It does seem to be overegged somewhat!
I don't either. In fact as a lot of the threads, which i assume were the bullying ones, were very popular and had a variety of people posting to them, I really wonder how "bad" this all is. In a forum that we all seem to agree is becoming quieter and quieter, why are we complaining about the few remaining popular threads. Threads so interesting we are talking about them again in this new thread. If they werent there, the forum would be ...er...quieter, and I wouldn't have said this.Honestly, I don't see it. Ok, I know the important thing is how an individual 'perceives' a post; but, seriously, I can't understand why we take things to heart so much (and I'm thinner-skinned than anyone I know).
Indeed, something I have said myself many times - if a thread becomes too boring/nasty/repetitive and no one responds - it dies. This happens often. The death of a thread is sometimes prevented by someone posting something along the lines of "why do you keep going on about this?". Which is quite amusing really. If something is unsavoury, just walk away from it.How much mileage do you think there would be in these debates if they were just ignored?
Yes - but it all IS simplistic. This isn't rocket science.Perhaps I'm being simplistic
Laughter I'd hope (does that count as luvviness ?, no matter )Perhaps people would say, well it's different if it's you who's being called a big-arsed, self-opinionated, crap-dancing, egotistical tart … Perhaps I really don't know how I'd react if that was publically said about me.
Agreed. Actually , I'm beginning to hate your post as I wanted to replt to agree, but I agree with everything in it but then I hate doing only even moreHopefully, if I'm decent in the 'real world', my actions would persuade enough people to think reasonably of me. And if someone was superficial enough to judge me by what they read about me on a forum, then I don't think I'd stand a chance of winning them over whatever I did.
I miss the regular posting of all those people plus Andy McGregorAnyway … to get back to the original topic and be (uncharacterisitically) controversial myself … I do think there is a slight element of truth in Gus' post:
Personally, I miss contributions from the likes of David Barker & Franck. Thank goodness we've still got Amir!
ok here's an idea.
People don't like neg repping as they see it as personal. If someone gets neg repped they take it personally and go on a rampage.. or should that be reprage?
So lets do away with repping the PERSON.. but rep the POST instead. Positively scored threads get highlighted/ promoted, negatively scored ones 1st get dimmed then hidden. (NOT deleted) if you want to read them you have that option to expand hidden posts and view what's there.
people then get the choice.. do they want to see or not see negatively repped posts? Thicker skinned ones, who like an argument , can view by default.. or set their hidden threshold lower. Other people, faint souls like me can set their threshold higher and see less of them.
both sides win, no body takes it personally as it's anonymous.. and one vote per person per post. Everyone has the same say.and in the end you can set your own personal threshold as low or as high as you like anyway giving you your own personal forum experience.
and it would do away with the relatively meaningless rep system as it stands. I mean, don't get me wrong.. I like getting (+) rep.. and thanks to everyone who's thanked/repped me in the past. but because I have a rep score of xxxx does that mean I know what I'm talking about when it comes to Tango or Jango or Blues or musicality? non!
I started implementing a similar system to the WoW forum I hosted but there wasn't enough content to work with. Also , implementing this from scratch the old threads would have no scores (so therefore be rep neutral) until someone voted for/against them.
Just an idea.
I can't see how you can really blame the forum for anything that happens in a 'private' message?
The same person could quite as easily PM you on FB or get your personal email address from your website etc...
As a moderator I have no authority over PM's, we have no way of knowing who sent what to who, let alone its content.
Just because one has personal issues with another person who happens to be a member of this forum, doesn't make the whole forum a bad place, surely?
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
I don't agree with you Lory. I think PMs should be subject to the same rules in terms of respect for the person being messaged as standard posts, if not more so given that they will be received as an even more personal form of communication. Yes, people could send the same messages through other routes but in offering a PM system for its registered members I think the forum needs to take some responsibility in its usage. I am not advocating that moderators read PMs without the knowledge of those involved but they should be open to the same sanctions as other forum activity (assuming that they are not currently so). Having said all that, when I received some PMs a couple of years back that were pretty openly threatening me with physical violence should I meet that person at a venue I never thought to report them and just dealt with it directly with that person (who, in fairness, did finally see what a c*ck he was being acting that way)
Let your mind go and your body will follow. – Steve Martin, LA Story
Do you think your behaviour on the forum is radically different from your behaviour in "real life"? My impression is that most of your posts are as decent as you say you want to be in real life. If that's the case, then what's wrong with someone forming a judgement of you based on what you post here? Alternatively, if you act in some significantly different way on-line from real life, then that in itself says a great deal (and not much of it good).
Obviously a single post can be taken out of context; but the same sort of misunderstandings happen in real life as well. To me, that is a failure of judger, not a failure of the medium.
If reality TV has made one useful contribution to society, it's to definitively demonstrate that popularity and quality are not correlated.
There are three problems with this. Firstly, the thread may well die before the topic is exhausted. If that happens, it would eliminate a lot of valuable contributions. I suspect this is the case. Secondly, people who could make valuable contributions may never post in the thread. As such, the thread never has the quality that it could otherwise attain. Thirdly, how many questions are not asked because people have left or don't participate in the forum at all.
These are all unknowns, but without knowing them, I'd be cautious about saying it's not a problem.
