bride's 1st dance is going to be a long chain of Yo-Yo's and man spins

    Without saying too much about the 1st dance track we've chosen it's a bluesy number but not too slow and yes, I agree that when I'm up there I'll probably be fine. I'm a geek.. it's in my job description and genetic make-up to be overly analytical

    I take the point about the muggles thinking we're the best dancers they've seen and the Dancers understanding the situation and not looking at the moves. I will probably ask my best man to cough loudly every time I do more than 2 consecutive yo-yo's though

    Thanks to all so far.

    P.

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    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    Well firstly, everyone there is 'on your side', I doubt anyone could care one iota if you just shuffled round, gazing into each others eye, looking 'HAPPY'.

    But what people wouldn't enjoy, is watching the two of you looking uncomfortable and as though you'd rather not be doing it at all! If that's going to be the case, I think its best to just miss that bit out.. there's no rules that say you have to do one

    At my wedding (25years ago, this year ) we had a kind of SnowBall, me and Steve did a few bars on our own, then my dad grabbed his Mum, my Mum grabbed his Dad and the Best Man and Ushers grabbed the bridesmaids and then everyone kept swapping and getting more people up and the DJ was instructed to make the next song a lively one, to keep everyone up and dancing.
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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    Although I (for my own benefit .. and for Louise's) need to get a few "Nice" bits stuck in my head otherwise the poor bride's 1st dance is going to be a long chain of Yo-Yo's and man spins

    Maybe slip in a first move and a travelling return, then you have 3 moves

    I am sure your "poor bride" will only be thinking of how happy she is to be dancing with you.

    When you have been dancing for an eternity (55 seconds) and done the dreaded 2 yo yo's in a row, then time to point to the DJ, which is his que to announce for others to come join you on the dance floor.

    You might even find the track runs out and you wondered where the 3 minutes 40 seconds went.

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    Registered User David Franklin's Avatar
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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    When you have been dancing for an eternity (55 seconds) and done the dreaded 2 yo yo's in a row, then time to point to the DJ, which is his que to announce for others to come join you on the dance floor.
    Actually, if the first dance is stressing you(*), the one concrete piece of advice I'd give is to edit the track to make it shorter. It's not difficult to make 2 minute versions of most tracks. [Alternative plan: if you want 'bluesy', you could use Nigel's Theme from the movie Swing which is under 2 minutes to start with].

    (*) If, far from stressing you, you want it to last as long as possible, then of course ignore everything I say...

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    Re: First Dance Tips.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    Anyone got any advice on first dances, and getting out there and "doing your thing" with people watching?

    Did some (Am-dram) acting many years back.. I'm hoping that, come my "cue" the butterflies will flutter-by but I'm still worried. Fluffing your lines is one thing, don't want to fluff the first dance.. especially with dancing friends and non dancing family watching.

    any advice?

    Pete (on the nervous side!)
    OK. Performance anxiety. It is just like doing a presentation at work. You know more than them and a bit of practice mitigates against **** ups.

    Firstly you know much more about what you are going to do than anyone else in the room. It is new and interesting to them but at least you will have a vague idea about what will happen.

    Your non dancing friends will think that anything is fabulous and your dancing friends may spot mistakes but won't care a hoot because they will also be caught up in the misty eyed romance of the occasion.

    Simple things that fit the music will have much more impact than complex things that ignore it. Keep it simple so that it easy to remember, lock key events to words in the music, don't try to learn anything new and unfamilair this close to the event.

    Practice together. Practice in front of a small number of your friends. Practice in the outfits (or as close as you can). Then practice in costume in front of selected dance friends. Draw up a practice timetable and stick to it and at the end you will feel so on top of your game that the event will feel relaxing.

    If you screw up anywhere in your dance do not let it show on your face. Most people will notice a mistake in the dancing but if you let it show on your face then even your non dancing friends will know something went wrong even if they didn't notice it themselves.

    Choose a short song that means something to you.

    Our wedding songs were

    At Last - Etta james
    Nobody but me - Blue Harlem
    Let there be love - Sije Nergaard

    A good WCS song for a first dance might be
    Baby I love you - Aretha Franklin

    As long as you get a great song that has oodles of meaning for you both it can make practice a great pleasure.


    Remember you are dancing for each other first and foremost just like all those other dances you have had that have led to your wedding.

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