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Thread: Crimbo Cake

  1. #1
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    Crimbo Cake

    I think I'll make my Christmas cake today. I'm going to do Nigella's easy-action boiled fruit cake recipe - basically just chuck in any old fruit with a few other bits and pieces, heat it up, stir and bake. I've got cherries, ginger, pineapple, sultanas, cranberries, apricots & prunes. I did have some raisins, dates and dried mango but I already ate them. Afterwards I'm going to feed it with that left over bottle of cheapo whisky I bought at the airport last summer to anaesthetise myself before flying. Should do fine.

    Anybody else feel moved to start the festive preparations yet? Any hints, tips, recipes etc gratefully received, especially if you've got some almond icing expertise!

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    Re: Crimbo Cake

    Christmas Cake Recipe !!!!

    Ingredients:

    * 2 cups flour
    * 1 stick butter
    * 1 cup of water
    * 1 tsp baking soda
    * 1 cup of sugar
    * 1 tsp salt
    * 1 cup of brown sugar
    * Lemon juice
    * 4 large eggs
    * Nuts
    * 2 bottle wine
    * 2 cups of dried fruit

    Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

    Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
    Go to Tesco and buy cake.

    Bingle Jells!

  3. #3
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    Re: Crimbo Cake

    Quote Originally Posted by philsmove View Post
    Christmas Cake Recipe !!!!

    Ingredients:

    * 2 cups flour
    * 1 stick butter
    * 1 cup of water
    * 1 tsp baking soda
    * 1 cup of sugar
    * 1 tsp salt
    * 1 cup of brown sugar
    * Lemon juice
    * 4 large eggs
    * Nuts
    * 2 bottle wine
    * 2 cups of dried fruit
    Bit puzzled by the gratuitous insult three quarters of the way through...

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