I know when I've back off from forums - or from individual threads in the past it's been more from a sense of futility than from a sense of fear. This usually happens when the thread moves from being a reasoned debate to an argument. In the former, people explain and attempt to substantiate their views. A reasoned debate can include questioning and critique. In fact, it almost has to. When a reasoned debate goes well, all parties involved learn a great deal, regardless of whether they agree with one another or not. When done well, the structure of the debate is almost invisible and the topic of the debate takes the forefront.
In a heated argument, people usually state their views as facts and respond to critiques with ridicule. There is usually dogmatism and ego involved (all very easy to explain...). Here, the structure of the argument is far more obvious than the content. In many cases, the content completely disappears and all you have left are two sides yelling at one another.
(I, personally, have done both; now I try to make my points as cogently as possible and walk away as soon as the debate stops and the argument starts).
Why does ego get involved? One nice way of explaining it is the cognitive model. This essentially claims that we all hold a range of beliefs. Some of these beliefs are what they call core beliefs and they are an essential part of the individual's identity. Any questioning of those beliefs is easily constructed as questioning on the individual's identity. This is why religion and politics are more likely to degenerate into arguments than most other topics. And, of course, some of the attacks get very person.
This also slips back into the difference between the forum and 'reality'. Freud has tried to convince us that we have an id and ego constantly arguing for dominance (with the superego refereeing). The id represents the social mores that we've acquired in our lives; the ego is the selfish self. The id is strongly reinforced by our social environment: all those subtle cues that we read and interpret other people. And we take them seriously. On-line, we don't get this feedback and the ego gets much freer rein. Egos like that and make the most of it.. It's very much like being a little kid again, before we acquired all that baggage of trying to think about and work with other people.
Last edited by geoff332; 14th-July-2009 at 05:29 PM.
See, you learn something everyday!!!
I didn't even know about that button..
Rob, I do see where your coming from but as I said before.. I am a moderator and I can honestly tell you, we have no way of knowing who's sent what to who...
So, as Ducasi said, unless we get one reported and forwarded to us.. how does anyone expect us to know?
I'm know I'm clever but I'm not psychic
Of course, if we had proof that a member was using the forum to attack other members, then of course, it goes without saying, we'd step in
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
My goodness you've all been busy whilst I've been working today to improve the number of events I'm involved in running, in creating new concepts and ideas and in helping to increase the dance community and improve and enhance the enjoyment of dance events for that community...
I can't improve much on what Rachel has said, so as a starter for 10, here it is again:
Brilliant post darling and to answer your question; 'No' people don't really believe that this forum has changed because of the bully boy tactics of a handful of individuals - but they want to publicly state it because they like to jump on the bandwagon of popular opinion of people they consider as 'friends' on here and to try and make a point that will hopefully get them some 'thanks'. This Forum is full of people constantly seeking approval and who sadly have so little in their life that they need a place to go to have a voice. Oh, and obviously because they like to pick on me...
No-one really believes the debate we are having here but people want to comment to show they have some 'power' in voicing their opinion regardless of whether it's true or not. ****, **** and **** leaving the Forum because of bully boy tactics?? Perleeeeease! They are statements for effect and that is all. It's like me saying I don't go to ****'s events because I disprove of his self serving posting style (and because he smells of soup) - when it's not true of course because the real reason is that I don't live anywhere near one of his venues; but unless you knew me personally you couldn't prove otherwise (he also doesn't smell of soup, but strangely of Parma Violets and Latex..)
I know most of you know this is true but I also accept that you would prefer not to admit because you like to be contrary where some people are concerned just for the fun of it.
The truth of it is that it IS all about power. In every relationship one person holds the power because, if push came to shove and that relationship ended, they know they could happily move on with little or no problem at all.
In this relationship I have the power (and don't you hate it!) because firstly, for those of you who are not my personal friends, I don't care what you think of me because I know I'm always right... and secondly, because I know if I left the Forum my life would not change one iota - actually that's not true, it would be happier. Seriously how many of you could say the same? How many of you could say that if the Forum ended tomorrow your life would be a happier and richer place?
I'm here because I like to get a rise out of people who are up themselves, and I know people really like that - maybe not everyone, but there is a lot of you I know who make sure you read my posts because it will provoke a reaction of some sort - fantastic, more power to my elbow. And if you post that you hate it, even better!
So, it is really simple... if you don't like what I post then don't quote me and don't enter into a debate with me - but you won't do that because many of you like to get a rise out of me too, so you perpetuate and embellish the arguments and then blame me for them! And that's fine, I can take it - but the difference is I don't whinge about it.
C'mon, how many of you were waiting to see what I would post today - and how many of you are just itching to take this post apart piece by piece and flip it sideways, upside down and inside out...
And by the way Beo, Ricky would never claim that the sky was blue, because it isn't - any fool knows that the sky appears blue because the molecules in the air scatters the blue light from the Sun's rays more efficiently than any other colour in the spectrum.
On that basis then why does the light shining from my ar$e appear so golden? Answers on a post card please to:
******
Last edited by Lory; 14th-July-2009 at 10:14 PM. Reason: removed names
It can be that there is a perfectly interesting discussion going on with civility, an exchange of opinions - even heated opinions ... then along come one or two posters and get uncivilised and the thread you want to read and discuss becomes derailed because of the personal comments. It becomes difficult to ignore what they are saying, especially if there are some good points being made alongside the snipes - and the responses that come back. And if we're spending half of our time trying to avoid or not react to hurtful personal comments, surely that's self-defeating on a forum?
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